Today, I’ll be sharing how to talk to your ex after no contact. Ideally, active no contact that I teach or maybe some form of passive no contact.
As you are starting to talk to your ex after no contact, what you want to do is to keep in mind that you might have an agenda for talking with your ex.
There might be something that you want from them.
Maybe you want to get back together with them or you want to make it seem like the two of you are in love, dating or attracted to each other again.
You might have something on your mind that you are trying to get to happen as you are going and talking to your ex.
What you really need to understand is that they have their own emotional experience. They have their own life, desires, dreams, hopes, fears and everything in between— just like you do.
The more that you can dial into their emotional experience, stay connected to them, and have curiosity about what their experience is, the better the quality of your conversations are going to be with your ex.
So when it comes to what to talk about with your ex or how to talk to your ex after no contact, the most important thing is not really the words you say, but the energetic level that you’re bringing into the interaction in the moment.
If you genuinely care about what your ex experiences, if you have a genuine sense of curiosity and interest, then your ex is going to be much more open and willing to start to reveal some of their emotional world to you.
Then, the more of themselves they will reveal to you on an emotional level, the deeper your emotional connection with them is going to get, right?
There are two levels of communication.
There’s the surface level communication we were just talking about. This is like sports, TV shows, the weather, celebrity gossip or random BS that people talk about all the time.
Then, there’s a deeper deeper level of communication where we’re talking about emotional things like hopes, fears, dreams, and how we feel in any given moment.
That is where you want to dwell when you talk to your ex after no contact.
You want to cut down below the surface level communication to your exe’s more substantial emotional world.
When you dwell in this emotional world, that is how you form an intense emotional connection with your ex (or anyone else for that matter).
As you start to strengthen this emotional world, the quality of your connection is going to grow stronger and stronger to the point that you’re going to have the opportunity to meet up in person, go out on dates and even get back together with your ex if that something that you choose to do.
This all comes down to how you are bringing yourself to all interactions with your ex.
It comes down to the kind of awareness, consciousness and curiosity you are showing about your ex’s emotional experience.
You have to understand their emotional world— not just their life on an intellectual level like:
“My ex is going to college to study Business Administration.”
You have to be more like:
“Wow! What’s it like to be the first person in your family to go to college? On some level you must feel like you need to study something responsible so that you can really be successful since you’re the first one to go?”
“If you didn’t have to study that MBA thing, what is it you would want to study instead?”
“If you could study anything, what would you really want to study? Would be art? Would be poetry? Would it be chemistry? What else would it be?”
When you start to get curious about these sorts of deeper emotional things, that’s how you can have a deep emotional connection and that is how you can talk to your ex again.
Want to connect with your ex on an emotional level and get another chance?
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