4 Common Obstacles That Keep You From Getting Back Together

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Today I want to talk about what to do to get back together with your ex.

Although it might seem as if getting back together is a really simple process of sending out a couple text messages and then suddenly they’re in love with you again, there’s actually a whole lot more going on beneath the surface when it comes to breakups and getting back together with your ex.

Which is why oftentimes, those text message programs and reverse psychology programs don’t work very well. This is also why people even think getting back together with your ex is impossible.

I can tell you from helping people get back together with their exes since 2009 that is absolutely not impossible to repair your relationship and get back together if you understand what is going on.

There are several very common problems people have when it comes to getting back together with their ex.

If you look below the surface, all of them are related to the quality of the emotional connection that you are experiencing with your ex.

This is why the quality of the emotional connection is the most important thing that you can focus on if you want to get back together with your ex.

Emotional connection with your ex is much more important than texting, whether or not they unfriended you on Facebook, if they’re in a rebound relationship or if they live far away.

It’s more important than if the two of you have been broken up for X number of months or years.

The quality of the emotional connection between the two of you is literally the only thing that you should be paying attention to if you want to get back together with your ex.

With that being said, there are some common problems that people experience when they are getting back together.

1. Apologizing excessively and trying to get your ex to forgive you.

For example, people obsess over apologizing to their ex and getting their ex to forgive them for something that they did wrong.

When it comes to apologizing to your ex and getting your ex to forgive you for things that you’ve done wrong, it’s important to know that you have to really understand your ex’s emotional world.

You have to connect to your ex’s emotional world so that you can imagine the experience your ex might be having when you’re apologizing to them.

If you give them some sort of blanket apology like:

“Hey, sorry I cheated on you.”

“Sorry I lied to you.”

“Sorry I said one thing and did another.”

That’s not going to come across very well, right?

It’s not just a matter of thinking to yourself, “well I said I’m sorry.” It’s not like when you were two years old and you just say you’re sorry and then that’s it.

You have to actually feel a sense of remorse and sorrow.

In order to do that, you need to really demonstrate to your ex that you know you had a negative impact on them and reflect back to them what you think that impact may have been.

You may not necessarily be 100 percent accurate, but the fact that you are feeling into their experience and having an empathic response to them will go a long way towards helping them to let go of the pain you caused.

Once your ex has been able to forgive you and let go of the pain and what happened, it’s only then that you have the opportunity to rebuild a quality emotional connection.

You can’t really build a quality emotional connection until your ex is able to let go of things that they believe that you have done that led up to the breakup, right?

You really only need to apologize to your ex if you did something wrong. If you didn’t do anything wrong, no need to apologize.

At that point, you can start to build an emotional connection with your ex. That takes me to the next mistake people make when they are trying to get back together.

2. Ignoring your emotional connection.

Depending on where ex’s emotional connection with you is, you may notice different things.

Maybe your ex is a little bit stubborn, won’t commit to you, or you both just aren’t connecting on an emotional level.

Maybe you’re having flat, dull conversations that don’t really go anywhere and you’re only talking about TV shows, the weather, sports or work.

These problems getting back together with your ex all lie in the realm of emotional connection.

For example, if your ex is stubborn, it’s because their emotional state is not being met and you’re not guiding them towards feeling more comfortable, relaxed and at ease around you.

Instead, maybe you’re attached to a certain outcome (like getting back together), walking on eggshells and feeling anxious because you’re trying to get your ex to perceive you in a certain way.

In which case, that can cause them to be a little bit more stubborn and resistant towards you. Your ex will have more apprehension about interacting with you.

If your ex is not willing to commit to you, it could be for the same reasons. It could also be because they are being confronted with the realistic challenge of having to make some one-way decisions before they can get back together with you.

Maybe your ex is not confident enough in your emotional connection to make those one-way decisions yet.

Maybe they have to break up with their rebound partner or tell all of their friends and family the two of you are getting back together again.

Maybe getting back together with you might mean moving back across the country to the place where you live, or any number of other things that might be one-way, big moves that would be hard for them to reverse.

3. Attacking your exe’s rebound relationship.

Speaking of rebound relationships, if your ex is in a relationship with somebody else, it can often feel like you need to attack the other person, point your lasers at them and drag them through the mud or tear them apart in one way or another.

All that’s going to do is it’s going to make you look bad, so don’t do that.

Instead, remember what I said at the beginning.

The ONLY thing that you should be paying attention to is the quality of the emotional connection between you and your ex.

You do not need to pay attention to your ex’s rebound relationship. You do not need to tarnish that person’s name or reputation, or anything like that.

All you need to do is focus on having high-quality interactions with your ex, higher quality than they are able to get from their rebound partner.

Trust me, if you are studying the advanced relational skills and 5 stages of getting back together that I teach this will be a cake-walk for you.

So few people actually have the ability to tune into this stuff that you will be able to stand head and shoulders above the person that your ex is currently seeing.

Of course, you’ll also be leveraging a certain psychological strategy called, “the decoy effect.” I probably won’t talk about that now because it takes a little bit of explanation.

But, you’ll be leveraging that to your advantage when it comes to really outshining your ex’s rebound relationship and putting yourself in a position to get back together with your ex.

Again, all of this boils down to having high-quality emotional connections with your ex.

4.  Not empathizing with your ex.

If you can put yourself in your exe’s shoes, if you can see the world from your ex’s perspective, you will never run out of things to talk about.

You will never run out of very deep emotional conversations to have.

And.. you will always have the ability to connect with them on a deeper level and have a better emotional connection than 99% of the rest of the people in the world.

When you have that kind of emotional connection, you can bet your ex will absolutely seriously consider getting back together with you.

Here’s how you can get started now:

First, click here to visit my website and take your quick quiz.

Next, I’ll send your free report, 5 Unconscious Signs Your Ex Still Wants You (Hint: C.A.P.E.T.) as well as customized advice, tips and strategies for exactly how you can start getting back together with your ex even if they are in a rebound relationship.

Don’t miss out on the short window you have right now to get back together.

Click here now to get started.

Clay Andrews

About Clay Andrews

Clay Andrews and Mika Terao bring their client’s relationships back from the brink.

Get their free report, 5 Unconscious Signs Your Ex Still Wants You (Hint: C.A.P.E.T.).

If you are an action-taker who wants to get your ex back, Clay and Mika will show you everything you need to know to have a deeper and more profound connection with your ex, so that you both can have a second shot at lasting love (even if your situation feels hopeless). Find out more here now.

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