How To Get An Emotionally Unavailable Man Back

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Go back to part 1 here.

Jeff says,

“How do I get an emotionally unavailable man to come back to me?”

So if you were to look at this from an attachment theory point of view, it is my belief that avoidance and anxious attachment styles are both emotionally unavailable to a certain aspect. They’re different ends of the same polarity.

So the classical emotionally unavailable man who dips in and out of your life, that’s the avoidant attachment style.

Oftentimes, when you pursue the avoidant, that’s going to cause them to pull back even further, right?

The best way to get an emotionally unavailable man to come back to you is to not pursue him and to instead just create space.

Just create space for him to come back when he starts to feel like it.

Now, this would be how you would do that but kind of the question beneath the surface on this is, are you sure you want an emotionally unavailable man to come back to you?

Are you sure you want somebody, who, when things get intense, when things start to warm up, when things start to actually fall into place, his response is going to be to pull away, distance himself and run away?

That is a question that only you can answer but I hope that you would want to be in a relationship with somebody who is emotionally available. Here comes the elbow in the ribs there, you know?

Again, this is your life to live.

If that’s how you want to live your life, then go for it. Because my belief is that you have to accept somebody as they are and if he is emotionally unavailable, then you have to accept him as an emotionally unavailable man which means that you will, as long as you continue to interact with him, and date him, you will continue to have to deal with the consequences of him being an emotionally unavailable man.

That is to say, all the things we’ve talked about him flitting in and out of your life, hot and cold behavior, mixed messages, all of that stuff.

If that’s okay with you, fine. Go for it.

But if you’ve decided that you want more and you love yourself enough to have somebody in your life who’s not going to do that, who is emotionally available, then you might want to consider pursuing a relationship with somebody else.

But that is how you would get an emotionally unavailable man to come back. Just let him think he’s missing out.

Continue to part 3 here.

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Clay Andrews

About Clay Andrews

Clay Andrews and Mika Terao bring their client’s relationships back from the brink.

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