Today I’m going to be telling you 5 things that your ex is tired of hearing from you. If you keep saying these things, you will drive your ex away for good.
1. “I’ve changed.”
The first thing your ex is tired of hearing is that you’ve changed. Your ex doesn’t want to hear that you’ve changed. Your ex wants to see that you’ve changed.
It’s not enough to talk good talk about how you’re a new person, the breakup has opened your eyes to some new way of being or something. You have to actually walk the walk.
Your ex isn’t going to buy any of that until you demonstrate change over an extended period of time so that they know it’s not an act.
You’re going to have to actually demonstrate change.
That’s what your ex really wants. They don’t want to hear you talk about how you’ve changed. When you went through the breakup, you probably already told them you’ve changed a whole bunch of times and clearly that hasn’t worked. You have to stop doing that. You have to actually be the change. That’s what’s going to actually leave an impact and make your ex want you back.
2. “We should get back together.”
The second thing your ex is tired of hearing from you is that the two of you should get back together.
Right now, your ex probably doesn’t want to get back together with you. When you try to convince them otherwise, it’s only going to turn them off. You want to connect with them on an emotional level first and that is what’s going to inspire them to want to get back together with you.
This is not convincing them, not making an intellectual argument for it, not explaining all the great reasons behind why it would make total sense for the two of you to get back together and be in a relationship together.
You need to have an emotional connection with one another. That’s what’s going to really inspire your ex to want to get back together with you.
The most important thing is the emotional connection between you.
Never talk about how you think it’s a great idea for you to get back together. Simply create a strong emotional connection with your ex and that’s going to go way further in getting back together.
The third thing that your ex is tired of hearing from you is that you just want to understand why they broke up with you.
“Why? Why did you leave me?”
“Why did we have to break up?”
“Why will you not give me another chance?”
I don’t know about you but I was a big “WHYYY??” person when I went through my big breakup back in the day. I guess I just thought that if I could understand WHY then there would be something that I could focus on and chip away at if I knew the reason why she left.
Asking the reason why you broke up completely ignores where your ex is at NOW which is that they don’t want to be in a relationship with you right now.
And, that’s not to say that they will always feel that way and that’s not to say that you can’t do anything about it. Again, if you focus on the emotional connection between you and your ex, you can actually make big strides in getting back together.
If you’re focused on the logical reason for the breakup then you’re completely bypassing the emotional reason. And the emotional reason is way, way, way, way, way more important than the logical reason.
Again, you should be focusing on the emotional connection, not the logical reason for the breakup. So don’t be asking your ex “why.” Don’t keep trying to decode the “why?” puzzle. That’s not going to help you at all.
4. “I want to meet up one last time” (cue dramatic sobs).
The fourth thing that your ex really wants to stop hearing from you is that you just want to meet up one last time for closure or something like that.
Right now your ex has gone away from your relationship.
They have walked away. They have their closure. They don’t believe that they need to interact with you or meet up or anything like that.
The only thing that’s going to change that is if your ex believes there will to be something positive that comes out of meeting up OR you might be able to guilt them into it.
But, guilting your ex into meeting up with you is NOT going to give either of you a great experience in the long run. It’s just going to make them feel bad and regret seeing you.
If you can have a good positive interaction where the two of you can be open, honest, genuine and authentic with one another then that’s going to inspire them to actually want to see you and get back together with you.
Demonstrating real change like I mentioned earlier is what’s going to inspire them to actually want to get together for that coffee, catch-up date or walk in the park, whatever you decide.
So, don’t beg them to meet up with you one last time or guilt trip them.
Instead, inspire them to want to meet with you by embodying change and focusing on that emotional connection like we talked about. That’s what’s really important and I want you to take that away from here.
5. “I will NEVER stop fighting for us.”
The last thing that your ex is tired of hearing from you is any kind of bold declaration like, “I will never stop fighting for us and trying to get back together with you.”
I know that might occur to you as something that seems very romantic, committed, and loving but for them, it isn’t so. It’s going to come across as creepy, possessive, clingy and needy.
They’re going to realize there’s an even greater emotional disconnect between you and them than they initially thought, and that’s going to just widen that gap that’s already there between the two of you.
So, don’t be making bold declarations about how you’re going to never stop fighting for them or anything like that. That’s not what’s going to bring them back in your life.
What will help you get back together is to focus on the your emotional connection and AND demonstrate change.
Focus on the emotional connection.
Demonstrate you have really changed.
That’s all you got to do. Really, that is all you’ve got to do when it comes to getting back together with your ex.
To learn more about what you can do to avoid driving your ex away and get back together— no matter where you are in this process– here’s what you can do to get my help.
Head on over to my website and get your free report which explains the 5 Unconscious Signs Your Ex Still Wants You (Hint: C.A.P.E.T.).
I will also email you advice and tips to help you make real progress in creating that emotional connection and getting back together.