It’s not always clear whether a new guy you’re seeing really likes you or is actually head over heels IN LOVE with you. If you have a shy guy, often his actions are all you really have to go by.
Here are 12 strong signs he loves you or is at least strongly in “like” if your relationship has just started.
1. He will go out of his way not to screw up your relationship.
When a guy is falling in love with you, the risk of losing you becomes more important than whatever else he has going on.
He might drop contact with all other women, including his female friends, trying not to give you the wrong idea. This does not indicate that he’s become a shut-in, it’s a sign he is starting to fall for you. He will be deeply concerned about how you perceive him. He won’t fall of the face of the planet or let you wonder if he’s EVER going to call again.
A big sign he loves you is his investment in not hurting you or potentially messing up your relationship.
2. He contacts you first.
Guys fall in love in our absence. If he’s thinking about you, he’ll naturally be drawn to contacting you. On the reverse token, if he’s gone dark or you feel like you are always the one texting first, watch out.
3. He involves his friends.
Ever heard a guy gush about a new woman he’s seeing? If he’s falling for you, he’ll want his friends to meet you and they’ll know he’s seeing someone. In fact, they might already be sick of hearing about you. This is a good sign that he’s in love with you.
The fact that he won’t shut up about you is one of the biggest signs he loves you.
4. He wants you to meet his family.
In the long term, how you blend into his family is often an important consideration for a family-minded man. If he sees you sticking around long term, he’ll want you to meet them and vice versa. If he considers your relationship casual, he won’t get you anywhere near his family.
5. He willingly spends most of his free time with you.
Not only will he want to spend time with you, but it will be his idea. You won’t have to come up date ideas or ways to see him more, he will just naturally gravitate toward you. He will also try and monopolize your Friday and Saturday nights (i.e. date nights). Not only does he genuinely ant to see you, but he knows good and well that if he doesn’t book your time then, another guy could.
6. He shows concern.
Do you have a problem? He will try his hardest to help solve it. A guy who is falling in love with you will invest his time and energy into your happiness.
7. He values your input.
Guys don’t run their problems past people who they don’t respect and trust to help them solve the issue. If he carefully considers your input, this is a good sign he is in love with you.
8. That.. look of love.
Men in who are in love have a way that they look at you. Sometimes it’s hard to see it yourself, but when your friends meet him, they will either see that he has fallen for you or they won’t.
When he loves you, he will maintain eye contact longer, and look keep looking at you when you aren’t necessarily speaking to him. Think: lingering glances.
9. He only has eyes for you.
A guy who is falling for you will announce that he’s not seeing other people in hopes that you will also get off the market. He will cancel his online dating profile and put out old flames because he both won’t want to jeopardize things AND he will want you to himself.
You won’t get that icky feeling that he is dating other women at the same time as you. He will try and move your relationship toward exclusivity as well. It is normal for a guy who really likes you to want to take you off the market and ensure that his competition doesn’t do it first.
10. He brings up the future.
A guy who is smitten won’t have a problem talking about future plans that include you. Concert next month? Yes. His sister’s wedding next summer? You’re his date. If he’s just not that into you, it will be hard to get him to plan for anything past next Tuesday.
11. He goes out of his way to do things for you.
The guy who will move mountains to make you smile is a guy who has fallen for you hard.
True story: one time a guy who I had only been on 3 dates with drove a two hour round trip for the sole purpose of bringing me coconut water. He couldn’t stay at my house more than 15 minutes since he had to work, but he visited two different stores to find the specific kind I liked and showed up at my doorstep anyway. A guy who is falling in love with you will put in Herculean effort simply to make you smile.
12. The Final Sign He Loves You — He actually says the L word.
At the risk of putting this “yes, DUH” sign he loves you on this list, keep in mind that words are just that, words. Actions are always one of the biggest signs he likes you. The majority of men don’t say the “L” word lightly. However, there are a few who are pretty liberal with it.
You might be with a very quiet guy who shies away from flowery language but who deep down, can’t resist you. On the other side of the coin, you might be dating a casanova who won’t shut up about how great you are when he actually… makes it to a date with you.
CAUTION: These signs he loves you cannot be forced! You can’t go in there thinking “well you’re not doing X so that means you don’t love me.” Avoid! Don’t fall into this emotional trap! If things are going really well with your guy, cultivate a carefree attitude of happy enjoyment rather than serious over analysis. Enjoy the present moment.