Today, I want to talk a little bit more about what your ex is thinking and what your exe’s experience is when they are hearing from you and possibly even getting back together with you.
Specifically, I want to talk about what your ex is thinking when they say “maybe” to meeting up with you after the breakup.
Maybe you’ve gotten in touch with your ex and asked them to get together with coffee with you (or whatever).
And instead of clearly saying, “yes” or “no” which have their own meanings, your ex said, “maybe” to meeting up.
Now, what does it mean if your ex says, “maybe” to meeting up with you?
The truth is that “maybe” comes from a place of confusion on your ex’s part.
If you know from other things that I’ve talked about in previous articles, you know that your ex has their own emotional journey that they go on during the process of getting back together with you.
During this time, they’re essentially overcoming emotional resistance towards interacting with you or being in a relationship with you.
As your ex moves through the emotional journey where they started at wanting to break up and not wanting anything to do with you toward dipping their toe back in the water, trying things out a little, then having some good interactions with you— then eventually toward becoming open to the idea of getting back together with you— they are going to go through a wide spectrum of emotions.
Most notably, they’re probably going to be experiencing confusion in the middle ground.
Your exe’s emotions are basically going through a tug-of-war. They might think:
“It was a great idea that I broke up with them.”
“No, I still have strong feelings for them. Maybe we should get back together.”
“No, we broke up for a reason. But it feels good when we interact”
In the middle ground, there will be a back-and-forth.
If you’ve asked your ex to get together or to meet up for a coffee or for a date and they said, “maybe,” it’s probably because they’re somewhere around in the middle of that emotional spectrum.
Specifically, that would be the stage of getting back together that I call Riding The Dragon.
What’s going on here is that your ex does have positive feelings for you.
They do actually have some sentiment for you which is what’s motivating them to want to say yes.
But they also have some hesitation, resistance, and apprehension about getting together with you and this is what’s making them want to say no.
When you combine a “yes” and a “no” answer internally, what do you get?
You get a “maybe,” right?
So, what can be very helpful in these sorts of situations is to understand that your ex is confused and they are going through this emotional journey along the way.
For example, if your ex says maybe to meeting up, you can always just make light of the situation.
Your ex might be afraid that you want to talk about deep, heavy relationship stuff.
They might be worried you want to discuss how sorry you are about the breakup or do something like beg, plead or swear up and down that things are going to be different between you.
When most of us have gone through a breakup, we instinctively tried those things and learned very quickly that that is not the best way to build a solid emotional connection and inspire your ex to want to get back together.
So, if you’ve reached out to your ex and asked them to meet up after no contact and they said, “maybe,” there might be a part of them that is hesitant toward meeting up with you.
They might be concerned that you want to have a deep, heavy, emotional relationship talk and they’ll get stuck at some restaurant with you while you emotionally dump on them.
They know that is NOT going to be fun and they won’t be able to just leave because they will need to wait for the check to come.
So what you can do is you can put their mind at ease by casually saying something along the lines of:
“Hey, don’t worry… I promise, I won’t let you seduce me.”
“I promise that there will be no flirting at all.”
Something like that will make light to the situation and let them know that you don’t have any kind of hidden agenda for meeting with them.
You’re just interested in maintaining the emotional connection, building a solid emotional connection and dynamic between the two of you.
That will really help you out when it comes to making your ex feel comfortable saying yes to meeting up with you.
For more help with what to do when you meet up with your ex, visit my website and fill out the quick quiz.
Once you fill that out, I’ll send over your free report, 5 Unconscious Signs Your Ex Still Wants You (Hint: C.A.P.E.T.).
Next, watch your inbox for customized tips, advice and strategies that will explain more about how to build positive interactions with your ex that will inspire them to want to meet up and even get back together with you.