Today, I’m going to be continue my series about texting your ex and specifically if your ex won’t respond, there is probably something going on.
Remember, your ex is having this whole journey through reactance that we talked about in the five stages of getting back together. So keep that in mind and that definitely could explain why your ex won’t respond to your texts.
All of that aside, there is one thing that people often do that actually discourages their ex from wanting to respond to them.
This is through the questions that they ask and the way that they text their ex and reach out to their ex.
First of all, some people don’t ask a question when they text their ex, right?
So if your ex gets some message from you and that message is like, “Look what I’m doing!” or something like that, your ex doesn’t know that you want them to respond, right? They might think your text is just an update.
If you don’t ask them a question they might not know that you want them to respond. It’s kind of simple, but you need to ask your a question when you text them.
Second, you don’t want to make a big ask when it comes to texting your ex.
One of the main mistakes that people often make is a that they try to get their ex to get back together with them through a text message or through one text message rather.
They might send the wall of text type of message to their ex. Or, at the end of their wall of text they might directly ask their ex questions like:
“Will you give me another chance?”
“Will we get back together?”
“Can you ever see yourself dating me in the future?”
These are very BIG asks for your ex.
They might not know the answer to that question right now because they’re going through their own emotional journey in the process of getting back together with you.
They’re going through the stages from the wall of reactance, to test drive, to riding the dragon, to crisis point, and eventually to the new beginnings stage.
They might not know if they want to get back together with you so they might not respond because they don’t know how to answer or they don’t want to make you feel bad by saying no.
What you need to do is meet your ex where they’re at and speak to their emotional level.
This will help them feel a little bit more comfortable responding to your texts.
Also, get in the habit of asking smaller questions when you text your ex.
Instead of texting your ex something like:
“Will you get back together with me?”
“Will you go out on a romantic date with me?”
“Will you consider leaving your rebound so that we can give our relationship another shot?”
Try texting your ex smaller questions like:
“What’s the last thing that made you smile?”
“Are you reading any good books right now?”
“What’s the news about that event you told me that was coming up?”
Something as simple as that could make the difference between your ex not responding to you at all and actually wanting to engage with you on an emotional level. So keep that in mind when it comes to interacting with your ex.
Of course, this is all based around the idea of meeting your ex where they’re at emotionally and building a solid foundation of emotional connection between the two of you.
To become sort a master at developing an emotional connection between you and your ex (or anybody else) here’s what to do:
Head over to my website here and fill out the short, 30-second quiz which lets me know more details about your breakup.
Once you finish that, I’ll send over your free report, 5 Unconscious Signs Your Ex Still Wants You (Hint: C.A.P.E.T.) and customized advice, tips and strategies to help you get back together and build a strong emotional foundation.