This is for the people out there who are wanting to get back together with their ex.
Now, I know that it can be really difficult sometimes when you’re trying different things and it just seems like you’re not making any progress, and getting stuck. Doesn’t seem to matter how often you text them, they just won’t text you back. Let’s just go with that example.
So, what can you do when your ex won’t respond to you?
We’ve talked about reactance in many previous articles about getting your ex back. I’m not going to beat that to death but one of the reasons that your ex is closed off to you is they are experiencing emotional reactance towards you. This means they associate negative emotions towards you and any interaction with you.
So, their reactance toward you is too high. And as long as the reactance is too high, they’re going to be emotionally shut off from interacting with you. If your exe’s emotional reactance is high, you can either wait for their reactance to lower or you can just simply change your approach.
The is the second thing that you can do when you’re getting stuck while trying to get your ex back is realize that something that you’re doing is not working.
If something that you’re doing is not working, that means that you should be doing something else. This is really, really basic stuff here, right? But it happens all the time.
Oftentimes, people will be asking me questions in our weekly Q&A session where they’ll say, “Hey, I’ve been texting my ex every week but he won’t text me back. What do I do?”
The first thing that I always ask them is, “Well, what have you been texting your ex?”
What you text your ex somebody matters. I know we talk a lot about not be getting too caught up in the words that you say and everything but, the words that you say can be a reflection of where you’re at emotionally.
And, if you’re texting him something emotional like the “pouring your heart out” kind of message about how you miss him or how would you do anything to get him back, that might turn him off.
Or, even if it’s just something minor like one of those texts where it’s like, “How are you?” then you get nothing.
So, a week later and you’re like, “Hey, how are you doing?” and you get nothing back, so we you try again with, “Hey, how is it going?”
I can tell right there, the problem is that you’re making the question hard to answer. The way that you are approaching that situation is making it difficult for your ex to respond to your messages or makes your ex angry.
If you have enough present awareness, you would be able to say to yourself, “OK. I need to change my approach because what I’m doing right here isn’t working.” That’s what I recommend if you get stuck.
You either have to give your ex’s reactance time to diminish because it’s just too high to the point where any approach wouldn’t work or you have to change your approach, so that you can do something different because what you’re doing right now just may not work.
Maybe you just need a different approach to contacting your ex.
I hope this gives you a little bit of insight into what to do when you feel stuck and don’t know how to get your ex to respond to you or make progress in getting back together.
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