Love is important. The more love you have for one another and the longer you are together, the more comfortable you become. There is something soothing about being able to “be yourself” in your relationship. But there is something to be said for keeping a little mystery alive.
Is there anything more alluring than a good mystery? The curiosity you felt when you first met your partner, not quite knowing how they felt about you and being oblivious to their story was intoxicating, seductive even.
Do you want to build emotional intimacy in relationships, strengthen your love, and seduce your spouse? Make your relationship feel new again by bringing an air of mystery and manners into your life.
1. You’ll fight less.
Some couples may scoff at the idea that healthy relationships require mystery and manners. They may think that they have done their “time” while dating, and now is the time to enjoy being comfortable with one another.
Still, what some may view as “comfort” others may view as being unappreciated.
Being well-mannered with your partner can actually help prevent petty arguments and passive aggressive squabbles.
When couples stop doing the little things, like giving respect and using manners, it often leads to petty squabbles. Partners who do not feel appreciated are more likely to start arguments or feel dissatisfied in the relationship than those who are not courteous to one another.
When couples build emotional intimacy in relationships and continue showing manners they help prevent unnecessary arguments from happening.
2. Your relationship feels new.
We all know that love in a relationship is one of the most important factors for a successful bond, but having a little bit of mystery in your union can reignite that spark that you had when your relationship was just beginning.
A sense of mystery evokes a sense of attention. The more curious about someone you are, the more you will fixate on them. This can make your marriage feel new again. One study calls this cognitive benefit – an “effortless form of attention”. This attention to your spouse rebuilds chemistry and emotional intimacy.
3. You show appreciation.
Continuing to say “please” and “thank you” to your partner well into your marriage are severely overlooked by couples. These simple manners are an easy way of showing your partner that you still appreciate them. It shows that you don’t expect them to go out of their way for you and that you are grateful when they do.
For example, when your wife makes you dinner or your husband holds the car door open for you, say “thank you”. It’s the simplest of phrases that can make a huge difference in how you and your spouse treat each other on a daily basis.
4. Your family will notice.
Have you ever been to a family function where one couple spends the night squabbling and throwing awkward, underhanded comments toward one another? Or watched as one spouse walked far in front of the other out in public? Yikes. It’s uncomfortable for everyone involved.
Continuing to use manners and playfully keeping your spouse guessing will not go unnoticed by your family. Not only will they appreciate your gestures of appreciation, they will also reassure them that their family member is with someone who loves and respects them.
5. Mystery helps maintain your sexual connection.
There is nothing more alluring than a little mystery in your sex life. This sense of curiosity and wonder can make you feel like you just started dating again. Making your partner wonder about you can raise lust and create a sexual excitement.
Feeling comfortable in your relationship is, well, comforting. And sure, it’s nice not to have to shave your legs every time you want to have sex with your man. But, imagine if you did.
Imagine if your partner always did their grooming out of sight, or if you have never seen your partner casually undress in front of you. Wouldn’t it be that much more exciting when you saw them naked before getting intimate?
There is some aspect of mystery that can make your sex life feel more electric, whether you’re newlyweds or have been together for quite some time. Keeping an air of mystery is also beneficial for your sex life.
6. Manners set a good example for your children.
It’s no secret that children mimic their parents. From the way they show love right down to their eating habits. Does this thought delight you or fill you with dread?
You set the example to your children about what a marriage should be life. Your children will reflect how their parents treat one another, how you problem solve, whether you have fun as a couple or just seem like cohabitating parents, and of course, your use (or lack thereof) of manners sends a message.
Set a good example by using the same manners you learned as a child in your marriage. Be kind to one another, do not lash out at each other in public, be respectful, say thank you, and keep private things private.
7. Respect and appreciation maintain equality.
When both partners are striving to improve emotional intimacy in relationships by using manners, it creates a sense of equality. Neither spouse feels that their needs are more important than the others. Both deserve respect and a show of appreciation.
Strive to use manners and incorporate mystery in your everyday life. This will build love in a relationship and breathe new life into your feelings for one another. By being kind to one another on a regular basis, you will make your manners a fantastic, daily habit.
There are many benefits to keeping an air of mystery and manners in your marriage. Feeling comfortable with your spouse is great, but there is something to be said for maintaining that “first date” sense of manners.
Emotional intimacy in relationships is key to a happy, long-lasting marriage, as is love in a relationship. You can deepen both of these bonds by keeping an air of mystery in your relationship.