“Should I Meet Up With My Ex After The Breakup?”

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My ex and I broke up 2 months back and he has been texting me about meeting him is it a good idea to go meet him and how do I behave?

This is an incredibly brief question where you don’t give a ton of detail like who broke up with whom, or why you broke up so I’ll work with what you said.

First, I’ll start with situations where you should not meet up with your ex.

If you feel like you can never forgive your ex for whatever happened between you, then don’t meet up with them.

If you know that you will never, in a million years be friendly with your ex, don’t accept the invitation to meet up.

If you don’t see any value in maintaining a relationship with your ex, don’t do it.

If you’re DONE with everything about your ex, then don’t go out with them.

A long, long time ago, I tried to casually meet up with an ex I was curious about and he turned me down.

At the time I felt like I had been punched in the gut. Now when I think back on him and our sorry, sad relationship, I’m THRILLED he said no. It made things very clear. He didn’t want to see me… at all.

I was sad, but there was no mistaking his signals. He wasn’t going to string me along and give me false hope about whether it might work out between us.

In the long run, that was the best thing he could have done for me, even though at the time, I felt rejected. So, if you don’t see a future with your ex at all and you don’t have shared business together like kids, it’s kinder in the long run to turn him down so you can both move on.

That’s why meeting up with your ex is a slippery slope.

As far as whether meeting up with your ex is a good idea:

Do you enjoy your exe’s company?

Do you want to be around him?

Do you WANT to meet with your ex and potentially see where it goes?

If yes… then go casually meet with your ex and enjoy his company. I’d suggest that you do this in a neutral location like coffee or lunch.

If you don’t want to see your ex or ever see a future between you, then don’t go meet him.

If you were the one who did the breaking up and you KNOW FOR SURE you never, ever want him back, then don’t go. It’s not fair to him to go see him if you’re sure it’s over– even if he swears it’s just as friends or whatever.

If you say yes to meeting him, he still has hope and that is much crueler than if you just said no and left him alone.

Should you meet up with your ex if you want him back?

Without more detail, I imagine the real reason you’re asking me about whether you should meet up with your ex is that you probably miss him and want him back and are wondering if this is the best way to go about getting his attention.

If you didn’t care about whether there was a future here, you would have already made your decision about whether or not you should meet with your ex.

…And… it would have been about as exciting as whether you should buy insurance.

Since you most likely still have feelings for your ex and MAY want him back, I’m going to give you similar advice to what I would for a client of Ex Attraction Formula, where I share my best advice for getting your ex back.

I know how nerve wracking it is to meet with an ex who you haven’t seen for a few months. You’ll feel most confident if you look your best and don’t talk about emotionally heavy topics. If you’re afraid you’ll overshare, keep it around 30 minutes and leave him wanting more.

Don’t get into any deep discussions about the breakup unless he brings it up— and even if he really REALLY wants to discuss what happened, keep it short. It’s better to say less right now, rather than more.

If this goes really well, you have the rest of your lives to discuss the breakup. It’s better to leave all of that past history together alone. Treat him like he’s an old friend who you haven’t seen for awhile that has interesting stories to tell you.

Listen more than you talk and keep your mood light.

Be playful and lightly flirtatious.

If you’re feeling down in the dumps for any reason on the day of the meet up, reschedule for when you’re feeling better.

Don’t try (or expect) this meeting with your ex to be overly-romantic. Prepare yourself for it to be awkward and a little uncomfortable, but try to have fun and keep it chatty and light. If the conversation stalls, ask him about things like hobbies, friends and shared interests. Stay away from any topics that you have EVER argued about or you know are a sore spot. Don’t discuss shared property or any “loose ends” business unless he brings it up.

Remember, if you want him back and to ultimately spend more time together, don’t treat him like it’s over.

Along the same lines with keeping it light, try not to start crying for any reason. I wouldn’t usually feel it necessary to say this, but we all have our triggers and meeting an ex after the breakup can remind you of everything that happened between you.

I would rather that you avoid meeting your ex until you feel calmer than if you go to the date and start crying. If you feel tears coming on because you get unexpectedly emotional, excuse yourself and go to the bathroom.

If you feel like crying because your ex is actually mean to you or intentionally hurts your feelings— that’s different. In that case, excuse yourself and leave. Don’t just sit there and let anyone abuse you.

Also, for right now, keep it non-sexual even if you feel like you want to jump him like a hungry lioness. Let that sexual attraction and chemistry build so there is something to work with next time.

Otherwise, assuming you want to see where this goes, good luck meeting with your ex! Keep us updated with how meeting with your ex turns out.

—Elizabeth

P.S. To learn the 3 breakup mistakes you must NOT make if you want another chance with your ex, watch my video presentation here now.

You’ll learn exactly what not to do around your ex, a way to feel better now and I share my story about how I got my ex back even after completely embarrassing myself.

Click here to watch now.

Elizabeth Stone

About Elizabeth Stone

Elizabeth Stone is the founder of Attract The One.

Her popular program Ex Attraction Formula, has helped hundreds of women reunite with their men. She is thrilled to have helped so many people reignite the spark in their relationships.

Tirelessly focused on helping people improve their love lives, her work has been featured on EHarmony Blog, YourTango, Thought Catalog, Mogul, The Good Men Project, Fox News Magazine, Ravishly, Femalista, Popsugar, Read Unwritten, Medium and many more.

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