This article is going to be a continuation on a series that we’re going through on what your ex is thinking and what is going on in their mind and in their heart in the process of you interacting with them and you communicating with them.
Today I’m going to talk about what it means if your ex says, “Maybe in the future” to getting back together with you.
Maybe you’re interacting with your ex and you float out the idea of possibly getting back together.
Or maybe your ex comes out of the blue and says, “maybe at some point in the future we could get back together” or “Maybe in the future we could give this relationship another try.”
What exactly does it mean when your ex suggests you might get back together in the future and where is this coming from?
In order to answer this question, you have to understand that we have this continuum of points in the 5 stages of getting back together.
I’ve talked about the 5 stages of getting back together with your ex in other articles and on our website.
What this really means is that your ex is moving through an emotional process as they go from being very closed off to interacting with you, to slowly opening up and eventually, seeing a future with you again.
Maybe that means getting back together, maybe that means dating each other again or whatever.
If your ex says maybe to getting back together with you, it means is that you’re in the early, early stages of getting back together.
Your ex is not totally walled off against you but you’re not over there at the very “end of the rainbow” at what I call the new beginnings stage of getting back together where your ex is very eager to get back together.
You’re in the middle ground between getting back together and them completely walling you out.
In the middle ground, your ex is having a tug-of-war back and forth with their emotions.
Part of them wants to interact with you, be with you, spend time with you and get back together with you.
But there’s another part of them that wants to pull away from you.
There’s a part of them that remembers all the pain, baggage, emotional history and drama that happened before, during, and after your breakup, right?
They remember all the fights, all the screaming and yelling, the crying and whatever else happened, right?
There’s a duality and back and forth between these two emotional forces in your ex.
If your ex says, “maybe in the future” it means that they are enjoying the quality of the connection that you’re having right now.
They’re remembering the good times.
They are enjoying the connection that the two of you were having in this moment as well.
The two of you are connecting right now.
But there’s still that footprint, memory, and lingering after effect of the poor emotional experience that led up to the breakup.
They remember all the arguments that happened before, during, and after the breakup, as well as all of the other things that didn’t feel good.
What’s happening now is these two forces are pulling back and forth inside your ex.
There’s part of your ex that says:
“Yes. Yes, let’s, let’s get together, let’s be close again.”
But there’s another part of them that says:
“Oh, wait. Last time that happened, I got burned really bad, I want to keep this a little bit distant.”
So they tell you, “Maybe in the future.”
That way, they don’t have to decide right now and put their heart on the line.
What you should do at this point if you want to get back together with your ex is you understand that they’re coming from a place of confusion and duality.
What you need to do is you need to shift the focus of the interaction away from being relationship focused.
Oftentimes, when it comes to getting back together with an ex, we are very relationship focused.
We want to lock them down and have the conversation about getting back together.
We want to have the conversation about being exclusive again.
We want to make it official.
We want to log into Facebook and update our relationship status from ‘single’ or ‘it’s complicated’ to ‘in a relationship.’
Instead of being relationship focused (because that can scare your ex away), what you want to do is you want to stay connection focused.
You don’t want to keep their focus on these big decisions if they’re hesitant, if they’re not sold on the idea of the two of you getting back together at this point.
Instead, you want to focus on the quality of the connection between you and your ex.
As long as the connection feels good, your ex is going to continue to want to spend time with you.
And as long as they continue to spend time with you and the connection feels good, they’re going to spend more and more and more time with you.
The more time they spend with you, the more of a relational history and emotional foundation the two of you will have of closeness, bonding and connection that will bring the two of you together.
Over time, this will cause them to feel much more comfortable saying yes to getting back together with you in the future.
To learn more about how to stay connection focused and how to help your ex feel more comfortable interacting with you so that you can build that solid foundation of emotional connection that will eventually lead the two of you back together, here’s what I’d like you to do.
Head on over to my website and fill out the quick quiz to get your free copy of 5 Unconscious Signs Your Ex Still Wants You (Hint: C.A.P.E.T.).
Next, watch your email inbox because I’ll send over customized advice, tips, and strategies that will help you to start making a more meaningful emotional connection with your ex so you can finally get back together and live happily ever after.