Today, we’re going to talk about how long you should be doing no contact to get your ex back.
Again, this really does depend on which type of no contact you’re doing, passive no contact, active no contact or “reverse psychology, “let’s play mind games no contact” or, “heal from the breakup no contact” since there are all different types of no contact.
I’m going to move forward assuming that we’re talking about active no contact because that’s what I teach.
So how long should you be doing active no contact?
The main thing is that you shouldn’t be focusing on a specific number of days, a week, two weeks, three weeks, a month, three months, five months, six months or anything like that.
What you should really be thinking about are the quality of the interactions you believe that you would be able to have with your ex.
Often, it is highly recommended that somebody go into no contact of any type because frankly, they are not having positive interactions with their ex.
Every time they pick up the phone and call their ex, they have an argument or their ex walls them out.
Or, every time they interact with their ex, they have worse and worse interactions with their ex that are cause their ex to distance themselves from them emotionally.
What we’re doing during active no contact is creating a new context where you can develop the ability to interact with your ex in a way that actually brings you closer together.
You don’t want to white-knuckle it through the no contact period and hope that just because some magic amount of days have passed, that you’re suddenly going to be able to have a great impact on your ex.
Make sure that you are doing something to actually have a great positive impact on your ex when the no contact period is over. That should really determine the length of no contact.
If you’re making progress in developing your advanced relational skills and you’re able to have stronger interactions with people that bring the two of you deeper that allow for more connection, then you’re making great progress.
That could be a sign that it has been long enough for you to get out of no contact. Especially if you also factor in the other reasons that you might do no contact, such as personal healing from the breakup and allowing enough time for your ex’s reactance toward you to die down.
As a general rule of thumb, I recommend that you do active no contact for about 30 days, about one month.
This is by no means a strict rule that everyone must follow. But generally 30 days of no contact is a good starting point.
Some people might need more time but very, very few people need less time.
You shouldn’t really focus on the amount of time you do active no contact as much as on the quality of the interactions that you’re able to have. So, that’s how long you should be doing no contact for and that’s how you should be thinking about it.
To learn more about how to long to do no contact and find out exactly how to create an amazing emotional connection with your ex, head over to my website and fill out the quick quiz here.
Once you do that, I’ll send over your free report, 5 Unconscious Signs Your Ex Still Wants You (Hint: C.A.P.E.T.) as well as customized tips, advice and strategies to help you rekindle the love you share.
Don’t miss out on your opportunity to rekindle your relationship.