Have you ever thought about how awesome the whole world seems when you’re smitten with a guy? It’s like a better, more beautiful place where everything is pleasant and less bothersome.
All this quickly changes though, when you fall out of love or have your heart broken. The world seems dark and bleak and almost anything can bring you to tears or piss you off.
This only goes to show us that our world is as bright or as gloomy as we make it out to be and how quickly we can jump between feelings when love is involved.
In the beginning of a romantic relationship, we often fear love because we know the pain it is capable of inflicting.
Sadly, getting over heartbreak is something most people go through in their lives. It’s a universal part of the human experience. Think about how many films, books, and songs are dedicated to love’s aftermath. Our culture thrives on it.
My name is Amy North. I’m a relationship coach from Vancouver, Canada and author of the bestselling online course, The Devotion System.
Today, I’m going to talk about the 5 stages for getting over heartbreak even if it seems impossible at first.
Let’s get started.
1. Coping with your loss.
Accepting that your relationship is over can be tough. Chances are you’ll experience a tidal wave of emotions ranging from hurt, regret, to agony and anger. You may cry, shout, laugh or may not be able to get anything past the lump in your throat.
Everyone has a different way of dealing with emotions. But I can assure you that we all share similar feelings when experiencing heartache.
An important part of the coping process is to take time to process your feelings. Not only will this help you with moving forward, but learning how to cope with loss is a valuable lesson to learn and it will teach you how to deal with emptiness.
If you rush through the emotions and jump into a new relationship without properly handling your grief, then chances are your repressed emotions will surface and blow up in your face.
Instead, give yourself the necessary time to move through each feeling, look inward and let it go.
2. Toughen up.
Now, this doesn’t mean you have to hit the gym or start lifting weights, but rather, there will come a time when you’ll emotionally toughen up.
You may know what I’m talking about. In fact, you’ve probably seen one of your friends or relative go through this stage, the one where they vowed to never fall in love again or promised not to make the same mistakes.
Well, they may think they are being tough, this isn’t strength but hurt disguised as it, as hurt shouldn’t stop us from dating again.
Although it may feel like time is standing still, the rest of the world keeps moving on. You are still expected to go to work, pay your bills and be social with others. As much as you may want to hide under the blankets until the pain goes away, you shouldn’t.
Choosing to face the world head on will show you how strong you really are. When you realize this, you’ll see you’re unstoppable. If your ex-boyfriend sees you in this unstoppable state of mind, he’s going to want to come crawling back to you.
If getting him back is what you’re really interested in, then I highly encouraged you to check out my website. In this video, you’ll learn about some of the psychological techniques to make your ex-boyfriend want to come running back to you again. Head on over to that site after you finish reading.
Remember, as much as you may feel like throwing the towel in or admitting defeat, you’re not alone in feeling the way you do. In fact, there are millions of people who at this very moment are facing similar battles and searching for their own strength, which brings me to my next tip.
3. Getting used to flying solo.
One of the hardest parts of dealing with a breakup is getting used to flying solo. Sure it can be tough when you’re suddenly doing the things you used to do together alone but what most people don’t see is how exciting it can be to re-embrace your independence.
You get to relearn that your own company is the best kind of company. There is a huge difference between being alone and being lonely.
Once you embrace the idea of flying solo, you can actually start to appreciate your own awesome self. Start a journal to write down your thoughts. Treat yourself. Go on dates with yourself. Binge-watch your favorite shows. Go for hikes. Pick up new hobbies. Plan a trip. And always, always compliment yourself.
After slowly getting over heartbreak, you’ll begin to realize that going home alone isn’t a dark, daunting thought. It’s kind of great actually.
4. Finding yourself again.
It doesn’t matter if you have been with someone for 3 months or 3 years. Time doesn’t determine how you felt about someone or the impact they had on your life.
No matter how much your relationship changed you as a person, it’s important to find yourself again as an individual. This means rediscovering your own routine and stability. It sounds tough but it’s really quite simple.
Before your ex-boyfriend was a part of your life, you were strong and independent person. To find yourself again, you need to go back to being that person.
Of course, you would not be the exact same person as you were before. The experiences and lessons you learned along the way will undoubtedly make you stronger and wiser. Still, pick up the pieces of you and rebuild yourself into the unbeatable force you are. Sometimes that’s all a broken heart needs to be put back together again.
And as the late great Marilyn Monroe once said, “Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”
5. Remember the good times.
Believe it or not, there will come a time in your life when you can look back on your relationship and smile.
It may take a year. It may take time. But when it does happen, you’ll no longer feel angry or upset thinking about it.
Maybe you’ll hear a song that flashes you to a memory or perhaps you’ll pull out the shoebox from the back of your closet, the one where you crammed all the love notes, ticket stubs, and photos.
Either way, my point is that when you finally able to get to this stage, you will be able to look back and remember the best parts of the relationship instead of the awful bits.
Well, that’s all for today. Hopefully, it will help you along your path to getting over heartbreak. Whenever it seems impossible, just remember that it may be hard right now but as Confucius said, “This too shall pass.”
If getting him back is what you’re really interested in, then I highly encourage you to watch this video I made for you.
Learn about some of my best psychological techniques to make your ex-boyfriend want to come running back to you again.
So until next time, take care and I’ll see you soon.