“If you’ve both insulted one another, is there any possibility to be friends with your ex?”
Possibly in a few years.
Whether you can be friends with your ex depends on the degree of the insult that happened and how deeply it cut, really. It also depends on what you’re willing to do after the exchange of insults, arguing, fighting and if you are able to step up and take responsibility for your actions and apologize in a heartfelt way.
Not just saying,
“Hey, I’m sorry about that.”
It’s saying something to your ex like,
“Hey, I’m sorry. I really lost my cool. I didn’t really want to hurt you in that way. In that moment, I was caught off guard and stressed out because of… I don’t know, maybe something that’s going on in my life and I just wasn’t myself.
I know that my words probably hurt you a lot.
I know that it probably triggered you and that was a low blow for me to do that to you. I’m really sorry about that. I hope you can forgive me.”
That’s totally different than just saying “sorry,” right?
When it comes to an apology, you have to really let the other person know how your actions impacted them.
This is where that empathy layer comes from. You have to be able to put yourself in the other person’s position and communicate and reflect to them how your actions may have potentially impacted them.
When the other person really hears from you that you get that you hurt them in a certain way, you get how they feel, that’s when they can let go of the resentment, hurt and pain that they may be holding onto. Then they can start to move forward and have space where they can start talk to you and be friends again.
Now, this doesn’t have to take years, but if you’re just going to do something awkward and say, “Yeah, sorry. It’s not my fault that you’re a jerk.”
Obviously, that might take a long time to have that dissipate to the point where you can actually be on civil terms with one another.
But if you’re willing to take an empathic stance and reflect to them how your actions made them feel, then that’s when they can get over that whole lot faster and have a space to really entertain the idea of being friends, being even on good terms again.
I hope that helps you out with that question about being friends with your ex.
To find out more about how to reconnect with your ex, get your free report, 5 Unconscious Signs Your Ex Still Wants You (Hint: C.A.P.E.T.) here now.