Today we’re going to be specifically talking about how to connect with your ex on an emotional level and how to get your ex to talk to you again after no contact.
In order to really understand how to do this, you need to understand why your ex is not talking to you right now.
The reason why your ex is not talking to you right now is because of something called emotional reactance.
I’m not going to go in depth about what emotional reactance is because I’ve done that in other articles but basically, emotional reactance is your ex being resistant to connecting with you because they are afraid that you have a hidden agenda or an ulterior motive.
Your ex might fear that the only reason you’re contacting them or trying to talk to them is just so that you can get back together with them.
Yes, you might want to get back together with your ex— but as long as you don’t show you actually care about their experience— then they’re going to fight tooth and nail to resist you every step of the way.
In order to understand how to get your ex to talk to you after no contact, you need to be conscious of their emotional reactance to interacting with you.
You have to be mindful of your exe’s fear, anxiety and emotional resistance towards interacting with you.
The best way to get your ex to talk to you again after no contact is to start by interacting with them in a casual sort of way.
Oftentimes, a lot of people will reach out or try to contact their ex in an intense way where they might send one of those, long tear-stained letters where they essentially say something like:
“Hey, I just want you know that I really love you and I’ve never stopped loving you and I would never give up trying to get back together with you and I would you know wait until the end of days for you to love me again.”
And, I totally understand where you’re coming from when you write something like that or when you send your ex something intense like that.
However, when your ex receives something like that, they think something along these lines:
“Whoa! What is going on here? I am not ready for this. This is way too much, way too fast.”
The best thing for you to do is simply just start out light and interact with your ex in a very casual, lighthearted way. The purpose is to really gauge where your ex is at on an emotional level.
Is your ex really closed off to you because their level of emotional reactance is extremely high?
Are they open to talking to you but maybe a little bit hesitant?
Or is your ex totally open and ready to talk to you without any reservation?
It could be anywhere in between.
Once you actually know where they are on this scale of totally emotionally reactive to not emotionally reactive, then you can meet your ex where they’re at right now.
Maybe your ex is still a little bit closed off, so you might approach them in a lighthearted way.
Then, you can slowly start to unwind and open them up to an emotional interaction from that point.
Or, if your ex is already open to talking to you then you can meet them in that emotional place right away.
That’s how you start to talk to your ex after no contact all over again.
Want to learn more about how to get your ex to talk to you after no contact?
Next, I’ll send your free copy of 5 Unconscious Signs Your Ex Still Wants You (Hint: C.A.P.E.T.) and customized tips, strategies and advice to not only get your ex to talk to you again, but to rekindle your relationship and get back together.