Hey, there! This is Clay with Relationship Inner Game. Today, I am going to share three signs your ex is still attracted to you.
I know that a lot of you are probably expecting this to be about things like, “oh yeah, maybe they give you a lingering glance or something as they leave” or maybe, “they put a little heart emoji on the text message to you” or something like that.
But it’s not what this is going to be about. And you’ll see why at the end.
1. You EVER had a physical connection with your ex.
The first sign that your ex is still attracted to you is that you ever at any time in the past had had some sort of romantic physical kind of connection.
Maybe you’ve had sex. Maybe you’ve kissed. Maybe you’ve made out. Maybe you’ve done other unmentionable things. That is a really good sign that your ex is still attracted to you because we’re going to get into this in a little bit.
Once the attraction switch has been flipped on somebody, when somebody just has come to the conclusion that hey, you are an attractive person, then that switch is not going to be coming off unless something very major happens.
If the two of you have a track record of being intimate physically or something then that’s a very good sign that your ex actually still finds you attractive.
On the other hand, if you’ve been on like one date and it didn’t go anywhere or something like that, then maybe it remains to be seen.
Or, if you had some sort of relationship but it was kind of dead and the two of you never really had any real attraction in the context of that relationship then it remains to be seen whether your ex is still attracted to you.
But if there was actual physical attraction that existed between the two of you at some point then that’s definitely a sign that your ex is still attracted to you.
2. You haven’t undergone any major physical transformation.
The second sign that your ex is still attracted to you is that you have not undergone any major physical transformation/mutilation of any sort.
And I mean this literally.
Your ex became attracted to you because in some way, you were physically attractive to them among other ways as well. But your physical body was attractive to them.
And so, unless you have been disfigured in some way, if that’s true, I’m sorry, but if you have been disfigured in some way, you’re going to look different than the person that they were attracted to.
Or if you have maybe gained a significant amount of weight or lost a significant amount of weight or otherwise just look different to the person that they first became attracted to then they may lose attraction for you.
But, if you essentially look the same then there’s a pretty good chance that your ex is still attracted to you.
When I say gained or lost weight, I’m not talking about like 5 pounds or 10 pounds. I’m talking like, “I gained or lost 100 pounds.”
Those are big things that are going to dramatically impact the way that somebody perceives your physical body. Cutting down a couple of pounds here and there might look a little bit different.
But it’s ultimately not going to be like one of those big game changer things which is like, “Whoa! I didn’t recognize you for a second. Didn’t used to be like this big and now you’re that big.” That’s totally a different thing all together right there.
So, if you essentially look more or less physically the same, your ex is probably still attracted to you.
3. Your personality has stayed the same.
The third sign that your ex is still attracted to you is that your personality is for the most part the same.
You haven’t gone through any sort of psychological break or nervous breakdown or anything where you suddenly don’t have the same personality anymore.
I’m not talking about, “Hey, I used to be shy and now I’m more sociable.” That’s still the same personality that you had but it’s just less inhibited.
I mean something like, “I was just traumatized in some severe way and I’m just not the same person anymore.”
If you’re becoming more outgoing, leaning into discomfort, and improving yourself then you’re probably still the same personality. It’s just that you’re maybe a little bit different. Maybe the dials have just been tuned a little bit differently but essentially underneath it all, you’re still the same person.
But, if that’s not the case, if your personality is on a basic foundational and fundamental level, way different, then that could be a sign that your ex might not be attracted to your new personality.
But, most people don’t have these sorts of big personality shifts and it’s not very likely.
You may have read these three signs your ex is still attracted to you and you might be wondering, “Well, what’s with all of these? I mean we went through a breakup and my ex said, ‘I’m not attracted to you anymore.’ It’s not like I’ve gained 50 pounds or it’s not like I’m suddenly a sociopath or something like that. What gives?”
The answer goes back to that first question, which is that if you had a romantic relationship with them, the attraction has been flipped on and it probably still is on.
Attraction is like a current in an electrical circuit. If something gets in the way of the circuit, electricity is not going to flow.
During a breakup, there is something in the way of that attraction that’s causing your ex to not feel that attraction. The attraction is there. It’s just that they don’t feel it.
So what is blocking the attraction? What is in the way?
It’s the history, negative emotions, and baggage between the two of you.
I don’t know what happened between you.
All I know is that if your ex was attracted to you and now they’re not, they are probably still attracted to you but that attraction is just being blocked by whatever happened— the cheating, the lying, the comment that somebody said that hurt your feelings, hurt their feelings or whatever.
Until you can get past that history and baggage, you’re not going to be able to get your ex to feel attraction for you again because that’s going to be blocked by the baggage, history, and negative emotions.
Your number one priority is NOT to focus on the re-attracting your ex— which a lot of people make a big mistake about, but it’s to really focus on clearing away those negative emotions, negative history, and the negative shadow that’s hanging over your relationship which causes them to not feel that attraction.
Remember your ex is most likely attracted to you unless like I said— there was never an actual romantic connection, you have gone through some sort of physical transformation, or you’ve gone through a personality transformation.
Barring all that, your ex is still attracted to you.
All you have to do is clear away those negative emotional experiences and let that attraction flow. You don’t have to worry about reattracting your ex. Really, you don’t.
If you focus on reattracting your ex, you’re going to be focusing on the wrong things and you’re going to wonder why you’re not getting anywhere close to getting back together.
Sure, you might do things that your ex finds attractive but that’s just going to be blocked by the baggage, the negative experiences, and the past things that happened between the two of you that we all wish didn’t happen. And it’s just not going to get through.
Again, you want to focus on clearing away the negative emotions between you and your ex.
To learn exactly how to do that, please head on over to my website and take the short quiz.
Next I’ll send you my free report, 5 Unconscious Signs Your Ex Wants You (HINT: C.A.P.E.T) which goes into more detail about exactly how to get your ex back. Along the way, I’ll be in touch over email with specific advice and strategies to help you get your ex back.