17 Ways Women Emasculate Their Men Without Even Realizing It


emasculate men

I read this yesterday, and it really made me think. The premise of that powerful piece is that the writer didn’t realize the sheer number of ways that she was disrespecting her husband. The sad part is that it hit me so hard because if I’m honest, on some bad days, it could be me.

The truth is, respect is sorely lacking in many of our relationships with men. Lots of the time, we don’t even realize that we’re disrespecting him, which is why it’s that much more dangerous.

Like the author of that piece mentions, the stereotype of the dumb husband and overbearing wife is about the last joke allowed anymore.

Writing about this is hard, because there is almost always backlash with the basic premise that “well men do this and this and this to us” and, those complaints aren’t incorrect.

However, this reasoning is flawed because it’s impossible to get what you want (a loving, stable relationship with a wonderful man) by denying someone else what they need. It’s like saying “I want a million dollars but I don’t have it so you can’t either.”

That’s why today I want to point out some of the most common ways that women disrespect and emasculate their men. Sometimes just shining a spotlight on a problem is enough to make us realize that changes need to be made.

Here are 17 things women do that emasculate their men and drive them away.

1. Withhold respect.respect

2. Talk down to him.

3. Make “jokes” about their guy being an extra kid.

4. Have a problem with his job or his salary.

5. Be mistrusting of his ability to handle things on his own.

6. Ask him for help, then take the problem back and insist whatever it is be done another way.

7. Nag him.

8. Boss him around.

9. Ask another guy to take care of something he could handle.

10. Treat him like he has no feelings.

11. Compare him to Mr. Ex.

12. Offer him advice that he didn’t ask for.

13. Criticize him.

14. Negative body language like eye rolling.

15. Express that he/the way he does something is not good enough.

16. Flirt with other men.

17. Refuse to allow him his own time.

I’ve found personally that when I try my hardest to avoid doing the things on this list, I reap lots of benefits in my own relationship. My coaching clients benefit right and left from showing their men more respect. Respecting your man is the right thing to do, and it works to foster closeness between you.

How can you use respect to trigger his instinct to be your hero and bring him closer?

Well, the easiest way to trigger a man’s inner instinct to be your hero is to translate your desires into a language that speaks to his natural drive to be a provider.

His desire to serve, love, and protect.

The desire to be someone’s hero.

If that sounds fun to you, click here to learn more about this relationship enhancement tool. It’s something you can learn once, but then use for the rest of your life.

You already have needs and desires. Why not learn how to translate those desires into requests that trigger his hero instinct?

Then relax into the warmth and passion he is only capable of showing once a woman has triggered his hero instinct. A woman who knows exactly how to satisfy his thirst.

Elizabeth Stone

About Elizabeth Stone

Elizabeth Stone is a bestselling author, head love coach and founder of Attract The One and Luxe Self.

Through her coaching, writing and online programs she has helped thousands of women reunite with their men and create amazing, soul-level connections. She is thrilled to have helped so many couples reignite the spark in their relationships.

Tirelessly focused on helping people improve their love lives, her work has gone viral on Your Tango and Thought Catalog as well as been featured on EHarmony, Zoosk, Popsugar, The Good Men Project, Tiny Buddha, Bustle, Fox News Magazine, Ravishly, She Knows, Mind’s Journal, Read Unwritten, Madame Noire, Digital Romance Inc. and many more.


  1. Kevin

    June 6, 2015 at 6:28 am

    Thank you for posting this…..the vast majority of women do this , but in all fairness to women , women are being subtly programmed to hate & disrespect men by the ” media ” , I think as women think far more emotionally than men then they are more prone to this subterfuge. Those that control the ” media ” do NOT have our best interests at heart ,it’s the classic Divide & Rule game being played. Note that men are nearly always portrayed as stupid sex crazed beasts of the field that are worthless & expendable , & cannot function without a woman running his life. Hence the rise of women constantly labeling ALL men as ” Creepy / creeper / rapey ” & so on….the net result is a very rapidly growing number of men that have totally disconnected from women & will never bother even dating.

    I am also dumping my soon to be ex wife as she is does a lot of the above , but mainly she is a lazy couch potato lump & I’m sick of doing everything without support & appreciation , I am NO doormat & have warned her numerous times ,but she will clearly never change ,so decree nisi is the next step !! Simple APPRECIATION goes a long way.

    • Elizabeth Stone

      Elizabeth Stone

      June 6, 2015 at 8:30 am

      Thanks for your comment Kevin. It’s tough out there. I’m sorry you’re going through that.

    • Michelle

      August 1, 2015 at 5:59 pm

      I couldn’t agree more when it comes to media and social norms. I get accused of gender essentialism every time I suggest ways to show respect for the man of a relationship. Since when is cooking dinner while he works on the car gender essentialism?

      To this list I would also add:

      – sharing sensitive information about him with others. Emasculating and a sure fire way to make sure he never trusts you with sensitive info again.

      – spending outside your collective means, and worse, complaining you don’t have enough to buy what you want. Disrespectful and it can make him feel like he’s not a good provider.

      G+: GoodKittyGoneBad

      • Elizabeth Stone

        Elizabeth Stone

        September 22, 2015 at 9:28 am

        Thanks for those great additional points Michelle! So true.

  2. Darlene Polizzi

    September 17, 2015 at 9:00 am

    Thank you for writing this. Any time any human being mistreats another in such a way it is reprehensible! The media does indeed show men to be stupid idiots that can not even parent right. Disney plays this scenario over and over in its seemingly innocent sitcoms everyday. It makes me sad to see any of my children mistreated because the opposite sex deems them as worthless , it breaks my heart. I have seen both sides of this coin. Shame , Shame.

    • Elizabeth Stone

      Elizabeth Stone

      September 22, 2015 at 9:28 am

      Thanks Darlene. It’s really a bad situation for sure– but I hope in some small way to add to meaningful change. It’s got to be hard to raise sons and watch that.

  3. M&M

    March 23, 2016 at 7:47 pm

    I live in a marriage where my wife subjects me to 80% of the behaviors on this list. I’m miserable and planning my exit. I hope divorce doesn’t financial ruin me but its either this or suicide.

    I’m in hell.

    • Elizabeth Stone

      Elizabeth Stone

      March 23, 2016 at 8:12 pm

      Hi M&M, thanks for your comment.

      Your sanity is worth more than all the money in the world. I hope that your divorce goes smoothly and wish you the best.

  4. Anna

    April 16, 2016 at 8:11 pm

    Thank you for writing this amazing article, I agree with every word of it. I’m 25 y/o, my husband is 35 y/o man, and I don’t do any of the things listed above. I respect and love my husband deeply, he feels the same way towards me, and our marriage couldn’t be better. 🙂

    • Elizabeth Stone

      Elizabeth Stone

      April 18, 2016 at 9:08 pm

      Thanks for your kind words Anna! So glad to hear things are going awesome over at your house :). Respect really makes a huge difference.

  5. Warren Tucker

    May 17, 2016 at 12:43 am

    WOW! I stopped dating almost 20 years ago. Men need to wise up, sex is not worth all that aggravation. I enjoy the peace and solitude and may never get married, all I see are liabilities in the end.

  6. Jessica

    March 24, 2018 at 8:14 pm

    I do agree with a lot of this, but when your partner is lazily not providing financial stability to a family situation after promising that he would, you can’t just “not say something.” Partnerships and relationships need to be open and honest without repressed feelings. Otherwise it just makes it worse. Maybe that’s an pre-understood statement in this article, butnkt everything is so cut and dry with “lists” in cases like these, especially when children are involved.

    • Jane Smith

      June 20, 2018 at 5:08 pm

      Maybe you could provide the financial stability instead? If he isn’t able or doesn’t want to, then he needs to look after the children and you can take the financial role. Or you both compromise and split the financial and child rearing responsibilities. It’s not always black and white. Gender expectations are half the problem sometimes. Just adding a different perspective….

  7. Ginger Darwin

    September 16, 2019 at 4:56 pm

    I guess I must have done one of these on this list. I am having a hard time figuring out which one would apply because I honestly don’t know.
    My husband told me I was emasculating him. He told me to move near him. I left our family home to move near him. I had to quit my awesome job to do it. Our son and I moved to be with him where he works.
    I immediately started looking for a job. The only job I could land was in corrections. My days are long (12 hours), his job has long hours too (12 hours) and we hardly see each other. My current job has been known to put stress on a family and a marriage, but I really don’t think it is the problem. His boss actually has to make him take a day off. My hours are set.
    He does things without me on my days off and when I try to make solid plans with him he avoids my questions about when he is off, but he wants to know my days off which I freely give.
    I finally told him that if he didn’t want an intimate relationship with me then that is how it can be. No sex (he doesn’t want it anyway), no kisses (which he has no desire for), no dates (since he only wants me to share my days off). I told him I was o.k. with that relationship but he needed to tell me because that is how I was going to move forward. He said it wasn’t what he wanted. How can I tell? It is actually physically and emotionally painful to be touched by him now after so much time. I can’t believe t his is my life.

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