I read this yesterday, and it really made me think. The premise of that powerful piece is that the writer didn’t realize the sheer number of ways that she was disrespecting her husband. The sad part is that it hit me so hard because if I’m honest, on some bad days, it could be me.
The truth is, respect is sorely lacking in many of our relationships with men. Lots of the time, we don’t even realize that we’re disrespecting him, which is why it’s that much more dangerous.
Like the author of that piece mentions, the stereotype of the dumb husband and overbearing wife is about the last joke allowed anymore.
Writing about this is hard, because there is almost always backlash with the basic premise that “well men do this and this and this to us” and, those complaints aren’t incorrect.
However, this reasoning is flawed because it’s impossible to get what you want (a loving, stable relationship with a wonderful man) by denying someone else what they need. It’s like saying “I want a million dollars but I don’t have it so you can’t either.”
That’s why today I want to point out some of the most common ways that women disrespect and emasculate their men. Sometimes just shining a spotlight on a problem is enough to make us realize that changes need to be made.
Here are 17 things women do that emasculate their men and drive them away.
1. Withhold respect.
2. Talk down to him.
3. Make “jokes” about their guy being an extra kid.
4. Have a problem with his job or his salary.
5. Be mistrusting of his ability to handle things on his own.
6. Ask him for help, then take the problem back and insist whatever it is be done another way.
7. Nag him.
8. Boss him around.
9. Ask another guy to take care of something he could handle.
10. Treat him like he has no feelings.
11. Compare him to Mr. Ex.
12. Offer him advice that he didn’t ask for.
13. Criticize him.
14. Negative body language like eye rolling.
15. Express that he/the way he does something is not good enough.
16. Flirt with other men.
17. Refuse to allow him his own time.
I’ve found personally that when I try my hardest to avoid doing the things on this list, I reap lots of benefits in my own relationship. My coaching clients benefit right and left from showing their men more respect.
Respecting your man is the right thing to do, and it works to foster closeness between you.