So you’re dating this guy but something feels off. You can’t seem to pinpoint the problem but your gut is telling you he’s trouble. How can you know for sure?
Hey, ladies! My name is Amy North. I’m a dating coach and bestselling author of The Devotion System from Vancouver, BC. And today, I want to share with you seven red flags that you’re dating a toxic person.
Now, I know that dating the wrong guy can be a tough reality to face. But if you can relate to these signs I’m about to cover then it’s probably time to call it quits with your man.
As much as you may care about him, it’s important that you care about you more. Your personal well-being should always be the most important to you. So, let’s talk about red flags he’s toxic and could just be using you for sex or empty emotional fulfillment.
1. He is controlling.
When you hear the word “controlling” you probably think of some sort of stern dictator or psycho maniac. The truth is, not all controlling people work on fear and belittlement. This means that your partner could very well be manipulating you in a less obvious or even seemingly loving way.
For example, if you have self-esteem issues and he uses them against you by telling you that you’ll never do better than him, that’s a sure sign of a toxic relationship. Take a step back and realize that you deserve better.
2. He always blames you.
Whether it’s for you relationship problems, his own unhappiness, or the things that go wrong in his life. If your partner is constantly blaming you anytime something goes less than perfect, it’s because he’s a toxic person. If this happens, it’s important not to beat yourself up over it but rather realize that he’s blaming you to protect his own self-esteem.
In fact, it has been proven that the more insecure a person is, the more likely they are to blame others for their own issues. That said, this doesn’t justify you sticking around to help him feel better about himself.
Whether it’s a matter of not picking up the milk, him being late for work, or the state of your apartment, if he’s making you the root of all evil then find the courage to leave.
After all, it’s one thing to be open about your relationship issues but another if he’s always manipulating the situation and blaming you. Not being able to take responsibility for his role in your relationship is a big red flag.
3. His mood swings are unpredictable.
If one minute he seems content and the next he’s screaming at you, then there’s no doubt about it, you’re dating someone toxic. Hand-in-hand with my previous point, this kind of partner will likely try to make you feel bad for his outburst and may even put the blame on you.
If your boyfriend is a mix of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, then it’s a sure sign of unhealthy relationship and toxic partner.
4. He is dishonest.
Whether he is lying about where he has been or making up stories for no reason at all, a dishonest partner is a toxic partner.
Since relationships are built on trust, if you have to constantly pick and choose what to believe then it’s probably time to call it quits. After all, why would you want to stick around?
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5. He is condescending.
If any time you say something, he belittles your opinion or talks to you like a child then alarm bell should be ringing. Same goes for if any time you tell a story, he interrupts to correct you or argues your point.
A condescending partner is a toxic one. Unless you want to be treated as a less than instead of an equal, walk away. These kinds of guys are tough, if not impossible to change.
6. He doesn’t support your dreams, goals, and aspirations.
You apply to school and he says you’re too old to get a degree. You dream of backpacking through India but he thinks it’s a lame idea.
When you have dreams and goals, your partner should be encouraging them and watching you grow. If he only considers his own ambitions worthwhile then you’re in an unhealthy relationship.
Pay attention to these kinds of toxic comments. Chances are, they’ll make an appearance anytime something makes him feel insecure.
Regardless of his personal issues, if your man is uncomfortable with your successes, belittles your ambitions or downplays your achievements, then this isn’t a healthy relationship.
7. He chooses to pick fights instead of solve problems.
We’ve all been in an argument before, be it with a partner, a friend, a co-worker, or a parent. The thing with arguments is that in order to get past them, you have to be willing to maturely address the issue together. The keyword here being… maturely.
If you’re dating the kind of guy who uses arguments as a way to insult you or put you down, then you’ve got yourself a toxic man.
For instance, let’s say you get into an argument about a mess he has made. Instead of apologizing and dealing with the issues, he calls you a bitch or says you need to relax. This isn’t acceptable.
If your man treats every issue like an attack or tries to even the scoreboard by putting you down, it’s important to get out. This kind of emotional abuse isn’t worth sticking around for and believe me, there’s a guy out there who will want to talk out problems instead of call names.
Well then, there you have it, seven sure signs that you’re dating someone toxic.
Did you know that there is a state of desire more powerful than love?
To learn the stupidly simple technique that makes men obsess over you, head over to my website and watch the free presentation there now.
If you have any other red flag you would like to add or stories to share, please feel free to do so in the comments below.