How to Get a Boyfriend – 7 Steps to Your Dream Relationship

couple holding hands

Does it feel like everyone you know a member of a couple, and you are still the girl showing up alone to parties?  Have you been trying to pin down a guy to date for what seems like forever, with little to no success? Or have you been having experiences in romance that start off amazing but eventually fizzle out completely? Have you spent your nights and weekends agonizing over how to get a boyfriend with your best friends, but to no avail?

Every woman at some point in her romantic life has wondered and worried if she should just get 34 cats and just give up on dating.  Every woman can get the boyfriend of her dreams, but times have changed in the dating world.  If you want to know how to get a boyfriend all you need to do is follow some of these tips.

1. Self-love comes first.

If you don’t love you first, you can’t expect anyone else to either.  I feel like I have to beat this into women’s heads constantly.  We live in an age where low self-esteem is at epidemic levels.  Like I’ve said over and over, don’t gloss over the self-love portion of this article.  I put it first for a reason! Getting a boyfriend, and signaling to men that you are amazing is much easier when you believe it yourself.

2. Don’t expect perfection.

You aren’t perfect and it should be obvious that you can’t expect your ideal guy to be perfect either. Love is about loving someone with their flaws, not until their weaknesses show.  When your heart is prepared to put your own weaknesses out there and risk pain and heartache, you will be surprised at how attractive you become to men who won’t deal with women who are too busy seeking perfection and are more interested in having a good time with them.

3. Know what you want.

While you shouldn’t be going around searching for perfection in the male population, you aren’t going to meet the guy of your dreams if you don’t know what he “looks like” in terms of qualities and standards. Set a list of “non-negotiables” for your ideal boyfriend. Then when you are dating, you will be able to weed out incompatible men faster. Too many women today just settle on the first guy that will keep dating them, and they wind up abused, abandoned, and heartbroken as a result.

4. Stick to your standards.

Men find this incredibly attractive, at least boyfriend material men do. Once you meet the guy who meets your list of non-negotiables, stick to it.  When a man meets a woman who knows what she is worth and won’t settle for less, he wants to be with her…more.

5. Smile more.

And mean it.  We live in an angry, grumpy world.  So it makes sense that the people who seem the happiest, nicest, and most attractive to others are the ones who don’t feed into the angriness and grumpiness of the world. When you smile at men and mean it, they will be ten times more likely to notice you than if you just looked the other way. This tip also sends a message to men that you are easy to be with, you don’t sweat the small stuff, and that makes you prime girlfriend material.

6. Put yourself out there.

You aren’t going to meet him in the basement of your Mom’s house while you are bitching and complaining about not having a boyfriend. Put yourself in places (hint, not clubs or bars) that are more likely to have the kind of men that you are interested in.  This works best when you try something new that you would enjoy whether you meet someone or not.  Sign up for a cooking class, join a co-ed yoga group, taking a biking adventure course, whatever you imagine yourself doing with your future boyfriend, do it with yourself first and set the wheels of attraction in motion.

7. Check your baggage.

Too many women go through years and years of therapy to figure out that they just need to let…it…go. Everyone has baggage coming into a relationship, but if you go into one expecting him to carry yours, you will wind up single again.  Learn from your lessons and previous teachers in love, and then put those old files away, for good. You won’t have room in your heart for someone else if it’s full of old garbage you keep clinging to.

We live in a day and age of instant gratification, and this has taught women that getting a boyfriend is easy if she makes herself easy as well. But ask yourself, do you really want to be “easy”?  Easygoing, great.  But “easy”?

This idea leads to so much heartbreak because of the mistaken notion that a woman has to “achieve” to get someone in their life.  We’ve been taught that men respond to relationship effort in the same way that women do.  So we mistakenly try to achieve in the bedroom, achieve in the kitchen, achieve, achieve, achieve with men.  This is the wrong approach.  While this article lists some of the things that you can do to make yourself more marketable to men and make it easier to get a relationship, I’m not suggesting that you get a shovel and start doing all the work.  To borrow a cliché, men are hunters.  Let them hunt.

Figure out how to make yourself the kind of person you (and he) can fall in love with and this will help your dream relationship fall into place.

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