This is third in a series that I have created on how to connect with your ex on a deeper level. Specifically, how to act around your ex.
Whenever somebody asks me, “how should I act around my ex?”
My instinctive reaction is to tell them, “don’t act around your ex.”
The reason that I say that is because often people try to put on this act around their ex to try and seem so cool when they’re actually nervous as hell or freaking out inside.
They want to come across as the Alpha male or the person who doesn’t care at all.
Really, the most important thing for you to do is NOT put on an act around your ex.
The most important thing for you to do is to be completely genuine and authentic and forthright with you know whatever your experience is.
And… there are a lot of ways that people can absolutely screw this up.
For example, begging and pleading and promising you’ll change and saying things like, “I’ll do anything to get back together with you.”
Although that IS vulnerable, it’s not exactly a kind of vulnerability that is really desirable to display to someone else because that vulnerability is using the other person as a means to an end for you to get what you want.
For example, say I want to feel happy and I think I need you to get back together with me in order to feel happy.
If I come to you and say, “I want you to get back together with me so that I can feel happy again,” that’s not going to feel good to the other person.
That’s going to make your ex want to pull away because they don’t think that I actually care about THEIR wellbeing.
They would think that I’m just using them as a means to an end to feel better about myself.
That is NOT the kind of vulnerability and transparency that you want to have with your ex.
Instead, what you want to do is think about what it is you actually want and care about.
For example, a lot of people will say, “Well, I just want to get back together with my ex.”
The real truth is that you probably don’t just want to be back together in a relationship with your ex.
You probably don’t just want to go on to Facebook and update your relationship status to, “In a Relationship” with the person you used to call your ex.
You probably actually want to have that connection, closeness, romance, passion, spark, and fire that the two of you had when you were together.
If that’s what you really want, then go for that and don’t obsess over ‘the relationship’ that you think is going to get you that.
I can tell you, there are a lot of people that are in relationships right now that don’t have passion. They don’t have desire, drive, romance, and all of these other things that maybe you think you might get if you were back together with your ex.
Don’t go after the fake prize of trying to be “in a relationship” with your ex.
Go after what you really want.
When you interact with your ex, be open, honest and forthright about that.
There are all kinds of things that people might worry about when it comes to running into their ex in public.
In cases like that, don’t worry about putting on an act around your ex.
Don’t worry about trying to seem cool or anything weird like that because it’s going to come across as contrived.
Many years ago, I ran into my ex at the grocery store.
My friends and I were going to leave for a camping trip the next day and I had gone to the grocery store that night to pick up some random things that we needed for the trip like hot dogs and stuff like marshmallows for s’mores.
It was late at night, so there was only one register open at the grocery store. I was going around this corner and boom!
There was my ex and she didn’t see me but I saw her.
I said to myself, “There she is. I got to get out of here.” So I got into the line to just buy the things I needed and get out of there.
As I was in line and the clerk was ringing up on my things, my ex gets in line behind me with her new fiancé.
We were just pretending not to notice each other.
By that point, she actually could see me and was aware of me and so it was just like this really awkward thing.
Then I just got in my car, left and went back home so that I could finish preparing for the camping trip.
She somehow got her fiancé to follow me home and it was totally weird.
Don’t try to act cool.
Don’t try to act like you didn’t see your ex.
Don’t try to pretend, “Oh, hi! I didn’t notice you were there.”
Don’t put on any kind of BS act like that.
Just be 100% open, honest, and forthright about how you actually feel in a good positive way without using your ex as a means to an end.
That is how you should act if you’re going to be around your ex— but don’t act.
Just be completely honest and open, and forthright about who you are and what your experience is.
To find out how to have a deeper, stronger, more powerful emotional connection with your ex, join me inside The Ex Solution Course.
Thousands of people have used this secret weapon to get back together and make their relationships even better than before the breakup.
Don’t miss your chance to make things right with the person you love.