Hey guys, it’s your favorite break-up coach here and I’m back with more information that’s going to help you get a second chance with your ex.
My name, of course, is Brad Browning, or Break-up Brad if you prefer. I’m the author of the best-selling, Ex Factor program. I’m a relationship coach and break-up expert from Vancouver BC and I’m here today to help you figure out the true meaning behind your ex’s text messages.
If you’re like most of my clients, I’m sure you’ve received messages from your ex where you knew they weren’t telling the truth. Or maybe the message just seems suspicious and you wonder what was actually going through your ex’s mind when they sent it.
Let’s go through some common texts that you might receive from your ex and read between the lines to try to find out the real meaning.
Quickly, before I begin, let me just throw in a little disclaimer. No two people are alike. No two break-ups are alike and there’s no foolproof way to read your ex’s mind.
Beware of overanalyzing or jumping to conclusions. One text from your ex just isn’t enough to determine whether your ex will take you back or not, so don’t try to read that much into it.
Okay, with that disclaimer out of the way, let’s start with the first type of text message that your ex might send you.
1. One-word, indifferent texts.
Maybe you’ve got a message from your ex that said nothing but “Yeah” or “OK” or “LOL”. Those replies that feel like your ex was just trying to shut down the conversation or stop the discussion in its tracks.
Most of the time that feeling is actually accurate and your ex just wants to end the conversation. So if you do get one of these one word replies from your ex, especially if it’s in a situation where you’ve been talking about something that would normally be of interest to them or something that would normally generate a longer response, then take notice and don’t try to dig for more.
Sometimes, one word replies mean that your ex is tired of you and you need to back way off and sometimes it’s just because they’re in a bad mood or in the middle of something and don’t want to be bothered.
Either way, it’s time to give them some time and space and don’t try to force them to continue talking to you. I recommend you wait until your ex reaches out to you again and begins the conversation in the future rather than reaching out yourself. For now, stick to radio silence and don’t send anything back if you get one of those one word indifferent texts.
2. “I miss you.”
This is the most painful type of text that you can receive from your ex.
Often you’ll receive it late at night when your ex is lonely and has had some time to think things over. They might say things like “I miss you” or “I still love you” or something along those lines that indicates that perhaps they want to get back together. It might be included in a longer message or maybe they’ll just send you nothing but, “I miss you” out of the blue.
Either way it’s actually simultaneously both a good sign and an annoying type of text from your ex to deal with.
It’s good news because it means that your ex is still thinking about you and feeling emotional about the break-up. You have been doing the right things as proof of that. But it’s tough because it can give you a false sense of hope.
I see it all the time where one of my clients will receive a message like this from their ex only to find that the next three text messages they send get ignored altogether.
So keep that in mind. This hot and cold behavior, mixed messages, it’s actually very common. It means that you shouldn’t get too emotional in your reply. In fact, I recommend either not replying at all if it’s appropriate within the context of the conversation, or saying something to just change the topic, like “I miss you too. Speaking of missing, did you ever find that library book that disappeared from your car?” Something along those lines.
3. “Are you seeing anyone?”
This one is a bit less common, but I still get questions about this type of message from my clients pretty regularly.
In almost all situations, if your ex asks who you’re dating or if you’ve been seeing someone since the break-up, it’s great news.
They wouldn’t ask if they weren’t feeling at least a little bit jealous and they’re perhaps worried subconsciously that they’re losing you to another guy or girl.
Don’t drop what you’re doing and reply asking your ex to get back together right then and there.
Just because you get an encouraging text like this or any text that suggests your ex is jealous it doesn’t mean that they want you back right now. It is a positive sign, so you can reply with either a joke to get off the topic, for example say something like “Yeah well, you know me, I’ve always got at least three blondes on the go” or just give a vague answer that’s going to leave some mystery in your ex’s mind.
4. “I hate you.”
Sometimes your ex might say hurtful things to you. I see this pretty regularly and it often comes out of the blue.
You and your ex might have ended things on good terms but then they begin to get angry or mean for no real apparent reason. It’s usually not quite as blunt as “I hate you” but your ex might hint at how they’re so much better off now, they might bring up old arguments, or they might give you hell for something that happened in the past.
Either way getting this kind of message sucks but it’s actually a positive sign generally, unless you actually did or said something that justifies your ex’s anger. If not, especially if it seems unnecessary and comes out of the blue, then you at least know that your ex is thinking about you and that emotions are still running strong.
Now you want to always ignore this type of message. Never let yourself get dragged into an argument or let your ex know that their words have gotten to you. There’s nothing more powerful than ignoring a text from your ex that is intended to be hurtful or cause an argument.
5. No texts at all.
If your ex doesn’t reply to you at all, then it isn’t really a text per se, but it’s definitely a message that they’re sending. There are three things that might explain the lack of a reply from your ex.
First, your ex could be busy. It happens. Maybe just they’re out, they’re busy and they don’t have time to text you back.
Second, it’s possible that your ex still has feelings for you and doesn’t want to bring up those painful emotions and memories by chatting with you which is obviously a very good sign.
Third, maybe you have been too needy and sent too many irritating or uninteresting texts already and your ex just isn’t into it anymore.
This last option is probably the most common thing that I see.
Regardless of the true meaning behind your ex’s lack of reply, the best option for you is to do nothing.
If your ex is missing you and feeling too emotional to talk with you, they will probably give in at some point and reach out.
If they’re simply busy they’ll get back to you later.
Most importantly, if you have come on too strong already and you haven’t been a fun texting partner, then you definitely need to back off for at least a week or two and not send them anything at all.
Okay, ladies and gentlemen, these are five common texts from your ex and what they really mean. There’s a ton of other things that your ex might say as well that I haven’t covered today, obviously.
If you’ve got a more complicated situation or if you need ongoing one-on-one help, I also offer coaching to a limited number of clients. You can sign up for that coaching at my website. Of course, once you sign up to coaching I’ll learn about your situation, I’ll give you my take and I’ll guide you through the process of getting your ex back for good.
To learn the 5 brutal mistakes that destroy your chances of getting back together, I recommend that you go to my website and watch the video where I teach you how to reverse these mistakes.