Today, we’re going to be talking about five mistakes that make men pull away.
It’s one of those hot topics. I can’t stop coming up with these. If I’m going to show you the way into a man’s heart, you have to know how to not let him get away.
Back in the day, I knew what it was like to experience that special kind of intense rush you get when a new guy comes along. Well, for me, it was a new girl, not a new guy.
As I got older (I use that term very loosely), I gained a better perspective on things.
I realized it wasn’t entirely my fault that the relationship didn’t work out. We both played a part in what happened. I stopped taking it so hard and I learned from the experience instead.
I’ve observed that women generally don’t go through the experience in quite the same way the guys do though.
One thing, in particular, is this tendency for many women to look too far ahead in the future and create self-fulfilling prophecies.
These prophecies endanger their connection with a guy.
Again, I’m going to let you know some of the biggest mistakes women make and exactly what a lot of women say and do that drive men away faster than kryptonite does to Superman.
1. Crystal ball syndrome.
Let’s start with man repellant number one, which is crystal ball syndrome.
Here’s the situation my female clients often get into.
Things start off with the guy perfectly.
So perfectly in fact, that even a romantic comedy scriptwriter couldn’t have come up with something better than this.
But after the first few picture-perfect dates, the wheels in his head and her head start turning and she starts creating a bunch of movie-worthy scenarios.
Hey… the sky is the limit with your imagination, right?
When you get on this thought train, it really derails you out of the real world, out of the present moment and straight into the clouds.
I’m not saying it’s bad to feel optimistic about your evolving relationship but you have to draw the line somewhere.
Consider this dating advice for where to draw that line.
There’s a difference between thinking happy thoughts like:
“Where can this be going?”
“Boy, I can’t wait to meet his folks?”
“When is he going to ask me to move in?”
And having prophetic visions of your wedding theme, what your bridal dress is going to look like, picturing your house on the suburbs and the whole nine yards.
So watch out for that. Don’t stray too far from the present moment and leave your guy behind in the process.
2. Constantly needing his validation.
Man repellant number two is the constant need for validation.
Yes, there’s always an element of uncertainty in relationships.
Sometimes a guy can give mixed signals and make you wonder if he’s really is into you as you are into him.
That thought alone can drive anyone crazy and it’s obviously not a good feeling to have.
Trust me, I get it.
You want to relieve of the torment wondering if this guy is wasting your time or losing interest in you.
However, it’s still not a good idea to keep asking about the future of the relationship and where are things going, etcetera, etcetera.
For the average guy, having one of those “where is our relationship going” talks is not a lot of fun and it creates a lot of tension.
And… now to tell you that this desperation is palpable to him and is a good way to push men away.
Palpable, I love that word palpable.
We can feel it.
There’s nothing wrong with feeling that anxiety and hey, chances are he’s feeling it too.
The best way you can help both of you is by not running away from your fear while going through the process.
It’s anxiety that you can manage.
And more importantly, don’t let those feelings turn you into a needy chick who wonders, “does he love me” and requires reassurance from your partner all the time, right?
3. Analyzing your relationship with a fine-tooth comb.
Man repellent number three is going through the relationship with a fine tooth comb.
Now, this common relationship mistake is related to the first behavior because we are looking too far ahead into the future and jumping to conclusions without any solid evidence.
Some women are in a hurry to size up their guy and in an attempt to figure out if he really wants a relationship or if he’s just looking for a fling?
And it’s a valid question, of course.
But in your excitement, maybe you get into a bad habit of going through the tiniest of details in the relationship.
Every little thing he says or does or doesn’t do becomes a little bit of a clue.
And nothing kills the vibe faster than treating things like a CSI crime scene.
As a guy who’s been on the receiving end of this and helped women overcome this habit, I can tell you 110% that you should just accept your fears instead of acting on them.
It’s sexier to a guy when his partner understands men and is at peace with the fact that she is indeed good enough for him.
4. Counting your chickens before they hatch.
Man repellant number four is counting your chickens before they hatch.
A wise man once said that you don’t get the chick by smashing the egg.
Like I said, it’s a process.
Get a little Zen here.
Instead of standing in the way of it, step aside and let the relationship happen.
There’s something truly magical about a person who seems to understand you inside and out.
As wonderful as it is though, don’t let that be a reason for you to tell everyone that you’re a legitimate couple before he acknowledges it in no uncertain terms.
Look, if he’s the right guy for you, things will happen as they should. And if he’s not the right guy for you, they’ll still happen the way they should.
5. Making your relationship your whole entire world.
Man repellant number five is dropping off the face of the Earth in your own life.
Yikes! This dating mistake women make with men takes the cake.
I’ll be honest and tell you that nothing strokes a guy’s ego more than a woman who devotes a significant amount of her time to us.
It’s human nature, of course.
We’re flattered and it feels good when our woman makes us a priority in her life and wants to spend time together. But to become her only priority in life, that’s a bit scary.
No guy, not the sane ones at least are going to act like their partner didn’t have her own life before they met. He’s never going to expect you to toss all of your commitments out the window the second you start going out.
Eventually, that pressure… well… it makes us have to come up for air.
No matter how incredible the relationship is, it’s simply too much pressure to be your one and only everything.
If she’s persistent enough, he’s going to end up needing a permanent vacation from her and that’s not a cool thing.
Guys have a complex about catching women.
On one side of the coin, we love working hard for the satisfaction of our woman’s attention and affection. But on the flip side, we absolutely live for the sweet torture of knowing we can never have all of you.
And that’s the crucial ingredient that keeps any guy chasing after you.
I know it’s weird but that’s just how men are hardwired.
Besides, there’s nothing rational about attraction in dating anyway.
The bottom line is that emotions and desire work by different rules.
Don’t ever compromise your other priorities in life because those are the very things that fuel our interest and desire for you. If you give up this unique part of yourself, you’ll kill the mystery and push men away.
He’ll stop dead in his tracks and give up the hunt and chase to win you over.
I’m not about to let you become a victim of your own circumstances.
I want you to have the success you deserve.
A man’s connection style is probably the most significant factor in pulling him back to you and keeping him connected to you.
You have to a show a guy that you have a deep connection to him.
To do this, all you really need to know is his unique connection style.
Want pull him back and get his trust in your relationship back to where it once was?
You can cut through his defenses and make him open up his heart to you.