There are few things that feel worse than a blank screen, wondering why he doesn’t text back.
…And the longer it takes for him to text you back, the worse it feels.
Why is he leaving you to wonder?
The answer may not be as bad as you think.
I’m coach Amy North. I’m relationship expert from Vancouver and I’m here to provide women at dating advice that’s easy to understand and apply in any situation.
Whether you’re talking to a new guy, you’re in a committed relationship or anywhere in between— if you’re wondering why he doesn’t text you back, this is for you.
It’s tempting to think that guys are jerks, they’re playing games or they just don’t plainly like you if they don’t respond to your text messages.
There are plenty of other explanations why a guy might not be texting you back and they’re not nearly as bad as what’s going on in your head. Here are 3 of the most common reasons why he doesn’t text back.
1. He could have gotten busy.
First off, he could be busy. This one is easy to overlook.
At first he was replying in seconds and then he suddenly drops off the face of the earth for a whole day.
The most common answer here is not that he suddenly hates you but that something came up and he simply can’t conveniently reply to you.
It happens to the best of us.
Life can be hectic and texting is one of the first things to drop off when other things come up even if we like the person we’re texting quite a bit.
So, cut him some slack and don’t sweat it too much. You’d want him to do the same if you didn’t respond, right?
2. He might not know how to respond to you.
Another option is that he doesn’t know what to say, look at your last message.
Did you ask a question that requires a long answer?
Is there any chance it was unclear or something he might not want to talk about?
Just like in conversation, some things aren’t easy to discuss over text so he may not know how to answer you and just opt in to just ignore you instead.
If this is the case, give it a rest for now and wait for him to approach you again. In this case, you don’t want to question him.
If texting isn’t your thing and you keep running into these kinds of misunderstandings, you need to up your texting game.
I’ve put together a brand new guide on how to text the right way to get and keep the guy you want. I’ve included dozens of sample texts for different scenarios that will have him checking his phone, dying to read your next message. Check this out.
3. The conversation was over.
Did the conversation come to a natural close?
Look at the last message he sent.
Did it seem to naturally wrap up?
You’re not always going to get the same kind of final goodbye that you would with a phone conversation to let you know that this has run its course.
That’s why paying attention to the tone of his text messages is so important.
If you’re having a back and forth and his latest answer was short or didn’t require much of a reply, then just leave it for now, he’s not interested.
This might be what you’re worried about but it’s not as common as you may think.
If he’s not interested in you altogether, he’s hoping you’ll get the message if he just doesn’t reply.
In this case, you’ll certainly notice other telltale signs he isn’t interested in you.
Do his answers you get shorter and shorter and further and further apart before stopping entirely?
Does it seem like he’s just being polite?
Is he not answering half your questions?
Look at the tone of his message compare to yours. If you’re sending emojis and getting back the kind of text that you’d send to your parents, then this is a bad sign.
You’re over texting him, this is the most common way to get a guy to stop texting you for good.
He might be interested and like talking to you but if you won’t let a conversation go and you’re always texting him all hours of the day and night, it’s not your fault.
Texting a guy you like the right way can be subtle.
The fact that texting makes us always available makes it hard to know when to stop.
Try taking a step back and letting him make the first move.
If he’s into you, he’s eventually going to reach out.
How can you get him to text you back?
For most of these scenarios, my advice is really just to give it a rest for a bit. Texting 24/7 is NOT the answer. Give it a couple days and the next time you speak to one another will be even more special.
If your relationship is serious and he keeps disappearing from text without a trace, then you should probably sit down and have a talk about what you expect from his communication.
Be calm. Take the attitude that neither of you are in the wrong but it is important that he knows your feelings so the two of you can work out a compromise and figure out the rule of texting will play in your relationship.
One text he’s dying to read?
If you’re sick and tired of him ignoring your text messages and pulling away, learn one little text that holds the key to making any man feel everlasting love for you.