What It Means When Your Ex Says You Are Not Compatible (Is It Over?)

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In this series I’ve been explaining what your ex is thinking, what’s driving their behavior, what’s driving their thoughts and what’s causing your ex to say what they say to you during the process of getting back together.

Today, we’re going to talk about what it means if your ex says that the two of you are not compatible.

What does it mean to be not compatible?

What exactly do you need to do moving forward if your goal is to get back together with your ex and your ex says you are not compatible?

First of all, understand that there are two main times when your ex says you are not compatible. Number one is during the actual breakup itself, right?

So, if you’re sitting down with your ex, they’re talking to you, they’re saying, “Hey, the two of us are just not compatible. We should break up,” right?

What does it mean when your ex says you are not compatible during their breakup speech?

That means that your ex sees there’s a lot of friction between the two of you. There are a lot of in congruencies. The two of you want different things. You have different values.

Maybe they want to travel the world for a year and you want to settle down and put down roots or vice versa— or do something else entirely.

There is some sort of tension that is pulling the two of you apart and causing a lot of friction, stress, arguments, and maybe a lot of hurt feelings between the two of you.

That is what it means if your ex says you are not compatible at the time of your breakup. If that is the case, you want to really demonstrate to your ex that the two you can actually be compatible.

You need to look at what exactly your ex says is incompatible about the two of you and you want to say (to yourself):

“Is it possible to actually overcome this incompatibility?”

“Is it possible that we can have a great relationship where we can both get our needs met?”

If the answer to that is yes, then really demonstrate to your ex that the two you actually do want the same things, that the two of you actually have similar values, that the two of you actually can move in tandem parallel to each other in life.

This will start to show your ex that the two of you actually can have a new chance together.

I used the word “show” there intentionally.

Oftentimes, people will tell their ex that they’ve changed. They try telling their ex that things are going to be different.

But your ex is not going to put their faith in your words alone.

Your ex needs to actually see you demonstrate that there is some sort of real, tangible change happening. They are not going to want to walk back into the same relationship that they walked out of in the first place.

So if your ex says that you are incompatible, show them and demonstrate that the two of you are compatible. That will give them the confidence to want to come back to you, assuming that the two of you have a good, a good strong emotional connection.

The second reason why your ex might say that the two of you are incompatible is when maybe the two of you are interacting with one another after the breakup.

Maybe you are spending time with one another, texting back and forth, calling each other on the phone, who knows, right?

Your ex might say out of the blue, “We are not incompatible.”

Oftentimes, what that means is they might be having a moment where they’re enjoying interacting with you, right?

Maybe the two of you are out on a nice date or something like that together. Maybe you are having a nice conversation on the phone or over text message and it starts to feel good, right?

What happens is your ex still doesn’t have enough of a vision that the two of you actually can come together and want the same things in life and have similar values.

At this point it’s important to realize that you have to really demonstrate to your ex in a more concrete way that the two of you actually are compatible and have the same values and want the same things out of life.

Your ex still doesn’t get that the two of you really have a shared future together. You need to put in a little bit more effort to make this unmistakably clear that the two of you do have shared values and you want the same things moving forward.

Of course, this can’t just be a smoke and mirrors kind of thing that you just say in order to rope your ex back into the same relationship that they walked out of. This compatibility has to be something real and substantial if you want to get back together with your ex long-term.

If you just want to pull the wool over your exe’s eyes, dupe them and have even worse hurt feelings— then go ahead and lie and make things up.

But if you actually want to have a thriving, successful long-term relationship then what you should be doing is you should actually be you know looking at your own life and saying things like:

“Hey, can we actually be compatible?”

“Can we actually walk on the same path in life together?”

“Do we share the same values?”

“Do we want the same things?”

If you actually are compatible with your ex, then really show and demonstrate your ex that they made a mistake and the two of you actually are compatible.

Don’t tell your ex about it.

Instead, you have to show your ex you are compatible. That will show them that they are not walking back into the same relationship that they walked out of in the first place.

to learn more about how to show your ex real, substantial changes then go ahead and visit my website here.

Once you get there, fill out the quick quiz and I’ll send over your free report, 5 Unconscious Signs Your Ex Still Wants You (Hint: C.A.P.E.T.).

You’ll learn more about how to have a deep, meaningful emotional connection with your ex and advanced relational skills that show your ex things are fundamentally different (and better) between you.

Don’t miss out on those incredible moments where the two of you are so close that the time just melts away.

Click here now to get started.

Clay Andrews

About Clay Andrews

Clay Andrews and Mika Terao bring their client’s relationships back from the brink.

Get their free report, 5 Unconscious Signs Your Ex Still Wants You (Hint: C.A.P.E.T.).

If you are an action-taker who wants to get your ex back, Clay and Mika will show you everything you need to know to have a deeper and more profound connection with your ex, so that you both can have a second shot at lasting love (even if your situation feels hopeless). Find out more here now.

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