Relationships end for all kinds of reasons. Sometimes breakups are for the best and other times, not so much.
If there’s one good thing to come out of any breakup it’s the opportunity to not only evaluate your relationship but also to see how it can be improved.
If you’ve done some serious thinking and believe that the best thing you can do right now is to win your ex back then keep reading because I want to share exactly what to text your ex.
For those of you who don’t me, I’m Amy North, a relationship coach from west coast of Canada and author of The Devotion System, a program I’ve designed to help women around the world find and lock down the love they want and deserve.
Today, I want to share with you the types of texts you can send your ex-boyfriend to get him back. Now, chances are you’ve heard about the no contact period by this point. But for those of you who haven’t, I’ll quickly explain what no contact entails.
The no contact period is 30 days during which you cut off all communication with your ex.
That means no texting, no calling, no messaging him online, showing up at his house, the works. It’s also important that you don’t silently stalk his Facebook or Instagram and avoid keeping tabs on his every move.
Of course, there will be situations where cutting off communication with your ex boyfriend is impossible. For instance, if you work together or have children, but in those scenarios, you want to keep contact to an absolute minimum and avoid talking about anything other than the responsibilities you share.
During the no contact period, you’re going to want to focus on yourself. This means taking up new hobbies, spending time with friends and family, just doing the things that make you happy.
Doing no contact is important for a couple of reasons.
First, no contact will help distract you from wanting to text your ex (or get in touch) which will do wonders for winning him back.
And second, it will make him miss you. Here’s why.
The thing is, there’s a good chance that your ex expects you to go crawling back to him begging for another chance to save your relationship. When you do the opposite, it will surprise him and even make him wonder why you haven’t reached out and what you’re so busy doing.
In other words, he’ll be missing you. This is where the second benefit comes in. When your ex’s curiosity gets the best of him, he’s going to check in on you. Maybe this means calling or texting. Ignore both of these if he does. Or perhaps, he’ll check out your Facebook page or ask mutual friends about you.
When you keep yourself busy and surround yourself with those you love, your ex will see that you’re not sitting around heartbroken about the breakup. Instead, he’ll realize what a fun, full life you have. And believe me, he’ll want to be a part of it again.
Of course, there are many tricks and tips I could share for winning your ex back through strategies like the no contact period on social sites like Facebook but for today, let’s just stick to what to text your ex boyfriend.
Keep in mind that before you send any of the messages I’m about to share with you though that you make sure you have let at least a month of no contact pass. Got it? Lovely.
Now, let’s talk about what to text your ex.
To keep things as simple as possible, I’ve come with 3 types of text messages you can send your ex to make him miss you and want you back.
To make it even easier, I’ve decided to call these the triple R text which will be reminder, remember, and reminisce.
1. The Reminder Text
Let’s start with the first R, Reminder.
Since it has been sometime since you and your ex were in contact, you’re going to want to warm him up to the idea of hearing from you again.
The best way to do so is by sending him short, thoughtful messages that don’t ask for a response.
For instance, if your ex is really into art and you know there’s a new exhibit coming to town then you could mention that or if he’s really into a particular sports team or activity then use those as your kick starter.
When you mention one of his interests, be sure it’s one that you have something relevant to remind him of.
For example, let’s say he’s a huge Radiohead fan. You can text him something along the lines of:
“Hey, I saw Radiohead is going on tour this summer. I thought you’d want to know because I know how much you’ve been wanting to see them live. Hope all is well.”
“Hey, I just want to let you know that Parks Canada is giving away free discovery passes for the year to celebrate the country’s 150th birthday. I know how much you love camping so I thought I’d let you know. Hope all is well.”
Again, these text messages are thoughtful and you don’t ask for anything in return. They are simply reminders to let your ex know that even though you haven’t been reaching out to him, he still crosses your mind from time to time.
Of course, it can be tough to get your ex to think about you positively especially if your relationship ended on a sour note. That said, these reminder text messages can be your best bet for making that switch in getting on his good side again.
If you’re interested in learning more ways to make your ex think about you positively then I highly suggest that you visit my site and watch the free video presentation.
2. The Remember Text
Moving on to the next R text message to send your ex, and it’s remember text.
Unlike in the reminder text message, this is the kind of message that’s going to ask for a response.
The goal here is to do one thing:
Remind your ex of a good experience you shared.
It sounds pretty straightforward, there is actually more to it than you think. The key with this type of text to your ex is to be subtle.
As much as you may think that texting your ex completely out of the blue to remind of a great night you spent together could do you good, you don’t want to do that. At least not now and not so bluntly. Again, you want to be subtle here.
Start by thinking of a memory you and your ex experienced.
Maybe it’s a road trip you went on together or perhaps a nice anniversary dinner you shared, whatever you do choose, just be sure to pick a memory that will stand out and stir up emotion in your ex.
Next, you’re going to want to reference that memory by asking a question about it.
For example, if on your road trip, you stumbled across a hidden beach or while away one weekend, you visited a great diner, then those are the things you’re going to ask him about.
In order for this to work, your ex needs to genuinely believe that you don’t already have the answer you are looking for.
Again, you want to ask about a very specific, one-of-a-kind experience. If you ask him the name of the restaurant the two of you used to eat at weekly then he probably expects you to already know what it’s called. Or he may even think you’re not very bright if you don’t.
So, now that you have a memory in mind, you’re going to want to text him a remember text. An example could be something like:
“Hey, _____. Remember that beach we discovered on our road trip? What was it called? I’m hoping to go back this weekend but I don’t know the name of it. Hope all is well.”
“Hey, remember that little Italian restaurant we went to for our 2-year anniversary? What was the name of it again? I’m hoping to go there tonight but I can’t think of what it’s called. Hope all is well.”
As you’ll see in both of those examples, you’re asking your ex to remember something special you shared together and creating the opportunity for him to text you back.
Better yet, you’re also going to get him wondering who you’re going there with. Is it a friend? Could it be another guy? Who knows?
So to summarize, a remember text to your ex is asking him to recall a memory you shared together and setting him up for a response. If he does reply to your message, answer with a simple, “Thanks!”
3. The Reminisce Text
The third R text for getting your ex back is the reminisce text.
Even though this kind of message doesn’t necessarily ask for a reply, you may want to hold off in sending it until you’ve already reached out to your ex at least a couple of times.
Since reminisce text messages are extremely emotional and powerful, chances are, sending one is going to cause a reaction, which again is why it’s good to wait until you’ve already been in touch with your ex at least a couple of times before sending one of these.
When it does come time to send a reminisce text, the secret is to think of a sensual experience you shared in as much detail as possible. Maybe it’s a passionate make-out session you had in the rain or perhaps a night you spent in each other’s arms in front of a fire.
There’s no right or wrong memory here as long as it’s one that’s arousing or will get his mind racing. When you send this text to your ex, start it off with:
“I was just thinking about the time we…”
And go from there.
I’ll say it again because I know how crucial it is for this kind of text message to be successful.
Do not leave out any details unless they’re negative.
For instance, if you spent an amazing weekend at a cottage together but got into an argument about directions, then yes, leave that out and focus on the positive. When done correctly, this kind of message will make your ex not only miss you but he will also start to question if breaking up is such a good idea.
Well, that’s about all for today. If you have any questions about what I’ve covered here or text messages of your own you’d like to share then please do so in the comment section below.
If you want your ex boyfriend back, then I highly encourage you to watch this video I made for you.
Learn about some of my best psychological techniques and more about what to text your ex to make him want to come running back to you again.
Until next time ladies, take care and good luck.