Lance says that his ex girlfriend keeps dating other people but constantly randomly tells him that there’s a chance that “we might get back together.” She can’t seem to figure out what she wants.
It sounds to me like your ex is probably very confused.
I know a lot of other folks out there might rush in and say that she’s using you and she’s stringing you along or something like that.
Unless you have some reason to believe that she has the capacity to do that, I’m inclined to really just say that she’s probably just confused.
Most people don’t want to be the jerk that says, “Yeah. I’ve got like 10 guys waiting on me. And you know, as soon as like one of them falls through, I can just have my pick of the other nine, right?”
Most people don’t think that way unless they have massive sociopathic tendencies or something like that.
Most people are just trying to go through life, meet somebody nice, have a good relationship and enjoy themselves.
When most people do things that might seem like they might have bad intentions, what I’ve discovered is that they’re actually just genuinely confused.
Your ex girlfriend probably just doesn’t know what she wants. She’s probably equally as confused as you are.
In fact, she’s probably also carrying around a lot of guilt about that as well too because she doesn’t want to think of herself as the kind of person that’s stringing you along and using you. She probably doesn’t want that.
Again, I don’t know her, but as long as she’s not some sort of sociopath or something like that, she’s probably confused.
You don’t have to accept that kind of behavior either if that’s not something that you don’t want to deal with, you don’t have to accept it. You can say to your ex girlfriend,
“I totally get that you’re confused. At the same time, all of this back and forth is really hard on me. If you are still trying to figure out what you want, that’s totally cool. But I just can’t be a part of this. I need to take my life in a different direction.”
And that’s totally OK. That’s totally fine. But you have to look within yourself and ask, “Is this something that I’m willing to put up with for the time being or not?” And then make your choice moving forward.
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