8 Ways To Battle Complacency And Boredom In Your Marriage


You and your spouse have been together for quite a while now. You’re happily married and in love but there’s one problem.

You’re bored and feeling complacent.

You may not know how these feelings started or where they came from but it’s likely that you’re feeling this way because you’re too content with your marriage. Fear not, there is a way to overcome these feelings and reignite the spark that you and your spouse once shared.

As a relationship coach and marriage expert, people complain, “my marriage is boring” all the time.

Usually it’s a case of couples relaxing after the honeymoon ends. While there’s nothing wrong with feeling comfortable around your spouse, feelings of complacency and boredom do arise if there isn’t enough excitement, discovery, challenge or motivation in your marriage. That’s why it’s so important to keep things interesting.

My name is Brad Browning. I’m author of the best-selling Mend The Marriage program. Today I’m going to share eight ways to battle feelings of boredom and marital complacency.

1. You get what you give.

If you want excitement in your relationship, you need to be exciting.

The best way to do this is by telling your spouse how you feel and making a pact to address the problem together. If you’ve already tried this and nothing has changed, then you may need to make some changes on your own.

Start by breaking some of your habits. If you’re used to coming home, throwing on your favorite sweatpants and eating dinner in front of the TV, then make a conscious effort to stop doing it. Instead, look your best and have dinner together at the table. Removing the TV from your meal will make space for conversation and a chance to spend some quality time together.

Try to treat every night like date night in some way. You don’t have to go all out but understand that putting an effort into wooing your spouse can make things feel like they did when you were still courting one another.

2. Make good conversation.

How long has it been since you and your partner really talked?

Sure, you may still asked how their day was or what they have planned for the weekend, but to avoid making your marriage feel like the same old song and dance, it’s important to keep the conversation original.

One way to do this is by acting as though you’re still getting to know your partner and talk like you did when you first got together.

By doing this, you’ll continue to learn about your partner and it’ll keep the flame alive. Remember to be patient with your spouse. They may not be a keen to talk as you are but a pleasant tone and a positive outlook will eventually get them to start chatting with you.

3. Cultivate romance.

To battle complacency and boredom in marriage it’s important to keep your romance and physical relationship in top notch shape.

Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you should settle for less intimacy or convince yourself that it’s normal for couples to become more distant over time.

Stirring up romance can be as easy as surprising your spouse with a candlelit dinner or breakfast in bed. It’s about taking the time to express your love and appreciation and at the same time to have some fun together.

It only takes a small gesture to show your spouse that you still love them. You know, simply offer to rub their shoulders after a long day at work or hold their hand while you’re walking. These things may seem like small actions but they speak volumes.

If the romance has been put aside because of personal insecurities, complimenting your spouse regularly will boost their confidence and it could also help them become more romantic and open. If you have any romantic tips or ideas that please share in the comments below.

4. Recreation.

One of the best ways to fight boredom is by being active together.

Find things that you and your spouse enjoy doing and then do them together. It could be a physical activity like biking or bowling, an evening stroll around the neighborhood or even just going to cooking classes together. Engaging in activities as a couple would not only get you moving and shake off the boredom but again, it will give you something to talk about and look forward to together.

For more ways to discover shared interests with your spouse, visit my website and watch the full length video presentation.

5. Intellectual stimulation.

This is often overlooked. Interacting with your partner on an intellectual level will keep you interested in one another.

You can read a book together and talk about the story and what you’ve learned. If reading isn’t your thing, try visiting a museum or watching a documentary. If you’re more of the hands-on type, challenge your spouse to a game of chess or take a language course together.

Keeping yourselves mentally stimulated is a great way to prevent boredom. These types of exercises can really break up your daily, mundane routine.

6. Laugh together.

Laughter is a powerful medicine, especially when it comes to boredom in any relationship.

Look for common ground with your partner when it comes to your comedic tastes. Whether it’s parody, slapstick, or dry humor, pick movies and shows that you’ll both enjoy.

If you want to skip the movie and keep the laughs, you can consider visiting a local comedy bar or stand-up event. To add in some personal flare, reminisce about some of the funny moments that you’ve shared together over the years.

Laughter is contagious and one of the best ways to bring passion back into the relationship.

7. Make travel plans.

If you’re feeling bored or complacent in your marriage, maybe it’s time to plan a vacation together.

Not only are vacations fun, but changing your location can also help change your outlook. In fact, many couples feel closest when traveling together especially when it’s somewhere neither had ever been before.

Without everyday distractions, it will give you time to focus entirely on each other and the experience you’re sharing.

If you think you’ll need at least a year to save for a vacation, think again. Vacations don’t have to be lavish, even a camping trip or day adventure in a nearby city can help get couples out of a relationship rot.

If you’re saving for a grand getaway, be sure to keep your marriage exciting along the way. Try a staycation and explore new restaurants and activities in your own city. These experiences will give you and your spouse something fresh to do and talk about. Why wait a year to spice up your relationship when you can start today?

8. Encourage personal development.

A big part of being a couple is encouraging each other to grow as individuals.

Supporting your spouse to chase their dreams and set goals will not only show them that you care about their well-being and personal endeavors. In turn, they’ll appreciate your support.

Doing this could mean making sacrifices and being understanding. For example, if your spouse needs to put in more time at the office but wants to enroll in an educational course, it could mean less time together.

However, your spouse will appreciate you supporting her ventures and want to share your experiences with you. This new project is going to excite them and make for new conversations and it could even help to reignite the spark in your marriage.

No matter how long you and your spouse have been together or how tough life can get, it’s important that you don’t lose the intimacy in your marriage or simply brush off the feeling of complacency.

One of the biggest marriage mistakes you can make is to assume your marriage will fix itself. You need to put in the extra work in nurturing to keep your marriage enjoyable for both you.

Is your marriage over?

Watch my video presentation now to learn 3 Secrets To Saving Your Marriage before it’s too late.

Brad Browning

About Brad Browning

Brad Browning is a relationship coach specializing in breakups and divorce. Based in beautiful Vancouver Canada, Brad has worked with thousands of men and women around the world, helping to reverse breakups, stop divorce, and mend broken relationships.

Brad is author of two best-selling online programs: The Ex Factor, which teaches readers how to get their ex back, and Mend the Marriage, which helps readers to revive a dying marriage. He also offers personal coaching to a limited number of clients, guiding them through the process of winning back an ex or rescuing a marriage from the brink of collapse.

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