Today, we’re going to be talking about what to say to get your ex back.
Now as you know, we’ve been going through the five stages of getting back together in this series.
Up until this point, we’ve talked about the first four stages of getting back together. I’ve talked about the law of reactance, test drive stage, riding the dragon, and the crisis point. I’ve gone over all of these and the theory of reactance so I’m not going to beat this to death.
If this is new to you, go back and read these articles before you continue on with this one so that it will make sense.
Here is what to say to your ex to get back together.
First of all, you MUST make sure that you are in the fifth stage of getting back together with your ex.
You have to be at this stage otherwise everything that I’m going to tell you will not work to get your ex back.
This WILL NOT work unless you are in the fifth stage of getting back together.
If your ex is not at the fifth stage of getting back together, which I call the New Beginnings stage, what I’m going to tell you will not work.
So, you’ve gone through the first four stages and you’ve really decreased your ex’s level of emotional reactance towards you. You’ve also increased their positive emotions toward you.
There’s almost no reactance left and there are very high levels of emotional connection because you’ve worked on the advanced relational skills I teach.
You’ve worked on connecting with your ex in a very substantial, meaningful way.
This is all great and good.
But at this point, you still might not be officially back together with your ex and because there could be some small, little concerns that are keeping the two of you apart.
For example, maybe your ex doesn’t really believe that this is the real you.
It seems too good to be true.
Maybe your ex is not sure if they can trust that if the two of you get back together that you’re not just going to slip back into the old habits and things that caused the breakup in the first place.
So what you want to do is– when you’re having a good interaction with them, spending time together, or when you’re out on a date, you want to say:
“Hey, I’ve noticed that it’s been really nice interacting with you and spending time with you over the past couple of weeks, months, (whatever). I was wondering if you’ve ever thought about getting back together with me.”
And they’ll probably say:
“Yeah. I sometimes think about that.”
Next, you say:
“Me too. I was wondering, would you like to give our relationship another shot?”
And at that point, your ex might bring up any kinds of hesitations or concerns or reasons not to get back together.
This probably won’t be anything major or dramatic because you’ve already gone through the other five stages of getting back together.
At this point you’re engaging in what I call a “Commitment Collaboration Exercise” or the “Commitment Collaboration” talk with your ex.
First, the two of you are going to agree that the two of you have been getting along pretty well with one another.
Second, you’re going to have a dialogue about how you can make things work in the long run.
This is all stuff that I lay out in my training but you do not want to do this prematurely. If you do this prematurely, it will backfire on you. I’ve seen this happen so many times.
This is what to say to your ex to get back together once you’re at the fifth stage of getting back together. Please do not do this unless you are certain you are at this stage.
To find out more about how to get to this point and overcome any obstacles and hurdles that might be standing in your way, then visit my website here and fill out the quick quiz.
Next, I’ll send over your free copy of 5 Unconscious Signs Your Ex Still Wants You (Hint: C.A.P.E.T.).
Then, watch your inbox for customized tips, strategies and advice for getting back together with your ex and creating an creating an amazing relationship.