Hey, ladies! Welcome! Today’s topic is how to get over an ex boyfriend and move on as quickly as possible.
So if you’re dealing with some post-breakup blues right now, you’re in the right place. I’m going to share several little known tricks for minimizing heartache and moving on as quickly as possible after your breakup.
Let’s talk about to how to get over an ex boyfriend and recover from your breakup with the least possible heartache.
The very first thing you’ll want to do after a breakup is to remove obvious reminders of your ex, photos together, stuffed animals and love notes, jewelry, et cetera.
Either toss them in the trash or stuff them on a box and put it in storage.
Once you are fully healed and over your ex, you can open that box and decide what you want to keep. Until then, you really don’t need to be constantly reminded of them.
This also applies to your ex’s phone number? If you find yourself tempted to text or call your ex and you know that’s not something that you should be doing, then deleting his contact details from your phone is an easy solution.
This doesn’t work if you’ve got his number memorized obviously. But it definitely does help if you lack self-control or you’re the type to send the wrong text when you get emotional. You can write down your ex’s number and give it to a friend for safekeeping until you’re fully over him.
Now, as a little side note here, I’ve been fortunate enough to work with Brad Browning frequently in the past. He is arguably the world’s biggest breakup expert.
Brad recently shared a new tactic for recovering from a breakup that I absolutely love.
He suggests writing down a big list of all the things you hated about your ex-boyfriend or all the things he did or said to you over the time together that pissed you off or upset you.
Maybe your ex boyfriend had an annoying habit. Maybe he unfairly criticized your friends. Or maybe you absolutely despised the t-shirt he wore all the time.
It doesn’t matter how big or small these things are, just write down absolutely everything that you aren’t going to miss about your ex. Then anytime you’re feeling down and missing your ex like mad, whip out the list and read it through to remind yourself that he wasn’t perfect and that there are many ways in which you’re better off without him.
Another thing I’ve learned from Brad about breakups is related to closure.
He says it’s natural for most people to seek out the reason why their relationship ended.
I’ve noticed this at work with my own coaching clients as well. People feel like they need to hear some magic words from their ex in order to accept the breakup and move on. I understand that feeling, but I also agree with Brad that it’s never a good idea to chase your ex and try to get him to explain his thinking or answer your questions.
The reality is that nothing he is going to say will give you the sense of closure you’re looking for.
Like I said, Brad is perhaps the best known and most respected breakup expert out there. So please check out his work or visit his website for more of his tricks and tips for getting over your ex practically overnight.
Now, let’s move along here and talk briefly about emotions. Let’s not kid ourselves here, ladies. Breakups are emotional. Crying is inevitable. It’s OK to lie at home with a box of Kleenex for the first 24 to 48 hours after your breakup.
After a day or two of feeling sorry for yourself, that type of thing is no longer acceptable and it will start prolonging the heartache instead of healing it.
By the time 48 hours has passed since the breakup, you should definitely not be sitting at home alone crying. You should be out occupying yourself and keeping your mind off your ex.
Speaking of which, you know what the very best resource is when it comes to getting over a breakup?
This is one of those times where you can lean on your friends to support you. Make sure you are so busy doing enough fun stuff that there’s no time to think about the breakup.
Do whatever you can to stay busy for the first couple of weeks after your breakup.
I don’t care whether you feel like going out or not, you’re going. Trust me. This is the best thing you can do to get your mind off your ex-boyfriend.
Now is also a great time to make new friends, expand your social circle and try new hobbies or activities that will allow you to meet lots of new people.
If you embrace this type of change after a tough breakup, it often feels as though you’ve gone through a life transformation that will leave you better off than if you had stayed with your ex.
Use the opportunity to reset your life. Resume working on some of those goals you pushed to the sidelines when you were in your relationship.
Sometimes taking up new hobbies, meeting new people, and chasing life dreams can really put you out of your comfort zone. It can be scary, especially when you have became so accustomed to spending every night in your pajamas watching Seinfeld reruns.
But that’s what you want. You want to use this opportunity to steer your life in a new positive direction. That’s always going to be a bit scary at first. It will also going to help you get through this breakup faster and with less heartache. So it’s time to face those fears and just go for it.
Now, we’re really going to talk about the importance of your friends and helping you get past the relationship. But there’s one particular friendship that is definitely not a good idea at this point. I’m talking about being friends with your ex, which is just a downright bad idea regardless of how emotional you are feeling or how cordial your breakup was.
It might be a possibility in the future but please take my word when I say that trying to maintain a friendship with your ex in the first few weeks and months after a breakup is a terrible idea and it will only prolong your sadness and loneliness.
Breakup specialists like Brad Browning pretty much universally agree on this point. Resist the temptation to be friends with your ex boyfriend right now. Avoid him as much as you can.
OK. So I’ve got one final tip for you before I wrap this up. This is really important. Even though it may not directly seem like it, it will help you move on from your ex and get over the breakup.
Please don’t try to get revenge on your ex, spread humors about him, or do anything else like that.
I don’t care how much of a dick your ex was or how often he treated you like crap, trying to get back at him or badmouthing him at every opportunity would not make you feel any better in the long run. It probably won’t even be satisfying in the moment either.
So, resist the urge to slash the tires on his car, tell the world about his embarrassing secrets, et cetera.
Racking up that kind of bad karma ends up reflecting poorly on you and makes you less attractive to potential future boyfriends. It’s just not a constructive, grown-up way to handle a breakup.