5 Brutally Honest Reasons Why You Aren’t Attracting Men You Actually Want

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Today I want to discuss five brutally honest reasons why you are having a hard time attracting high-quality men. And, although these are brutally honest reasons, I’ll try very hard to be nice.

1. You have a bad attitude about men.

This doesn’t necessarily mean that there’s anything fundamentally wrong with you. It’s just that there might be something in your perspective towards men, relationships, or any number of things that could be causing you to actually repel high-quality men.

It shouldn’t come as a surprise that if you hate men then you would have a hard time actually attracting a quality, well-adjusted, emotionally stable man.

A lot of women— maybe because of some previous relationship or an ex, have a chip on their shoulder and not like men for any number of reasons.

They might think that men are pigs, and chauvinists, and terrible people. They might think men are always trying to cheat and get away with everything. And, if that’s really your opinion about all men, then you’re going to have a really hard time when it comes to having a high quality good relationship with a man.

A well-adjusted, quality man isn’t going to want to spend time with a woman who hates him, right? He’s going to go away. That leaves you with guys who want to spend time with women who hate them.

And, that’s most likely going to be a very weird and unusual dynamic that’s probably not going to be very enjoyable for you or him.

The other side of that coin is that maybe there’s part of your attitude where you feel a little bit more entitled than you should, right? Oftentimes in our culture, we tell women that they don’t have to do all of the work when it comes to a relationship. Or actually, they don’t have to do most of the work when it comes to a relationship.

You know for better or worse, our society has sort of decided that you know, the man has to approach you. He has to be entertaining, attractive and charming. He has to ask for your phone number and call you. Then he has to ask you out, take you on a date and pay for the date. He is supposed to be the one to to go in for the first kiss and initiate all of those things, on and on.

There’s a lot of pressure put on men. Oftentimes, a lot of women think all they have to do is just sit back and wait for the guys to come to them. And if the guy is you know, an undesirable, they can just you know, reject him, right? Reject him.

It’s that sort of entitlement that you don’t have to put in any work can often repel a lot of high quality men. High quality men don’t really have a scarcity of women in their life. They could go out and meet a nice woman without too much effort.

But if you’re just sitting back, looking for a reason to disqualify a guy without actually contributing anything to the dynamic like sharing your own personality, then it’s that entitlement mentality that can repel high quality men.

2. You’re not sharing your true self.

Now, the second reason that you might have a hard time attracting high quality men is because you’re holding yourself back, right?

This kind of builds off of that last point that I made. When it comes to interacting with guys, a lot of women don’t really show a lot of their true personality and genuine emotions about where they’re at in their lives.

They get on a date and say to the guy, “Oh, that’s nice,” “That’s cool,” “That’s good,” “What else is going on?” “Oh, that’s nice. That’s wonderful. I like that too.”

You don’t really get much of a sense of what she actually cares about because she’s just giving vague, non-descriptive answers when it comes to things.

She isn’t saying, “I think that’s really cool because I like the brush stroke pattern on that particular painting. In fact, I was reading the other day that artist pioneered that brush stroke technique…” Instead, you get the sense that she’s holding back and going with a super polite mentality when it comes to interacting with other people.

So don’t be afraid to open up. Don’t be afraid to share your thoughts. Don’t be afraid to share your feelings. Don’t be afraid to just be open and honest and real. Don’t think that you have to play this polite game, fall into this polite trap.

If you’re overly polite, you’re really just worried about not screwing up. That doesn’t help you actually do good things that are going to actually make a high quality guy think, “There’s something about her. I just feel so connected with her.” Right?

If you’re just like this Teflon woman and nothing can really stick to you, don’t be surprised if a high quality guy has a really hard time remembering you and if you don’t leave a very good lasting impression on him. So that is the second reason that you might be repelling high quality men.

3. You’re playing too many mind games.

The third reason you might be repelling high quality men is because you’re playing mind games like reverse psychology and playing hard to get, right?

Unfortunately, some women have been led to believe that you need to play games in order to attract a man or keep a man’s attention. For example, “men only care about the chase” or, “we all want we can’t have” “whoever cares the least controls the relationship.” It’s supposedly about using reverse psychology— if you tell a guy you’re not interested, he’ll chase after you forever.

Mind games might get somebody’s attention like a firework going off in the sky might. But ultimately, if you want to do more than just get his attention, you’re going to have to back it up with some real, high quality substance.

Unfortunately, mind games just don’t really bring the substance. They’re kind of a trick, a gimmick. Some sort of little tweak. You still have to have some clout to back that up which goes back to that whole personality thing that we were just talking about before. You have to be willing to be open, honest, vulnerable and really share things.

You can get a guy’s attention without mind games by simply being feminine.

Once you have his attention, you want to be able to captivate that attention through openness, connection, and your energetic level. So please, please, if you learn nothing else from this, just drop the mind games.

Men don’t need to chase a woman in order to want her.

You don’t have to play some sort of weird “hard to get” game. It’s not about reverse psychology. It’s not about whoever cares the least or anything like that. So if you get nothing else, just ditch the mind games. That is the third reason why you might be having a hard time attracting high quality men.

4. You aren’t particularly thrilled with your own life.

The fourth reason is because you just maybe you just don’t like your life.

And, a lot of people out there— both men and women— have lives they don’t really like. Maybe they don’t have a job that they particularly like. They don’t particularly like the place that they live in. They don’t particularly like their friends. But they’re hanging out with them anyway because, “we’ve known each other since high school” or whatever reason it might be.

If you genuinely don’t like your life and you’re looking for a relationship or a guy to come in and save you from your life that you don’t like and somehow make everything better, that is not a good place to start with.

First of all, a high quality man is not going to want to come in and prop up your failing life. I know I might be a little bit harsh but this is called brutally honest reasons why a man might not be attracted to you.

Anyway, a high quality guy isn’t going to want to prop up your life and be your life-preserver that gets tossed out to you as you’re thrashing and drowning in the ocean.

So, learn how to love your own life. If that means making some changes like changing careers, starting some new habits, dropping bad habits, changing the people that you interact with, picking up new hobbies and passions, then by all means, go ahead and do that.

In general, you’ll be a much happier person and you’ll probably draw high-quality men to you due to your natural magnetism.

5. You’re too focused on your physical appearance.

The fifth and final reason that we’ll be covering is that you focus too much on your looks and your body.

A lot of women think that men only care about sex and how hot a woman is.

Sure, when it comes to like the initial moment when somebody takes notice of you before they’ve met you– how you look and how you’re behaving does play a major part in a man’s attraction to you.

But, as soon as you get past, “Hi, how’s it going?” and you are actually talking to each other, you’re going to have to back your appearance up with something.

You can not just be hot. Being hot might get you a lot of attention but it’s not going to get you the great high quality man who’s going to want to stick around.

Keep in mind, great high quality men have a lot of options when it comes to women, right? If he has like 10 women in his life, and they’re all hot— and you happen to be hot— why would he choose you?

Do you have something else to offer besides just hotness?

Do you have a great personality?

Do you have something that you’re really passionate about in your life?

Do you have something else that you can offer besides just your physical meat suit, right?

Ultimately, you don’t want him to be relating to you as a physical slab of meat. You want him to be relating to you as a fully fleshed-out human being– at least– that’s what I’m going to go out on a limb and assume here. You want to be able to really back up any physical beauty you have with a great and amazing personality and a lot of other good things behind that too.

Again, a physical body is just one small component when it comes to attractiveness. Please do not use that as your only tool.

I hope this was not too brutally honest. To learn more about how to meet, date, and attract, and get commitment from a high quality man, please head on over to my website and fill out the quick quiz.

Next, I’ll send you customized tips, advice, and strategies to help you get the amazing relationship you have always dreamed of having.

What do you think? What are your opinions about all this? Leave a comment down below. And if you’re a high quality guy, what do you think? Did I miss something? Did I get it right? Discuss.

Clay Andrews

About Clay Andrews

Clay Andrews and Mika Terao bring their client’s relationships back from the brink.

Get their free report, 5 Unconscious Signs Your Ex Still Wants You (Hint: C.A.P.E.T.).

If you are an action-taker who wants to get your ex back, Clay and Mika will show you everything you need to know to have a deeper and more profound connection with your ex, so that you both can have a second shot at lasting love (even if your situation feels hopeless). Find out more here now.

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