“My Ex Said We Will NEVER Get Back Together. Do They Really Mean It?”

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Hey there, this is Clay and this is Relationship Inner Game.

Now, this is a continuation in my series on what your ex is thinking, what is going on between your ex’s ears that is driving them to behave the way that they behave and say the things that they say after the breakup.

Today, we’re going to talk about what it means if your ex says you will never get back together.

In order to understand what your ex is saying about the breakup, it’s important to understand the distinction between context and content.

The content that your ex is saying is, “We will never get back together.”

Those are the words that are coming out of your ex’s mouth or the things that they’re texting when they’re sending off to you or the email that they’re typing. You get the idea.

The context that your ex is saying is coming from an emotional place, right?

Your ex is not some sort of stiff robot that is just saying, “We will never get back together” and what they say is always one way and engraved in concrete. 

When your ex says, “we will never get back together” it comes from an emotional place, right?

If your ex says that the two of you will never get back together, it’s probably because they’re very frustrated, angry, hurt from what did or didn’t happen between the two of you during the breakup and all of the history and baggage between you.

If your ex says that you will never get back together, understand that it is actually not the content that you want to be paying attention to but the emotional context underneath that, which is that your ex is experiencing a very high degree of resistance towards interacting with you, being in a relationship with you, and connecting with you.

The important thing to know is that our emotions shift and change all the time.

If your ex’s emotions shift from being frustrated towards enjoying being together with you then the words that are coming out of their mouth will start to shift along with their emotions.

Emotions are the predictor of where your ex’s stance on your future together will be.

So if your ex is frustrated and angry at you and they say, “We’ll never get back together again.”

If that frustration shifts and changes (the context) into something else such as having great interactions with you or missing you and remembering the good times, then suddenly, the words that are coming out of your ex’s mouth (the content) will absolutely change.

So don’t think that it’s an absolutely final sort of thing if your ex says that they will never get back together with you. It’s just a reflection of their current emotional state. By shifting that emotional state, you can actually get them to say different things and get them to change their mind and their opinion.

First of all, if your ex is saying stuff like, “we will never get back together” to you, it is probably because their emotional state is very, very, very, very, very far over here when it comes to our five stages that your ex emotionally goes through on the journey of getting back together.

Your ex is essentially having a very high level of an emotional reactance toward you. I’m not going explain what that is right now but you can just think of it as emotional resistance towards interacting with you.

And if your ex has a very high degree of this emotional reactance then that’s what’s causing them to maybe not respond to you or after you know several attempts at making contact with them, they might respond back with:

“We’re never getting back together.”

I don’t have feelings for you anymore.”

“Just give up on us.”

Move on.”

“You should date other people.”

…and other things like that.

You want to shift this emotional context by focusing on having high-quality emotional interactions with your ex.

You might be wondering, “What if my ex is standoffish, how can I possibly get through to them and how can I make them want me back?”

There are a couple of things that absolutely can help you connect with your ex, such as shifting to being connection-focused and away from being relationship-focused.

If you’re very focused on trying to save the relationship instead of having high-quality emotional connections with your ex, then that can absolutely cause your ex to have a higher level of emotional resistance and be very closed off to you.

Or if your interactions with them are very heavy and full of baggage like all of the common stuff that people do after breakups like begging, pleading, and apologizing profusely, then that can cause your ex to be much more closed off towards you.

But… as your ex starts to move through the five stages of getting back together, they will start to open up, soften and be much more receptive to you.

This is going to be a function of the quality of the interactions that you have with your ex. This is going to happen as the emotional context between you starts to shift.

And, as your emotional context starts to shift, what’s going to happen is your ex is going to be more and more open to the idea of interacting with you, spending time with you and to possibly even getting back together with you.

So, if you ex says that you will never get back together then don’t think if there’s any sort of necessary finality to it. Your exe can absolutely change their mind about the breakup depending on their emotional state.

To get help when it comes to shifting your ex’s emotional state through these five stages of getting back together, go visit my website here.

Once you fill out the quick quiz, I’ll send your free report, 5 Unconscious Signs Your Ex Still Wants You (Hint: C.A.P.E.T.).

Next, I’ll send customized tips, advice, and strategies that will help you create a better quality connection with your ex so you can make your ex willing to connect with you and eventually get back together with you.

Thousands of people have filled out that quiz over the years. We have helped a lot of them get back together and create amazing relationships with the people that they used to call their exes.

Click here to get started now.

Clay Andrews

About Clay Andrews

Clay Andrews and Mika Terao bring their client’s relationships back from the brink.

Get their free report, 5 Unconscious Signs Your Ex Still Wants You (Hint: C.A.P.E.T.).

If you are an action-taker who wants to get your ex back, Clay and Mika will show you everything you need to know to have a deeper and more profound connection with your ex, so that you both can have a second shot at lasting love (even if your situation feels hopeless). Find out more here now.

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