Exactly How to Get Your Ex Back (And Make Him Think It Was His Idea)

get your ex back, get your ex boyfriend back, getting back together with your ex, make your ex want you back

Unwanted breakups usually involve a mixture of grief, heartbreak and bargaining.

If you’ve recently broken up with someone you love very much, it’s completely understandable that you would start wondering how to get your ex back, because sometimes it feels like the only way out of the pain is to get your relationship back on track.

If you are going through a breakup that you don’t want and you still love your ex, don’t despair!

I have helped thousands of women get back together with their exes and repair their relationships.

If you want another chance with your ex, there is hope.

Even if he told you he never wants to see you again.

Even if your ex is having a rebound relationship with someone new.

Even if you’ve been broken up for a long time.

First, to answer any burning questions you might have– if you came here because you’re wondering if he’ll come back if you leave him alone, OFTEN an ex boyfriend will have a change of heart and want a woman back all on his own.

The women who have helped have most success at getting their exes back and staying together for the long term are prepared and know exactly what to do when their ex comes back— even when it takes him months to toss out a confusing text message all on his own.

…And, I know you don’t want to leave things to chance. You want a real relationship again.

Let’s get started with how to get your ex back.

1. Stop all relationship talks and negotiations.

Many women who are trying to get their ex back make the mistake of starting at the point of the breakup and using logic and reason to bargain with him based on the fact that they are separated from him and want to get him back.

When you don’t agree with someone, it makes sense that you would try to discuss it with him.

When people decide to break up, they have usually thought about it for a while and the real reasons behind it are emotionally driven.

That’s why logically negotiating and bargaining with your ex about how good you are together (or whatever reason you give for why you should be together) always fails.

All you’re telling him when you argue against breaking up is that you don’t agree with him.

That’s also why it’s so important to let him have his way and agree with the breakup.

This is also why negotiating, begging, pleading and bargaining with your ex boyfriend is the worst thing to do because this only reminds him of how difficult your relationship likely became before you broke up.

By negotiating, you’re not getting to the heart of why he’s breaking up with you in the first place– his feelings.

That’s why you stop doing all of that “working to save your relationship” and agree with the decision to break up.

You can only make progress in getting your ex back when you stop all of that negotiating.

You must reset his opinion of you by going away for awhile and letting him miss you.

This way he can forget about any icky attempts you made to “renegotiate the relationship” or “discuss the breakup.”

2. Agree and apologize for your part in the breakup.

Before you go no contact for a while, it’s important to apologize (if you actually did something wrong) and let your ex know that you agree with the breakup.

This is exactly the opposite of what your ex is expecting from you.

Wishing him the best at the end in a formal but mysterious way starts triggering those feelings in him as well.

Especially if your ex already knows you want him back, and you have been emotional around him (I don’t blame you)– then it’s even more important that you directly take the pressure off him.

When you accept the breakup and stop showing any pain or resentment towards him it sends the message that you aren’t going to die without him and eventually increases his respect for you.

After you agree to the breakup, it’s important to go completely no contact for a significant period of time. Fall off the face of the Earth as far as your ex is concerned.

3. Don’t try to be friends with your ex (but always act friendly).

Lots of people make the mistake of pleading with their exes to stay friends because cutting the relationship off completely feels too devastating.

When you want your ex back, I don’t suggest that you actively try to stay friends but don’t refuse to be friends if he asks.

Act perfectly okay with staying friends if it’s your exe’s idea. You don’t ACTUALLY have to be the kind of friends who smack each other on the shoulder and talk about your new flames.

I used to advise people NOT to stay friends with exes they wanted back since it was too easy to blur the lines of friendship and relationship. I don’t want you to fall into a sexual relationship with your ex where he uses your body to get over you.

The problem with this breakup advice was that when you actually say “no” if your ex happens to ask you to be friends, it seems like you are now an angry enemy.

“We’re not friends” sends the message that your ex can’t really get in touch with you for very many reasons other than completely re-negotiating the past relationship.

If you’re NOT friends, then… you’re either “an ex” or you’re a stranger. Neither is what you want.

When your ex is still in love with you, being completely friend zoned is not a problem long term.

Allow the friends label but back away gently if he starts confiding in you about new women or asks you for sex without a commitment. Avoid starting a friends with benefits (fwb) relationship.

No matter what you do, you must give him SPACE to miss you, think about you and want you around.

4. Let go of the fear that your ex will forget about you.

If you were suggesting doing friend stuff with your ex because you’re trying to make sure that he doesn’t forget about you, don’t worry.

Men fall more in love when they’re away from women and have time to think about them. Women are the opposite. The more a man is around us, the harder we fall in love.

Use this to your advantage and don’t mother your ex because you’re afraid he will forget about you.

If you’re watching your ex boyfriend’s dog while he’s out of town and hearing all about his dating experiences, he will use your body to get over YOU, so don’t agree to anything that puts you in a mothering position where you’re doing him a service.

When your ex still loves you, rest assured that the LESS you talk to him, the MORE you’ll be on his mind.

If you do this right, your ex will want to be around you on his own.

5. Make your ex miss you.

When it comes to getting back together with a man, making him miss you is the best way to start the process of winning him back.

Again, remember that your ex can’t miss you if you don’t leave him alone; keep begging him for forgiveness, or text bomb him hoping he will see the error of his ways.

If you have been trying to reason with him, explaining your side of the story or trying to stay in touch with him, going strictly no contact is the very first step to getting him back into your life because we can’t want what we already have.

He can’t miss you if you’re breathing down his neck, trying to show him what he’s NOT missing out on.

6. Stay quiet on social media (for now).

While it may seem like a good idea to share everything about how much fun you’re having on social media in an attempt and make him feel like he’s missing out on being with you, DON’T.

If you absolutely have to, delete Facebook and all of the social sites that you shared with your ex. You don’t want to be thrown into jealous mode every time he posts a new picture or an innocuous status update.

Right now, you both desperately need mental clarity and time apart from each other.

He might not be paying attention to your 358 posts about how great things are now and trying to spy on his profile to find out what he’s up to won’t help you feel better about the breakup.

Research suggests that people who stay friends with their exes on Facebook report less negative feelings toward their exes when they stay “friends” after the breakup, but report less personal growth and emotional recovery.

That means that if you stay Facebook friends, it’s harder to MOVE ON.

This is a double edged sword– because these findings suggest that the very act of staying friends with your ex means that your ex will feel less negatively about you over time BUT he will experience less sexual longing and desire to get back together with you.

When you want your ex back, the happy medium is to stay connected on social media but do an un-official social media blackout where you don’t really post much or change anything.

That way, your ex won’t be seeing much of you online, and he’ll naturally have the space to wonder what you’re up to but not experience the final feeling rejection of seeing that you unfriended him.

Also, to get the kind of clarity it takes to get your ex back and actually create a better relationship with him long term, you’re going to need to take a break from him.

Don’t peek at your exe’s profile, don’t stalk him, don’t look at all the girls on his friend’s list to try and determine if he might be dating someone new.

Just don’t.

Unfollow your ex at your first opportunity and then LOG OFF. In fact, do it right now. I’ll wait.

7. Stop focusing on what you have lost.

Focus instead on what you have to gain from this breakup– whether you succeed at getting back together or not.

When we are wrapped up in grief, sometimes the only thing we can think about is getting back together and repairing things.

And, I completely understand the temptation to dwell on your ex.

But, the best way to get past this breakup is to switch your focus away from “GET HIM BACK AT ALL COSTS” and toward yourself.

What do you really want your life to look like?

What kind of relationship do you really want?

This is an opportunity to get back to who you were before the relationship, reignite your interests and get passionate about your life again.

When you focus on the bigger picture, it’s easier to get past your grief and into a place where you can really make some exciting changes.

You might not believe me right now, but no matter what, this breakup is a good thing. It’s an important and rare opportunity to reboot and redefine what you want your life to look like.

It’s no surprise that people report significant personal growth after a breakup– even if they eventually get back together with their ex.

Also, from a law of attraction perspective, when you are still heartbroken, you are NOT vibrating in a way where you can get him back. Happy relationship energy is MUCH different than the rejection, pain and disappointment you’re feeling right now.

8. Be completely selfish (and get happy).

Start living your life for you again, not for you as a couple.

In fact, if you made your relationship with you ex your “whole world,” the pressure to make you happy might be the real reason why you broke up in the first place.

When anyone makes their relationship the center of their world, it adds a lot of pressure. As nice as it is to feel happily coupled up, relying on a man too much it puts responsibility on him that he may not feel ready for.

When you create an awesome life for yourself, by yourself, it sends him the message that the pressure of your happiness is not ALL on his shoulders.

It’s time to start making your life as awesome as it can be so that another person ADDS to your happiness rather than supplies all of it. Dive into your favorite hobbies, social activities and career. Do things that excite and scare you.

9. Clean up your side of the break up.

Even though I just told you NOT to bargain with your ex boyfriend, making your own changes behind the scenes is a good idea.

Sometimes people are lucky enough to get a clear, completely understandable reason why someone decided to breakup with them.

If the reason he gave for breaking up with you was something fixable that you have direct control over, consider making changes if they make sense for you and feel authentic.

10. Date other people.

I’ll admit that dating new people right now might not sound fun at all and getting back out there is controversial.

Relationship experts and coaches disagree about whether or not you should see new people when you want to repair a relationship but let’s cut to the chase here.

Your ex told you he didn’t want your relationship.

Dating new people is the logical thing for you to do– and while he knows that intellectually– right now he likely sees you as totally intoxicated and in love with him so he doesn’t have to really lose you by breaking up.

…And… loss is an incredibly strong motivating force.

Research suggests that people will work MUCH harder to avoid losing something they already have than they will to get something new.

If your ex boyfriend was the one who broke up with you, you’re no longer a challenge to him. He thinks you’re totally conquered– so he’s bored to death with your relationship and doesn’t really see “losing you” as a real loss… yet.

The quickest way to change that is to genuinely start playing the field.

You don’t have to flaunt it or sleep around– you just need some new experiences. So get yourself an online dating account (or 3) and open yourself up to new opportunities.

11. Think cool, calm and collected.

After you have successfully gone through a no contact period with your ex, you have already made him miss you and he is most likely curious about what you’re up to.

The next step is to remind your ex with a little tease of history the two of you have, about how wonderful being with you was when things were good between you.

You must be light, light, light in all of your interactions with your ex.

No crying, no emotional re-hash of the breakup.

No “WHY!?!” when you do see your ex.

Do everything it takes to be cool when you talk to your ex and start spending time together again.

When you act happy and cool about the breakup, it reduces the pressure on him. He doesn’t have to worry that you are trying to get anything from him or doing something he thinks (for now) he doesn’t want.

This doesn’t mean that you have to pretend be a fake, happy-go-lucky version of yourself who doesn’t really exist.

Remember that your ex knows you very well. Aim for “the best version of yourself” and not “why is she acting like she’s high as a kite all the time?” Your mindset is important right now.

12. Get yourself back in the frisky “just met him” mindset.

When you do begin talking again after no contact, use the mindset that you’re JUST starting a fresh, new relationship with your ex.

Treat it like you are dating your ex for the first time all over again.

Remember to stay mysterious, look your best, and keep in mind that it is more important now than ever to INSPIRE him into wanting you back in his life– not to logically try and talk him into getting back together with you.

In fact, trying to use logic and reason to get him back is one of the most common reasons why women fail to get their exes back, because the reasons that people get back together are emotional!

When you first started dating, you probably didn’t look at each other and say rationally,

“You are obviously a compatible mate to have a relationship with. Let’s date.”

You got into a relationship the first time because you connected, had fun together and were attracted to each other.

To get back together naturally, get yourself back into that “let’s have fun” mindset again and take the pressure off.

The Bottom Line About How to Get Your Ex Back

Getting your ex back is a long road, and one you must only carefully tread down. Before you go down the road, think hard about what you want from your relationship.

If someone could let you go in the first place, think about why you want him back in your life. Before you try to win your ex back, decide if he’s a prize worth winning.

Was your breakup due to real incompatibility or just simple bad timing and misunderstandings? Tell me what you think in the comment section below.

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51 thoughts on “Exactly How to Get Your Ex Back (And Make Him Think It Was His Idea)”

  1. Avatar

    How do you fix what’s broken if you don’t know what it is? Seriously, if a man tells you that he wants to be alone 2 months after he practically moved mountains to get you, told you that he’s doing what he needs to do to keep you, how do you reconcile that?

    1. Elizabeth Stone

      Hi JR, thanks for your comment.

      That is downright frustrating indeed. I think the only thing you can do is work on yourself, make yourself happy– especially if you’re facing a situation where he’s disappeared completely. Sometimes men do what you described because the chase is over… which stings.

      1. Avatar

        My name is Jeanette. Several months ago I became involved with a married man, Carlton. We both decided to divorce our spouses and be together. We fell in love in a beautiful place the setting was perfect. I have discovered that I do not want to leave my husband, Bill. Bill and i have been married for so many years that he is comfortable to me. Besides, Bill would never cheat on me or hurt me in any manner. I miss Bill. Bill is not in good health and I want to spend our remaining time together. I do not want to hurt Carlton. I appreciate all the time and attention Carlton has shown me but I do not love Carlton. Carlton and I got caught up in this affair. Please help me to know how to tell Carlton I want out of our relationship. I don’t want to talk with Carlton about the problem I am wanting to end our affair. I am close to my sister, Judy and cannot bring myself to tell even her. Judy and Carlton are best friends. I want Carlton to realize how much he misses his wife and return to her. I know he still loves her. I want a clean break. I want for the breakup to be Carlton’s idea so I may put on a heartbroken act and beg for him to stay with me. But I do not want to stay with Carlton. Help me. Neither of us could ever trust each other since we are both cheaters. Bill wants me back, unconditionally. I know Bill loves me and I want to be with him. I am sorry Carlton and I hurt people.It was not right for us to hurt others.I will never trust Carlton. I want him to go away. What can I do? Please tell me how to let this be Carlton’s idea, so he saves face. I WANT OUT. I absolutely believe Carlton wishes to return to his wife. And I WANT TO GO BACK TO BILL. Help me. I love Bill.

        1. Avatar

          Hi Jeanette,

          Please excuse my long response– this comment got lost in the shuffle.

          Sorry to hear you’re going through this. All you can do is tell both of them the truth about where you’re at. Even though Calton will be hurt temporarily, it’s better than robbing him from the opportunity to find someone else.

          If you want Bill, go for Bill– but only after you tell Carlton.

          Hope that helps,


  2. Avatar

    Sorry for typos. I meant: How long should the no contact period given that after break up there were 4 months of toxic crazy stalking and he is now with someone else…?

  3. Avatar

    My ex is younger than me by 10 years. We were together about 20 months. We fell deeply in love and until yesterday, had been living together for a year in what I thought for the most part,absolute bliss. Last week he said he was feeling like he was missing out on ‘something’ perhaps due to his age, but I couldn’t say for sure. Anyway, after spending a couple of nights at his parents and a couple here (I couldn’t leave him alone I know it was stupid but I was so shell shocked). Two nights ago I said to him that if he isn’t sure then he needs to leave. The next morning after a very emotional parting (on both sides, he was almost beside himself), I left out house and said I’d be home at 5pm and I expect all of his stuff to be moved and him gone by the time I got back. I came home and he’d done so, but leaving a momento deliberately behind. I have deactivated my facebook account (I don’t want to know what he’s up to) and cut all ties with him. I’m close with his family and they’re devestated by all this. I have a couple of mail deliveries going to his parents house which his sister in law is dropping off to me so I don’t have to go back there and risk seeing him. At this point I want nothing more than to have him home but I really would appreciate some advice. What do you think my chances are on him coming back to me eventually? He’s a good man who hated himself for hurting me.

    1. Elizabeth Stone

      Since this all happened within the last 72 hours, here are my thoughts:

      You asked him to leave– then told him to be moved out by the time you got back the next day. If you want him to come home, this seems incongruent with your intended result. Your words say one thing, but your actions say another. It’s as though when he didn’t give you the right answer (when he felt like he was missing something), then you made the decision for him.

      It’s hard to say what the chances are that he’ll come back. You’ve got some serious work to do.

    2. Avatar

      I am curious to know..did he come back? I am in a similar situation, told him to get out and he did, I am now having regrets and miss him terribly. Texted him to tell him I didn’t mean it but not gettinf anywhere with him its been a week today

      1. Avatar

        I see this is from last year, but I’m going through the same thing with a child involved.

  4. Avatar

    Hi,I’ve been seeing a guy for six months who hasn’t been in a relationship in 10 years.He’s very nonchalant and doesn’t open up much.We had a spat this weekend and he said he wasn’t coming back to my house,I was too much for him.I’ve never seen him look like that.I told him I was sorry for my insecurity issues and nagging.He eventually said he wasn’t mad,but I kept asking him anyway.Although I do have insecurity issues,I believe the good outweighs the bad.This isn’t our first disagreement,but the first serious one where he’s said he wasn’t coming back to my house and that I was too much for him…..do you think he’ll come back and what do I do?

  5. Avatar

    Hi Elizabeth,
    I am enjoying all of the articles and your helpful advice to others. I was in a very wonderful , perfect 3.5 month relationship. He said he loved me and he spoke often about our ‘forever’ future together. We had planned to move in together within 6 months. I was careful to not put pressure on him for any of this- all his ideas BTW. I was not needy. He is 55yrs old and I am 45. We both have on camera careers. We went through the holidays and both of our birthdays. He was the most amazing to me in every way. Suddenly after a 3 day weekend together he breaks up with me the following day over the phone. He says he has lost the love and has no chemistry with me and has been trying for weeks to understand it because he wanted us to work so badly and that he was so in love with me. He said he can’t make any future plans with me as it is not going to work out. After I asked if it was anything he could site as a reason he said he may have a;type; of look that he likes and its not mine. I am blonde. I have gained 15 lbs and I believe this is the reason and he did not want to tell me. To him it showed a lack of restraint and this was of concern to him. It turned him off and he lost the chemistry. He texted me the day after we broke up saying ‘ I am great and it was his loss- and he would send my stuff back’ My reply was a text saying’ I realize we were not meant to be- I wish you the very best.’ (it was longer than this) – he texted me back saying ‘well said , i feel the same.’ I did not respond to that text. He mailed my stuff back with no note. It seems he is over me and has been for a while. During the break up phone call he said he was pondering a break up for 1 month. He hid those thoughts very well!
    We have never had a fight and were very close. He said he had never felt closer to anyone in his life than he did with me. I am back at the gym and already lost 5 of those 15lbs. How do I tell him I now realize I played a big part in his decision to break up with me, and that I am back in the gym and getting my sh*t together? I have been applying the no contact rule but its only been 1 week and I really want him to know that I’m getting myself back fast! What are your thoughts? Is he gone forever? Thank you so much.

  6. Avatar

    I find your articles spot on! But I have a hard situation. My boyfriend of 6 months decided to quit his job and leave to his home country to sell a house he has there so he can better himself financially here. He did have some financial issues and was stressed a lot. While we did not see eye to eye on some things – mostly the cultural differences – we got along very well and always worked through the arguments. The physical chemistry was great too. The problem is – he left me saying he would be back in abt 30 days. I have not heard a peep from him in 38 days and his prepaid phone has been cut off. How in the world would it ever be possible to get him back? It is like he vanished into thin air. The last words he said to me is I love you a lot and will miss you. Vanishing was not something I would have expected from him. I am devastated but would be open to speaking with him again if I knew how to reach him. Thanks.

    1. Elizabeth Stone

      Thanks for your kind words K.

      What a difficult situation to be going through. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with that.

      The best thing to do is to pull your focus back onto yourself, as difficult as that may sound. It hasn’t been a super long time, but I agree that being in limbo like you are is the worst. He may come back with an explanation or he may not, but it’s a bit too soon to do anything drastic.

      Sending you love at this tough time!

  7. Avatar

    Hi Elizabeth,
    I have been casually dating a friend of mine for 6 months. For the most part it has been a positive experience and I have begun to develop feelings for him. He has stated that he is not ready for a relationship despite the fact we see each other with increasing frequency. I’ve made the choice to ends things between us rather than continue falling for a man who has no intention of being mine. I didn’t ask him why he won’t commit nor did I ask him to change his mind, I just told him I can do better than spending my time with a man who doesn’t want to be with me. We have agreed to remain friends but I will be giving him a wide berth for a month or two so that the heat can die down from it and I can heal. I’m trying to remain as mature and cool headed about it while maintaining my own integrity, I am responsible for my own emotions and refuse to play victim or go begging to him. If I’m being honest I’d say I hope with a bit of space that he reconsiders his position on this and puts forth the effort to keep me, however I won’t be losing sleep over it if he doesn’t. Life is too short to be waiting around for someone to fall in love with me. I really enjoyed reading your post and would appreciate any further suggestions for me that you might have. Thanks 🙂

  8. Avatar

    My ex bf broke up almost 4 months ago after 3 years and the first month involved him initiating contact to see how I am and what im up to but he’s not okay, depressed which I think was the cause of the break up because he’d lose his temper and assume it was because we didn’t work and not so much his depression. Ever since I’ve been there to help and support hoping he’d get some help but he won’t and only tells me. I want him back and im happy to work on this but he’s adamant we fought too much.

    In my defense I was sick all of last yr and I wanted more of him when he couldn’t give it with his situation. I only kept in touch because I didn’t want him to feel more alone and not have anyone to talk to but I’ve come to the point where he won’t do anything about it so leaving him to hopefully realise. He has no one around him in relationships or any female influences to say girls and drama is normal and im his first serious gf.
    I told him we shouldn’t speak and he was upset but will respect my decision. Will he let go of the fights and Realise if he loves me as much as he says and thinks I’m amazing, fights can be fixed?
    I have bad days sometimes and just don’t want such a good relationship to end because of depression or petty fights!

    Hoping to go 2 months at least with no contact..
    Please help

  9. Avatar

    Okay, quick version of the story–met a guy 6 months ago who was in the process of divorce. He wasn’t interested in a relationship, very transparent about that, but wanted to keep seeing me. We had frequent “pulse checks” on where we are, still dated others, but kept agreeing to keep going forward slowly. I fell hard, and started bristling at him seeing others, but we talked through things. Our last date was a whole long weekend (2 weeks ago), which was amazing, says him, but very “intense” and he pulled back. I said okay, let’s not talk for a few days (we talk or text more or less all day every day). Monday, he wants to talk, tells me he is conflicted, needs to see his therapist to work through whether he wants monogamy or not. By the end of this horrible, civilized but tearful (on both sides) call, we are done–“our dating relationship is over”, his gut tells him this. I am heartbroken, and send him an email thanking him for honesty and wishing him love and joy. He texts me later that he wants to write to me his thoughts. I end up going to his house because I didn’t think we needed to do that over the phone. Many tears and hugs later, I leave with us wanting to be in each others’ lives somehow. Now what? I want him back. We have had the most fun, connected, joyful and loving 6 months of my life and we are both in our 40’s. I know he was open about the relationship thing, so part of me always saw this coming, but I am still reeling because our connection was so strong and our last date was so amazing. I am trying no contact, but I did slip this morning and send him a funny inside-joke message and we have had a pleasant text exchange. I know I need to stop that, firstly, but then what? Thanks.

    1. Avatar

      Okay, we were emailing about a work issue and I ended the email with your suggested “Sorry things went awry…” with a little bit of my words added in–just an inside joke we were talking about yesterday, nothing sappy or demanding or anything. I know I have to trust the feelings are there and he will come around–he even mentioned my being “in demand” personally in this work email, AND mentioned something I had posted on FB late last night, so I know he has been “stalking” me, and I think those are positives. Just need to calm my nerves enough to let him come around. Sending lots of positive energy into the universe right now!!

      1. Avatar

        Hi Missy,

        I hope it’s going better with you and this guy. I know it’s been a few days, so if you’re still going through this, the best way is to keep it super light. Let him reach out to you. Let him make the moves, but be responsive when he does. From your message, it doesn’t sound like you’re all the way broken up, so perhaps keep it light and take a wait and see approach while focusing on yourself. Date. Re-ignite any interests you’ve been neglecting.

        Sending you love!


        1. Avatar

          Thank you! I got a little heavy over the weekend, but he responded and we have been keeping it light since. We are totally broken up, and I agreed that is where we should be for now, I asked him to not close the doors totally on us, but not to answer that right now. He didn’t, but sent another email just keeping the conversation going and making it very clear that he is truly stalking my facebook page every day. Fine by me, I post a lot and have been posting the fun things I have been doing, like the concert I went to with one of my girlfriends last night. I have also had a couple dates and I have 2 more lined up. He knows this, too, just as I know he has dates, too. I am confident that we are meant to be together, though, the Universe just doesn’t drop something that amazing in your lap to take it away so quickly! And the last few days I have been seeing signs that he agrees. Keep sending the love my way, thank you!

  10. Avatar

    After 15yrs together, 13 yrs married. My husband walked out, went to work one day didn’t come back home. He out of the blue told me approx 6 mos ago that he didn’t feel appreciated, lacked affection from me,therefore he wasn’t IN LOVE with me anymore. I begged him to stay and changed my ways. After a few mos he started saying I was suffocating him, I was trying to hard and pushing him away. I love this man with all my heart and want him back. He’s only been gone a week, there’s alot of his things still here. He says he’ll get it later. He’s living with friends right now. Because of some repair issues to the house it’s only been about 48hrs of no contact. Any advice on what else I can do to win him back? I’m reading all kinds of info on how to get your ex back. Some are saying go out have fun, make sure he knows it, others are saying don’t rub it in his face. Could you break it down for a relationship that’s lasted this long please? Thank you

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    After 8 months distance relationship, as he was living in Another city, My boyfriend decided To leave me because as We were seeing Each other like every two weeks during the weekends he said We were arguing a lot about small Things . And he coudnt handle It . That is not true , Those Things he considered small were important for me , but the point is that . This just happened last weekend , And i was really sad And depress since Then , but I made a really big efforce not To contact him , I desactivated My Facebook and he didnt text me anything yet . It has been just 4 days . he is introvert person And I am scare he interpret My silence as a Sign i gave up And I dont care . I dont think he Will text me as he has This personality. How long should i wait To text him From Now ? If he text me Something during the weekend , should I answer ? I Miss him a lot , And i am really sad , i want him To understand that leaving me was a mistake but i dont want him To think i dont care What happened. Please I need an advice .


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    I was dating an introverted guy for a few months and we broke up a month ago because I had a lot of bad going on and became very insecure and couldn’t believe someone so good could like me so I questioned it and told him words I thought i needed to hear him say. After soul searching, meditation and therapy I’ve turned a corner. I realize us being together pushed me to think of liking myself and breaking up galvanized me into loving myself and working on some other issues. A few weeks ago I still desperately wanted him back but also to know this. I sent him a fb message saying thanks and how I was doing well. He read it but didn’t respond. This weekend we are supposed to both be at same play. Now I still would like to start something new with him but at the very least I want closure and him to know the way my life has improved since he was there for me through the bad. I have gotten past daddy issues, gotten a new job, look in mirror and like who and what I see and have been a happier more confident person. I’m just nervous about seeing him. Any suggestions

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      Just act like nothing happened. He already knows that you want him back, from your Facebook message which he ignored.

      “Closure” is an excuse to go down the road of needing something from him. You don’t need anything from him, you’ve been doing a great job working on yourself. The universe gives us situations we need to make us into something better. If your new and improved energy is attractive to him, you’ll know– but it won’t be because you’re doing a performance for him, it’ll be because he realizes he wants you in his life. And, wouldn’t that better than feeling like you talked him into it? So go, be polite and focus on yourself. You don’t need anything else from this man. *hugs*

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    Me and my bf were together for 1yr 10 months and it was a serious relationship cz our future was decided together..but 3 months ago we broke up with each other..
    We got committed in school life and was together in school for one yr..alot happened in that yr..we used to meet everyday and was close together..he was my first serious bf,first kiss,a person who gave a smile on my face,my best frnd,actually my everything..but in starting of relation i made him jealous by flirting with a guy on fb..but i told him everything clearly..and he was jealous of some guy in my class and he created a misunderstanding in his mind that i too still like him..but all these things didnt affect in school life and he used to love me alot..he used to treat me like his 1 priority..used to take care of me everysec..
    As the school ended we have different career options..and he live 15 mins away from my house..but one day he told me he cant live with me cz he cant trust me cz of wht i did on fb nd that misunderstanding about that guy..we seprated for 7 days..but i git him back as i told him im all urs so pls dont be afraid..i even told my family about him cz i seriously love him alot.. After that breakup of 7 days we became so much close to each other..i was a bit physical with him too..and all i with him cz i trusted him alot..i joined my college and day by day he became insecure and told me i cant trust u cz of what u did with me in school..i everytime told him pls trust me im all urs cz i love u alot..we used to meet each other very less but whenever we meet each other it was best memories for me..
    In dec we starting to fight alot cz he think im in diff college and will cheat on him with another boy..but this was not the truth the truth was that i love him and didnt c any boy other than him..so frm dec 2015 we used to fight alot cz he always told me that u dont love but i always told him that i only love him nd also i was not on fb or whatsapp cz he was insecure..
    One day on feb 1 2016 i was alot frustated cz of our fighting with each other every day and i told him lets break up..we broke up and when i realised wht i did was wring i called him and told him to meet me..we meet each other the next day..and we dicussed everything but he didnt listened to me at all and he told me that he dont love me anymore so he broke up with me..but i cant live without him..so i called him everyday and starting begging him we meet 3 times in in those 2 months and our last meet was awsome..we were happy and enjoying..but the fear of loosing him made me beg him alot..then one day i called him nd he told me that he is committed to some other girl..and the girl whom he got committed to was the one in our class and was behind my bf frm starting so i dont like that girl at all..and alot jealous of her..abd when he told me that i was broken completely..but i used to blindly trust my bf so i called that girl and she also told me yes its true..i was literally broken..my friends called my ex nd told him that he was wrong..and i was so much angry that i abused him..
    One day i called him and was crying badly in front of him pls dont leave me..and when i got to knw abt his new gf bcz of my angerness i snd her a msg on fb told her that what she did was wrong..so that day when i was begging him to come back he abused me for that girl cz of that msg and we bith abused each other..after few days he blocked me from whatsapp and this blocking me is from last one month..he didnt unblocked me and he dont use any social site like fb also..
    Few days later i contacted his brother on fb and he told that me girl and my ex r not together he was just making u jealous..
    After few days on our 2 anniversary i called him and msged him too but he didnt picked up my call..nor even rply my msg..after that i was in contact with his brother only but not him..one day like 15 days before i called him and he told me that u abused my mom so dont call me ever..and his brother too msged me that now he is with that girl..i was broken again and till date i havent contacted him..
    And in new 2-3 months he is shifting to other city for his higher studies..
    Im alot scared that will he ever contact me or he will just forget me and move on with that girl..and they live in long distance..and how much ik he is in rebound relation with her..cz its not even been a month and he got committed with her and we both were serious for each other in those 2 yrs..but im alot scared about loosing him.. I seriously live him alot..and i knw i have ruined everything in those month cz i was scared of loosing him.. And he will never try to contact me even if im on my nc..i really want him back.. Pls dont say thats its not possible to take him back..i really need ur help how can i get him back cz i miss him alot and scared of loosing him..pls help me..
    Idk if that girl is his gf ir he is just making me jealous i really dont know..cz i think he is just making me jealous..but im scared cz time is running..do i have a chance??

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    He told me we needed to take a break after my ex husband had looked through my phone and got his number out of it and begin to text him. After that I tried so hard to leave him alone but I wanted closure so I kept trying to talk to him until he told me to leave him alone. So I left him alone for several days and was just trying so hard to move on. Well, we work together and I opened my big mouth and told one of my friends about what had happened and she thought it would be a good idea to try and talk to him about it. That only made him upset more, I never asked her to speak to him or go look for him. I didn’t want anybody to interfere, I was just venting. Well I had texted him and he just said he wanted to be left alone for awhile. I’m just curious will the no contact still work? Will giving him the space he asked for help? I really love him and just want to be with him. He is the most amazing man I’ve ever met. Please I need serious answers

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      Hi Shayla,

      No contact is about your only hope at this point, but you have to use the time to regain your emotional center. Wishing you the absolute best of luck with your ex husband.


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    Will this work on a girl? I was dating a girl from 4.5 years and this past year I began working 2 jobs and going to school and she felt I wasnt giving her enough attention. Shes been going put and finding superficial attention at bars and I don’t understand how to get her back, we were perfect, I just got busy with work.

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    I am a 46 year old woman with a 9 year old daughter. Four and a half years ago, I started dating a man who is 13 years younger than me. I wasn’t looking for a younger guy at all. He was the son of a woman I was really good friends with, and over the 3.5 years we dated, we fell in love.
    Our relationship wasn’t always easy. I hadn’t had a serious boyfriend in 10 years, and the age difference scared me. I always felt it would end because of the difference and knowing that eventually he would probably want children (I was 42 when we met). He assured me he didn’t want children, but I think I pushed him away often because of this fear. He always came back and was so loving and good to me. My daughter also fell in love with him and thought of him as her dad. I feel now that I took him for granted.

    I believe we came together because we were both broken in many ways. We always had fun together, but it often turned into nights of drinking too much, and then terrible fights. We both would end up apologizing, but it continued. Within the first year and a half, one of his best friends took his life, and my ex-boyfriend (who I was still friends with) tragically passed away. We both turned to alcohol to try to heal the hurt and pain. At the same time he also decided after watching all his friends getting married that he might want children someday, and after a night of drinking and driving in which he almost crashed his car, he sat himself down and decided that he needed to change. He thought I did too, and that we needed to do this separately, and not as a couple. He realized his life was not going the way he wanted, that he had made too many mistakes in his life that he wanted to fix. He said he wasn’t happy and wanted to make himself happy before it was too late. We broke up and we both were devastated. I knew I had to make some changes too, but the separation killed me.

    Over the next 6 months, he continued to call me twice a day, and we were still intimate. It almost felt like we were still in a relationship. I always felt uneasy, but was so afraid to not have him in my life. He also was struggling, often crying because he didn’t know what he was doing or wanted or how to even change his life. We held onto eachother out of fear, I believe. We both loved eachother very much, but knew that things had to change. Out of my own fear, I didn’t give him space, and questioned our break up all the time. I felt he was rejecting ME when he was saying that he just wanted to get his life together. He also said he didn’t know how to break the ties with me either.

    The last four months were hell. He was slowly detaching from me, trying to live his own life and heal himself, and I couldn’t let go. I kept asking how he could let me go if he loved me so much, and he said he was willing to if it meant we would both become happy and better people. Deep down, I knew this was true, but I was scared. I would constantly try to get him to react to things I said, along with threats that I was leaving and never coming back. He was always there to answer my calls and be there for my daughter, but he became angered by the same conversation over and over again. This continued for a few months, but he would still sleep with me. He would tell me he didn’t know what was going to happen, but no matter what, he would always love me and my daughter.

    Slowly, he pulled away. Times where he could have been spending with me and my daughter , he was out with his friends and was drinking. Even though we weren’t officially dating, I was hurt and would accuse him of wanting to be with anyone but me. I felt his explanation of why he wanted to break up was bogus, since if he really wanted to “fix” himself, why was he still out drinking with his friends?

    The final fight was two weeks ago. He had been desperately trying to avoid me the last few weeks because he felt all I ever wanted to talk about was “us” and he had already explained there could be no “us” if we both didn’t change. I felt confused all the time since we had slept together and he periodically would tell me he loved me and missed me. A lot of awful things were said on both our parts during that fight. He was out that day, and I asked him if he was with another girl. After swearing and becoming increasingly angry that I was still trying to talk to him about us, he addmitted that he was with a girl. He wouldn’t pick up the phone and when I asked him to speak to me, he told me that it was over, that there was nothing else to talk about and that I should “let it go”. I asked him about this girl, what had happened between them, and he said that nothing did, they were just talking. I felt like I deserved an explanation, as he had told me he wasn’t dating and didn’t plan on it for awhile until he got his life together. I had a panic attack, but he wouldn’t answer the phone and we fought over text the rest of the night, both of us saying horrible things to eachother. I tried desperately to reach him up until 1:15 in the morning, but he wouldn’t answer the phone.

    We haven’t talked since. I woke up the next day, dejected and devastated . I vowed I woudn’t call him and I haven’t. That was two weeks ago. I sit here wondering if he has started dating someone, if he missed me at all and I feel guilty for feeling as if I pushed him to the point where he is gone for good. I also have anger as I feel very deceived and used over the last year. My daughter also feels a sense of loss, as she lost a friend too.

    I don’t know what to do. I go back and forth in my head, thinking he misses me so much and doesn’t want to call because he needs space, but then I feel that he has really moved on, and that is why he hasn’t called. The unknown is killing me. I know there is still the issue of his maybe wanting kids someday, and I don’t want to sit here having hope for something that will never happen. I feel anxious all the time and as if this feeling of loss will never end.

    Since this happened, I have done some soul searching. I stopped drinking, and plan to continue on this path because I do want to become a better person for both me and my daughter.

    Do you have any advice for me? Is there any hope that we can get back together eventually? Or has he moved on? Is this just an example of bad timing? My stomach has been in knots for over a week, and I can’t eat and sleep. Please help!

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    My ex bf broke up with me almost 3 months ago, after that I did the no no of begging. We did fwb for over a month and I apparently made him feel smothered. He now has told me we can keep in touch but he can’t hang out even as friends because he is trying to get sober and he says for his sanity. He told me he isn’t counting out anything in the future but doesn’t see it happening. When he broke up with me he said he just wasn’t ready and didn’t want to be in a relationship. We had been living together for about 9 months, were off and on for a year before that. He didn’t drink for 7 of the 9 months we lived together but began drinking again and everything changed. He got distant, started going out to the bar all the time with his friends. And he hated that I was miserable because of it. He complained that I was needy because I wanted to spend more time with him, we had separate schedules and I only really saw him on the weekend. But he just told me I was too needy. I don’t know what to do. I am on my 7th day of no contact and he hasn’t tried to contact me. I am working on myself but I still think of him all the time. I want him back but am afraid I pushed him too far away.

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    He left me because he said there is no trust about us , he can’t trust me anymore because he discovered that I was liar in an issue, but at the same time he return to be in contact with her ex-girlfriend
    I knew that she left him, and there is a problem between them
    We got divorced 60 days ago
    Is there is a chance to get him again. In this period he blocked me in everything and don’t contact me for any reason

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    I need some advice, I’ve been with my husband 15 years and married 4. 5 months ago after finding he had been talking to another woman only on the phone, he told me he was not in love with me. For the last 5 months he has been back and forth telling me he is done and then he is not and that he doesn’t know what he wants. All the while we have still been sleeping together every 2 days until a week ago. He stayed the weekend and then Monday told me he was one again and that he wasn’t here emotionally just physically. Then Tuesday said he didn’t know if he was done or not but wasn’t dragging me along anymore. I have been crazy the last 5 months trying and begging him to come home or work on our marriage. We haven’t went one day without talking to him. I told him yesterday we needed a complete break from each other and he said he was willing to give it a few weeks and see what happens. So at this point after pushing the last five months, will no contact even work? I want him to miss me. We have a child together and our finances are still together too. We agreed only to talk when that is concerned. What should I do?

    1. Avatar

      Give him all the space and time he wants. No contact is excellent– because you need to heal. Don’t do it as a manipulation, do it because you’re still so deep in this that he’s going to go back and forth and be a pain in the butt until you assert a boundary. He won’t give you a full, loving relationship while he can throw you crumbs and have you dance each time he does so. Don’t beg him to do anything with the marriage. That never, ever works.

  20. Avatar

    Hi Elizabeth I’m struggling a lot right now with an ex I been on/off with for 4 years. We’ve been through A LOT and the past situation we had was very toxic to the point where we didn’t speak for 5 months, (the longest we haven’t spoke). But he found me and reached out to me to talk and apologize but things moved quicker than ever. He said he didn’t wanna lose me, he asked me back out for the first time in years but then changed his mind because of how scared he was, and how he’s not ready but claims he wants to be with me.. Just recently a situation from the past was brought back up and caused a huge stir but we talked things out on the phone but right now he’s very distant, he doesn’t respond as fast to me anymore and just doing his own thing, hanging out with friends and confiding with everyone else. I sent him a text saying he can speak to me later on and to let me know if he needed anything else. It’s been a day since I spoke to him, I haven’t posted anything, I’ve been completely ghost but I truthfully miss him. We talked 24/7 to now nothing. And he knows I’m going back to school next Saturday. Is there any other advice to have him come back to me again and have things back the way it used to be? I’ve been doing everything and reaching out and being the bigger person but I keep forcing him when that’ll make him run even more. Please help, thank you.

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    Hi Elizabeth.
    I had been talking to this guy for 2 months and it was amazing! Everthing, chemistry, mental, emotional, physical attraction was there. This almost never happens. I had matched with him on tinder (so I wasn’t even looking for anything serious) swiping longdistance in my home-country (though he’s not from there but a Mediterranean country and is only living there for work) about a month before an upcoming trip there (I don’t live there but in the US). So we ended up talking for over a month and half before we even met. We talked almost every day (sometimes for hours) and became very close. The connection and chemistry was SO strong before we met, he himself would keep bringing it up, even saying things like is it possible to have symptoms of love before even meeting? Of course when we met all that connection,chemistry, attraction whatever it was, was there. Unfortunately we only got a chance to see eachother a few times while I was there (and b/c of external factors wasn’t able to even have sex, though we had insanely strong sexual attraction). He would tell me everyday how much he’s into me and we’d even joke around naming our kids. Everytime I’d bring up the fact that I’d be going back soon (to the US) and what will be of the distance b/w us? he’d brush it off as oh let’s just see how far it will go, let’s go with the flow, or “it’s just a plane ticket”. The moment I came back I noticed the guy who’d contact me daily from good morning to goodnight and everything in between, overnight became distant. So I asked him what’s going on and he said oh I dont know honey this is complicated, are we together? that when i left he felt my place becoming empty.. and that he don’t even know when he’d see me next? next year? and that he’s going back to his home country in a few days (he gets 2 wks off to go back) and this time of yr it gets crazy there b/c it’s in the Mediterranean and all the europeans flood there and what if he ends up hooking up with a girl? He said it could happen without me finding out but he just wouldn’t feel right. So I told him what you want me to go away, stop talking to you etc? which he replied noooo… I would ask him then what, what do you want me to do? Everytime his reply would be I dont know. I said you want to be just buddies? He said I can’t be buddies with you. But he had no offer for me on the table, and ended up just completely not contacting me (eventhough he said no when i asked). I never heard from him from the next day of that day (I had sent him some random thing the next day but that was it). It has been 5 weeks complete.. During this time he went back to his party hometown for his 2 wks vacation a wk after the convo and has been back at work the past 2 wks. Maybe he met a new girl there? What do I do? Is he never going to reach out again? I’m so sad and miss him so much.
    I also asked him how he changed overnight? (He wasn’t even affectionate anymore) he said “when I start thinking ‘logically’ etc..” as if he’s determined, but when I had asked him he acted confused… keep saying he doesn’t know. During the times we were talking he’d tell me how hard it is to meet someone “like me”.. but that changed overnight the moment I got on the plane and returned. I feel like I got kicked to the curb for the possibility of him hooking up with random girls?? :((

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    My ex of 5 1/2 years left me because he fell out of love for me. I still love him unconditionally and I want him back in my life as my boyfriend because he is my other half. He and I still talk daily because he’s helping me battle some things mebtally. How do I get him back in love with me?

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    Hello, my name is Jenn. My boyfriend just broke up with me a few minutes ago. Thas was third time , but we been together for 1 year and 12 months, soon to be our second anniversary. He broke up with me because I’ve been emotional and overwhelming… He says that it is the best ideas to grow up apart from each other and forget about each other. If I do the no contact, how am I suppose to know that he will come back when he says he will never come back to me? I’m just really anxious and very heartbroken right now… I don’t know why I’ve been all emotional and lonely.

    1. Avatar

      Hi Jenn, jus a tot and i been in ur shoes. As hard and painful as it is, live ur own life and re-discover urself. Meet new friends especially out from his circle. Emotional and needy is a huge huge turn off and it kills the love. You need to be on ur own independent and strong before seeing anyone or ur ex back. You need to move on from the past relationship and where it fail and move on to a new relationship but fix urself. All the above said helps alot 🙂 be strong ya

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    I’ve been wt my ex for the past 6 yrs and he broke up wt me for the 2nd time. On 3rd Jan2018 we went into no contact for 2 months. Sometimes we bump into each other and he totally ghost me (no eye contact). 2 weeks ago (end of non-contact) I met him on his boxing fighting competition day as I was feeling all worried sick. We met there, had eye contact and yet still so cold towards me. Then i made a move to meet him elsewhere after the competition, we ended up in bed. Last weekend our friends came for an event and we had some plans for them, we became closer but there were episodes of where he was insecure (questioning if im seeing others, sleeping wt others) then when i ‘secured hugging and kissing’ him, he suddenly asked me not to treat him as bf. I got so irritated and said fine no more treating him nice. So i stopped all the hugs and kisses. To my amazement, he came back putting so much of efforts being nice but i think he isnt sold on the idea of getting back to me, he doesn’t want to be in a commitment for a while. What should i do now? i feel the sex brings us closer but i dunwan him to use me to get over me. I hardly said no to any of his request. Im not sure what i should do, pls advice ya. If im suppose to stop sex then how the best way to do it? Some of our friends asked if we are back but we agree to say we are just ‘friends’.

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    So me and my boyfriend have been dating for 6 years, saturday feb 24 we went to dinner and then back to his house i fell asleep and woke up at 6:45 am and saw he was gone, called him and he was at his friends house down the block drinking. He didnt leave me a note or text saying where he was going he just went. Came back at around 7:15 we had words and i left his house angry. We spoke later that day (now its sunday feb 25) and we fought back and forth and he just thought he did NOTHING wrong! but lets be honest you dont leave your S.O. in your bed and go to a friends house an drink without saying anything! Back to the phone call on sunday we didnt leave off us breaking up. Monday comes i dont hear from him, tuesday comes i dont hear from him. Saw him in the gym and he didnt even acknowledge me or come up to me. Tuesday night my head was going in all different directions and thinking all this thoughts “how could he be reacting like this when i did nothing wrong” “How can he think what did is not disrespectful”. So i decided to text him wednesday morning which is now Feb 28th basically asking to meet up so we can discuss what’s going on, . He responds and says he wants a break, and that he wants to be left alone so i replied “okay i guess ill talk to you when i talk to you.” It’s now a full week since i have heard from him. i haven’t contacted him because i did nothing wrong. So now i’m kinda freaking out because idk if i will ever hear from him again, or is he waiting for me to contact him?, (since every time we fought or broke up i would always run back to him and initiate contact first). I dont want it to be over because i do love him and i do want a future we always talked about, but i want him to fight for me for once.

    What should i do?

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    We had been dating 6 months. He had been separated from his wife for 2 years and they have a 9 year old daughter together. His ex was the first person he opened up to and was never in a relationship before her. They got married because of their child. We started dating in early October. Their divorce was just finalized in December. In the beginning few months, there was extreme desire on his part to be with me and initiate everything. Since the divorce, he has been saying things like: “I’m unsure if I’m able to be into anyone right now”; “I’m not ready and I don’t want to screw up a good thing because I’m not ready”; “I really like you and losing you is not what I want”; etc. He’s been flipping and flopping for months, but at the end of February after he was a real jerk selling me out for an event we were supposed to go to, I went no contact for 4 days – he came running back with apologies and even said we should give being in a relationship a shot – it was his idea. Over a month went by seemingly normal and I was being patient with him. Last week, he called and things seemed fine, until I asked when we could see each other. He said he needed to talk to me about that and said, “I really like you and I wanted this work so bad and I tried hard to find the feeling I’m looking for. You are everything I could want. I care about you and we are good together. I’m scared to end up with the wrong person again like I did with my ex of 10 years. I’ve been looking for things about you and reasons why this can’t work and I can’t find one thing wrong. I’m just looking for a feeling and I’m not even sure it exists or what it’s supposed to feel like, maybe it’s just in the movies, but I’m not feeling it with us. I could be making a huge mistake and I want to be your friend. I just don’t have an overwhelming desire that we need to be together. We always have fun together and I really do like you, but I don’t want to string you along – it’s not fair to you.” I then asked if it was timing or he’s just not that into me and he said “maybe a little of both.” I said, “so you know for fact you’ll never want to be with me?” and he replied with, “no, it just doesn’t feel right right now.” I proceeded to cry for an hour and half in which he stayed on the phone talking to me. I made the mistake of texting him a few times in the last few days and he has responded to all of them quickly, but I think I made him angry because I got angry. I apologized and have not said anything else. Is there a shot in hell he’ll realize he made a mistake and come back or is there no hope at all for my situation? Thank you.

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    There is some great advice here – not going chasing is one of the biggest ways to make your ex miss you and want you back I think. Playing it cool, just being detached, will make him realise how much he wants you back. The problem is, there will always be cases where whatever you do it will never work, because he simply doesn’t ever want you back. Have to accept that!

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    My ex and I broke up 4 months ago. We dated for about 2.5 years and had a great relationship. We rarely fought, trusted each other with everything, and had the most amazing times together. We are both in college and I was transferring to a new school and did not know what I want so I broke up with him. He begged to get me back all summer and I just was not ready to enter back into a relationship. We saw each other in August at a party and he told me that he could not see me for 4 years and still feel the same and that he loved me more than anything in the world. We went home from the party together and the next day we were both leaving for school. He told me the next day that he was too hurt from what had happened and that he could not look at me the same. He told me he fought for me for 3 months and ive only been fighting for him for a week. We continued to text for about a week and then I told him it was just too hard to be “friends.” I wrote him a letter explaining myself and my love for him about 3 weeks later and he replied that I was always going to be his best friend and that this made his day however sorry that he did not feel the same and did not know what he wanted. I have not contacted him since the letter which has been about a month. He goes to school with my friend and I know he has been trying to hook up with new girls and find someone to replace me. He finally said to her this weekend that he knows what true love is and is realizing that these girls he has been hooking up with aren’t going to give him what he wants and deserves. I still really want to get back together, I just do not know how to approach the situation. When we first broke up, I was trying to find other people to replace him too but realized how special our relationship was. I do not know if the same is happening for him or if he’s just saying that the next person he finds he at least knows what true love is. He always said how we wanted to be with me forever and was so loyal that I do not know if he is actually over me.

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    After 3 years of push and pull, he broke off with me 3 months ago. He always said he had too many issues and couldn’t commit, yet he always came back knowing I love him and that I was NOT prepared to be a Friend with benefits. We would be so good together and had awesome times when it was good, but when it was bad it was bad. We NEVER argued or had any other problems except for him not committing. We would be so happy, then he would get scared and next thing I was being dumped again. After he broke off 3 months ago he reached out after 2 weeks and pitched up at my house after I tried to do NC. To my own fault – I folded and ran back into his arms and hos bed. But soon after we were together (had sex) – he would retract, go silent and just dump me soe more. It happened on 3 occasions after. Then the last time – 2 weeks after we spend a lovely evening, he went quiet and I got frustrated and was nasty -tod him he was being a dick. We didnt speak for a week, then when I called him to ask if we can see each other because I wanted to end this hell… he txt me thatnothing I could say, do or explain will matter, he had moved on and met someone. So suddenly he has sorted out all his issues keeping him from committing to me. He is apparently very much in love and claim that she is the woman he is going to marry. He has been married twice – same as I have. She is still getting divorced, and they have spent every weekend together.

    I sent him a letter asking his forgiveness and forgiving him for everything, Then I wished him well and blocked him everywhere.

    I need the time to heal. But I cant stop missing him and thinking about him. I realize it sound counter-active, but I do have to wonder….. what will he think and feel if he see’s I am completely gone out of his life and had blocked him? And very childish too, but does he think of me or miss me? And what will his reaction be when I unblock him and feel strong enough to face him again on social media, and open doors of communication – if he would still be interested?
    Is this a rebound he is in? Will he come back? Or will I never see him again? Especially after I had blocked him? I know that the hurt he has put me through is not worth wanting him back in my life. That I am better off without him….. i do love him.

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