A reader asks how to manifest your ex girlfriend back using the law of attraction when she is in contact but blows you off.
Been in contact with SP (specific person) who’s my ex girlfriend. She constantly blows me off and puts meeting her friends (who she literally barely knows) over trying to work things out with me and spend time with me.
Currently we are in a “let’s work it out and try” stage but not officially back together as she’s not in love with me. I constantly get so upset because for 2 weeks now I’ve just been blown off sitting on the sidelines as a backdrop to hand out with then she gets bored.
What the heck can I do to get my SP back?
I’m not only sad but I’m getting really angry at my ex girlfriend now.
I’m like, “you LITERALLY said you’d see me tonight, it’s 8pm and you’re going for dinner with ur friend wtf?”
She’s all like, “yeah idk when I’ll be home.”
I feel so worthless. I’ve been trying to feel worthy again but I can’t. 3D reality keeps kicking me in the nuts. I hate myself for not being able to manifest my SP back.
I don’t understand because everyday she’s done this I haven’t been needy. She’s kept me waiting until 3-4am till I fall asleep and I don’t say a word. The next morning I wake up and say, “Good morning baby. Did u have fun?” I wasn’t reacting.
I never give her pressure. I always say that if you wanna see me then let me know. But now it’s gotten to a point where she makes a plan and stands me up. What the hell?
If I say anything or fight with her, she threatens to leave me altogether or threatens to block me and gets angry at me to the paint where I go all the way back to square 1.
I’m really, really upset and now my mental diet’s ruined because I’m crying. I feel so used and discarded and made second best.
Please help me get her back because I’m freaking out again and I honestly can’t live like this. I try to be happy. I listen to self love meditations yet nothing good is reflected back in my 3D reality. I believe in the law of attraction, I have faith and yet I get the opposite.
How does one get to a place of certainty during manifesting their ex back where they know for sure their manifestation is going to happen? Because I’ve tried to do that in the past and have been disappointed.
Let me address the first part of your question about getting your ex girlfriend back and then I’ll talk about how to create a feeling of certainty when you are manifesting.
I’m going to say something that on the surface may sound harsh but it’s not intended that way at all. I can hear the pain in your question. I honor that and I’ve been there before.
Pretend you are someone else. Totally, completely not you.
In that new state, go read your question about how to manifest your ex girlfriend back to yourself.
Do you sound like someone you willingly want to hang out with?
Does “pressure” seem irresistible to you?
Is it fun and flirty for you to hang out with people who get all worked up when they aren’t getting what they want?
Would you want someone to hold their feelings over your head and consider the way you’re treating them as make-or-break, “I can’t take this anymore” level of life seriousness?
Is your ex girlfriend treating you in a way a self-respecting person who already had a great relationship would move TOWARD or AWAY from?
I’d venture to say no to all of the above.
It freezes *all* the sexy to hang out with someone who is this miserable and self-hating, EVEN IF that resentment is right below the surface and never expressed in words. It comes out in other ways like reduced generosity and weird temper tantrums.
In your case, you’re trying to directly confront your ex girlfriend into being around you.
And, she’s responding by disrespecting you completely.
You’re making it a habit of waiting around for her until 3-4am and then sometimes confront her about not seeing you. That IS the definition of pressure. She’s reacting to who you are not any given thing you’re doing.
Also, what your ex girlfriend is doing is something I don’t really care about only to the extent it shows what your mental environment is like.
You whining about what your ex girlfriend is doing to you while continuing to engage in it is total masochism.
The anger is you upset with yourself for allowing this treatment and projecting it onto her. Then you chase after her and passive aggressively accept this treatment– except that anger is right there, simmering below the surface.
The self respecting thing to do when anyone stands you up is to treat it as their loss and find something else to do.
Then, if they choose to reach out to you in the future– you get to decide whether or not you want to hear them out.
You would NOT wake up in the morning the next day, text your ex girlfriend something sweet and pretend nothing happened.
There’s a world of difference between pretending nothing happened and choosing how you respond to someone, no matter whether you’re practicing the law of attraction, can recite Neville Goddard back verbatim or specialize in reading tea leaves.
The results you get in your external world aren’t because of speaking magic words, it’s the self concept and insecurity behind your words.
If James Bond says:
“If you want to see me then let me know.”
Then winks and looks at the woman like he wants to burn her clothes off with his mouth— CERTAIN that OF COURSE she wants to see him, what result do you think he’s getting?
She’s probably going to say yes.
If you say the same thing like you have been to your ex girlfriend and expect rejection, I want to toss you in the dumpster outside my window because of how badly it freezes the sexy.
Like, I’m physically cringing now at the thought of anyone saying that to me.
The reason people talk on about self love to manifest your ex back is not because self love sounds super fun on the surface (it doesn’t.. at least not to me in the beginning).
You have to “get” WHY self love is attractive.
Here’s what loving yourself would do for you in this situation with manifesting your ex girlfriend back.
When you did see her, you would genuinely say to yourself, “oh cool!! It was so fun to hang out with her.”
Then, if your ex girlfriend happened to stand you up, you would think something like, “well that sucked of her. Her loss. I’m not going to worry about it or let it ruin my night.”
After a few minutes of being bummed out, you would probably move on and go do something fun.
Making yourself number one reduces all this desperation about whether you successfully manifest your ex girlfriend back to zero.
The reason you’re having trouble manifesting your ex back isn’t because you aren’t staying positive enough, it’s that your external world is mirroring your negative self-concept back to you.
Since your self concept is that you’re small and unworthy, you’re creating all kinds of examples to reinforce that. When someone puts their self-concept in their relationship’s hands, the relationship will reflect just how badly they’ve lost themself.
If you have the most interesting person in the world with you all the time (you), other people are to be experienced and enjoyed. Not to be tortured with your “needs” and expectations.
You could really love someone else by loving yourself first. Then your affection would spill over to them instead of becoming something brittle that you hold over both of your heads.
Instead of torturing yourself with trying to change someone who isn’t treating you well, you would easily transform that relationship by requiring they treat you better or you would find someone else who meets YOUR standards.
Now let’s discuss how to create a feeling of certainty when you’re using the law of attraction or Neville Goddard’s work to manifest something you want.
How to create a feeling of certainty while you manifest your ex girlfriend back.
As far as creating a feeling of certainty or being-ness about your manifestation coming to you, I think to some extent that’s what people are all working on when they are manifesting an ex back or using the law of attraction to bring anything into their life.
All of this thought work is meant as a way to help you become who you want to be so that you can match up to the life you think you want.
In my opinion, the tricky part of manifesting anything and maintaining it long term is that your self concept has to fit with the situation you want, before you can successfully maintain what you manifest.
Here’s an example. Say you decide you want to be hired as a fire chief.
You don’t have any idea how to even be a fireman but nonetheless, you march over to the job interview and tell them you want the job.
They are a little confused. How could you do this job without the beingness and knowing that getting the job of a fire chief would imply?
We would both agree it would be dangerous and negligent to hire you. You could actually cause your team to get killed.
They send you away.
One version of you gives up and says, “well, it’s over. I got rejected from being a fire chief because of discrimination/dislike/social norms/my hair color/ahem SOMETHING.”
But that isn’t true right? You were rejected because you didn’t fit the consciousness of the position you want to fill.
Another version of you says, “who do I have to be to get this job?”
You go home and brainstorm what being a fire chief implies you would know and who you would be.
So you go and genuinely learn all of those things. Your brain, life and body are ready to fight fires and make sure your crew stay alive. You work on your body and your self confidence until you’re ready.
“Whatever it takes,” you say to yourself as you lug bags of sand around your back yard.
Now it doesn’t seem so far fetched that you would get hired as a fire chief.
It’s the same with self concept around attracting someone into your life. It’s a sticking point with using law of attraction, Neville Goddard and new thought methods to want to manifest your way to the end of the game. And I get it. Sometimes I fall for it too.
This example isn’t perfect but the point is to explain that instead of looking at the fire department (your SP) and being appalled that they won’t “hire” you, believe yourself into being someone irresistible.
Jame’s Bond’s confidence isn’t actually a bad avatar to copy if you’re a man interested in attracting women. I would suggest less shooting and no jumping and dodging but it works as a vague starting point for confidence.
This example DOES NOT work for emotional availability, nor am I suggesting you should marry this weird analogy I have going on.
To create a feeling of certainty while you manifest something using the law of attraction, try playing pretend like you did when you were a kid. Watch movies and think about the characters. Don’t take the ideas from the movies, take the mindsets and mental models from the acting.
Once you get an idea of how it would feel to have what you want to manifest, that’s the consciousness to work on maintaining.
I hope that helps.