Now, this part of my series on very specific things that people experience with their exes when trying to get back together that cause a lot of frustration and difficulty.
Today, we’re going to be talking about what it means when your ex starts dating someone new right after your breakup.
Often, a lot of people see a situation where their ex is dating someone new and they say to themselves, “My ex is dating somebody new, I just need to bow out and to respect their new relationship.”
And that’s fine. If you truly believe that your ex is better off then that is absolutely fine and that’s absolutely respectable.
If your ex is dating someone new right away here is something important to think about:
If you truly believe that you and your ex are better off together than apart and know you could form a great relationship that would benefit them more than their rebound relationship or dating someone else— then don’t you at least owe them the opportunity to choose to have that better relationship and outcome with you?
I’m not saying you need to nefariously go out there and destroy your exe’s relationship or break up their new marriage or anything like that.
But if you truly believe that your ex would be better off with you then I think that you at least owe them the opportunity to make that choice for themselves rather than to make that choice for them by just giving them no choice, right?
If on the other hand you don’t think they would be better off with you, if you don’t think that they would be happier with you, and they will be worse off being in a relationship with you then yes, maybe you should back off and let them enjoy their new relationship.
But, when your ex is dating somebody new right after your breakup, you need to understand that there is probably something psychological going on there that’s very common with rebound relationships called displacement.
Oftentimes, when people get into a relationship directly after breaking up or ending a previous relationship, they tend to speed that new relationship up very quickly so that it sort of looks like the previous relationship.
They might elevate that new relationship to levels of commitment that were similar to the levels of commitment that maybe they had with you.
For example, maybe it took the two of you six months or a year to move in together but they are moving in together with their new partner after only a couple of weeks.
What’s going on when your ex moves on this quickly?
Is it because their new love is true and it means something more than yours did?
No, not really.
It’s simply that they’re just displacing onto the new relationship the sense of commitment and closeness that they had with you.
Their new relationship looks just like the relationship with they had with you because they have displaced their feelings onto the new relationship.
In that respect, they aren’t really even having a new relationship with this new person.
They’re really having a relationship with you but you’re not in the relationship. They’re actually having a relationship with a different person but it’s really a relationship with you.
How is that for weird, by the way?
When it comes to your ex being in a rebound relationship and your ex is dating somebody new right away, I want you to know that there is a very powerful strategy that you can actually use in order to get back together with your ex and this strategy is called the decoy effect.
The human brain actually has a very difficult time discerning between two very different things.
For example, is it better for me to date this woman or is it better for me to date this other woman?
I don’t know.
They’re probably very different women, right?
When it comes to situations like this, I could choose one or the other. Who knows which one I’m going to choose, right?
Say there was a third option inserted that was very similar to one of the other two options.
Then, my mind starts to shift away from the completely different option and suddenly I start to compare the two similar things.
That’s where using the decoy effect to your advantage comes into play.
If you can differentiate yourself now from the version of yourself who your ex broke up with, then they are going to see and start to focus in on the difference between the current you versus the version of you who they broke up with—and exclude their rebound partner from consideration.
This is important and why it’s absolutely critical to demonstrate to your ex that they would not be walking back into the same relationship that they walked out of in the first place if they were to get back together with you.
You have to make a real, substantial meaningful difference in the dynamic between the two of you if you are going to actually demonstrate to your ex and show them that they are not walking back into the same relationship that they walked out of in the first place.
This is what really inspires a sense of trust and causes them to want to get back together with you.
So if your ex is in a rebound relationship or when your ex starts dating someone new, what you want to do is you want to leverage the decoy effect so that they can absolutely see the benefits to getting back together with you.
Because of this psychological phenomenon called the decoy effect, they will be more likely choose you than their rebound partner.
To learn more about how to get back together with your ex even if they are dating somebody new, click here to visit my website and take the quick quiz.
Next, I’ll send over your free report, 5 Unconscious Signs Your Ex Still Wants You (Hint: C.A.P.E.T.).
Then, watch your inbox for your customized tips, strategies and advice to get back together and create the amazing relationship you’ve always wanted.