Today, we are going to continue our journey through texting your ex and some of the common mistakes that people make when texting their ex.
Specifically, we’re going to talk about why your ex won’t respond to your texts. It is often because of the way that you are bringing yourself to texting your ex. It’s the quality of energy that you’re having.
You want to calibrate with where your ex is at emotionally.
We all have an emotional temperature that goes up and down throughout the day.
If we just got some great news we’re probably feeling really good. Our emotional states change throughout the day, like when it’s the middle of the afternoon and we just had lunch or we’re a little bit sleepy, we’re in a bad mood and having a bad day.
It fluctuates up and down for pretty much everybody at completely random points in time, right?
So if you haven’t contacted your ex or haven’t talked to your ex in a while, you don’t know where they’re at, right?
They could be up, they could be down, they could be way down, you don’t know.
One mistake that people often make when they contact their ex is they pretend to always be super happy.
If you’re the “always happy” person and if your ex is feeling down in the dumps, they’re going to feel a strong level of emotional disconnect from you and they’re not going to want to answer your texts.
Your ex is going to think:
“Oh, they are really happy. I feel like crap, we have nothing in common. I’m just not going to respond.”
Now, if you’re happy and they’re happy then that’s great. But you don’t know where they’re at, right?
So you don’t want to come in with your guns blazing.
You want to test the waters first, using what I call “The Investor Strategy” when you’re texting your ex.
You make a small investment in communicating with your ex and you look for a return on that investment. If you get a return in that investment, you can feel comfortable investing a little bit more.
You want to text your ex a small message to gauge their emotional temperature.
Eventually, you hone in on exactly where your ex is at emotionally.
Once you are able to hone into where they’re at, you have a much better chance of connecting with your ex on an emotional level.
That’s why it’s generally a bad idea to start a conversation with your ex by asking them to meet up with you and get together or something like that.
If the two of you don’t already have a good rapport then they might be more likely to say no.
If your ex is in a great mood, they might say, “Yeah, sure” and agree to meet with you.
But your ex is much more likely to say yes to meeting up with you if you can meet them where they’re at emotionally and then guide them to a good mood.
At that point, then you can ask your ex to get together for a coffee or talk to you on the phone later on that night. Or you might ask them to help you out in some way or whatever it might be.
If you can simply meet your ex where they’re at emotionally, they are much, much, much more likely to answer your texts.
So, keep in mind that you have to learn how to calibrate to where your ex is at instead of simply texting them and then thinking, “my ex won’t answer my texts.” Emotional calibration is very important, as well as many of the other things we’ve talked about in this series on texting your ex.
To learn more about how to build a deep emotional connection with your ex through my techniques such as Calibration, Empathy, The Texas Tequila Milkshake or The Hemmingway Strategy, join me inside The Ex Solution Course.
Inside you’ll find out exactly how to create a real, deep connection with your ex and bring them back to you.
Thousands of people have used this secret weapon to get back together and make their relationships even better than before the breakup.