Go back to part 2 here.
“What to do if the ex has suddenly stopped responding to all of my messages?”
There could be a lot of reasons why your ex stops responding to your messages.
Maybe your ex has decided that being in contact with you is not good for them for any number of reasons.
Maybe they just want to have a sharp boundary between you and them.
Maybe interactions with you have not been feeling good on an emotional level, so they’re stopping it.
Maybe they have started to date somebody else and they’re trying to give that new relationship a chance even though it’s probably a rebound relationship.
They may not watch things like my channel and so they may not know what they’re walking into.
Your ex might have lost your contact information or something like that. I got a new phone a couple of years back and they were trying to transfer all the data over. When it went through half of the phone numbers in my contact book were totally gone.
I needed to like reach out to everyone to ask, “Hey, what’s your phone number again?” That can happen.
Your ex not responding to you could be any number of things.
It could be that they’re just suddenly under a lot of stress, temporary stress from something that’s going on in their life.
Maybe work deadlines or sort of family drama.
Maybe they’re on vacation.
Oftentimes, people will become very concerned when the person that they’re seeing, their ex or the person that they’re in a relationship with suddenly stopped responding when they were on vacation.
It’s not because that person doesn’t care, it’s because their mind is elsewhere.
It’s because they are— at least temporarily speaking— emotionally unavailable to connect with you because they’re in a new environment.
They’re trying to see all the sights. There’s like a time difference. There’s jet lag. They don’t have the time and energy to sit down and do all these text messages when they’re trying to go out and do all these other things, right?
Whenever I travel, I always have this romantic notion that I’ll get to the hotel or something and then I’ll be able to sit down and get some work done on my computer.
Every single time when I show up at the hotel, all I want to do is veg-out because I’m exhausted from traveling or I just want to go get something to eat.
Usually, I get absolutely nothing done.
It can be kind of like that when it comes to somebody who is not responding to you while they are traveling. There’s a lot of different reasons why your ex may not be responding to you.
If your ex stops responding to you, you can look at how you’ve been contacting them in the past and see if there’s anything that is coming across the wrong way or is leaving a bad impression. Put yourself in an empathic state of mind.
As you put yourself in their shoes and start to see your text messages from their perspective and think to yourself:
“Oh, I get it. That came across as kind of demanding.”
“Oh, get it. That came across as kind of needy.”
You can start to change your approach toward your ex.
The second thing you can do to make your ex stop ignoring you is you can just understand,
“maybe they’re just not open to texting me for the time being. I’m not going to obsess about it. I’m not going to dwell on it. I’m not going overanalyze it. I’m going to go out there and live the best version of my life and maybe I’ll try again later.”
The more you invest in all of this stuff happening, the more you’re going to empower your own inner critic, your own limiting beliefs, your own what we call “The BS machine,” the part of your mind that goes and fills in the blanks of your experience with BS thoughts.
Basically, projections of your own insecurities, doubts, and fears and it’s going to make meaning out of things that are not understandable, right?
It’s not possible for you to fully understand why your ex stopped texting you back unless you were to run across her and pry open her brain and look at all of her private thoughts.
You’re not going to know why this happened and so you can either just spend your time neurotically analyzing everything thinking:
“Was it something I said or did?”
“What’s wrong with me?”
“I thought I did this the right way. What, did I forget something?”
Instead, you could think:
“You know what? I did my best to contact her and she just wasn’t open to it. So I’m just going to go forward and live my life.”
“I’m going to live my life. I’m going to have a great day. I’m going to have a great weekend, I’m going to do things that I love doing and you know, maybe later, I’ll check in with her again. If she’s not open then that’s cool.”
You want to stop investing your energy into overanalyzing things that most likely are not going to actually help you. You want to focus on living your best life right now.
Continue to part 4 here.
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