17 Ways Women Emasculate Their Men Without Even Realizing It

emasculate men

I read this yesterday, and it really made me think. The premise of that powerful piece is that the writer didn’t realize the sheer number of ways that she was disrespecting her husband. The sad part is that it hit me so hard because if I’m honest, on some bad days, it could be me.

The truth is, respect is sorely lacking in many of our relationships with men. Lots of the time, we don’t even realize that we’re disrespecting him, which is why it’s that much more dangerous.

Like the author of that piece mentions, the stereotype of the dumb husband and overbearing wife is about the last joke allowed anymore.

Writing about this is hard, because there is almost always backlash with the basic premise that “well men do this and this and this to us” and, those complaints aren’t incorrect.

However, this reasoning is flawed because it’s impossible to get what you want (a loving, stable relationship with a wonderful man) by denying someone else what they need. It’s like saying “I want a million dollars but I don’t have it so you can’t either.”

That’s why today I want to point out some of the most common ways that women disrespect and emasculate their men. Sometimes just shining a spotlight on a problem is enough to make us realize that changes need to be made.

Here are 17 things women do that emasculate their men and drive them away.

1. Withhold respect.respect

2. Talk down to him.

3. Make “jokes” about their guy being an extra kid.

4. Have a problem with his job or his salary.

5. Be mistrusting of his ability to handle things on his own.

6. Ask him for help, then take the problem back and insist whatever it is be done another way.

7. Nag him.

8. Boss him around.

9. Ask another guy to take care of something he could handle.

10. Treat him like he has no feelings.

11. Compare him to Mr. Ex.

12. Offer him advice that he didn’t ask for.

13. Criticize him.

14. Negative body language like eye rolling.

15. Express that he/the way he does something is not good enough.

16. Flirt with other men.

17. Refuse to allow him his own time.

I’ve found personally that when I try my hardest to avoid doing the things on this list, I reap lots of benefits in my own relationship. My coaching clients benefit right and left from showing their men more respect.

Respecting your man is the right thing to do, and it works to foster closeness between you.

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14 thoughts on “17 Ways Women Emasculate Their Men Without Even Realizing It”

  1. Avatar

    Thank you for posting this…..the vast majority of women do this , but in all fairness to women , women are being subtly programmed to hate & disrespect men by the ” media ” , I think as women think far more emotionally than men then they are more prone to this subterfuge. Those that control the ” media ” do NOT have our best interests at heart ,it’s the classic Divide & Rule game being played. Note that men are nearly always portrayed as stupid sex crazed beasts of the field that are worthless & expendable , & cannot function without a woman running his life. Hence the rise of women constantly labeling ALL men as ” Creepy / creeper / rapey ” & so on….the net result is a very rapidly growing number of men that have totally disconnected from women & will never bother even dating.

    I am also dumping my soon to be ex wife as she is does a lot of the above , but mainly she is a lazy couch potato lump & I’m sick of doing everything without support & appreciation , I am NO doormat & have warned her numerous times ,but she will clearly never change ,so decree nisi is the next step !! Simple APPRECIATION goes a long way.

    1. Avatar

      I couldn’t agree more when it comes to media and social norms. I get accused of gender essentialism every time I suggest ways to show respect for the man of a relationship. Since when is cooking dinner while he works on the car gender essentialism?

      To this list I would also add:

      – sharing sensitive information about him with others. Emasculating and a sure fire way to make sure he never trusts you with sensitive info again.

      – spending outside your collective means, and worse, complaining you don’t have enough to buy what you want. Disrespectful and it can make him feel like he’s not a good provider.

      G+: GoodKittyGoneBad

  2. Avatar

    Thank you for writing this. Any time any human being mistreats another in such a way it is reprehensible! The media does indeed show men to be stupid idiots that can not even parent right. Disney plays this scenario over and over in its seemingly innocent sitcoms everyday. It makes me sad to see any of my children mistreated because the opposite sex deems them as worthless , it breaks my heart. I have seen both sides of this coin. Shame , Shame.

  3. Avatar

    I live in a marriage where my wife subjects me to 80% of the behaviors on this list. I’m miserable and planning my exit. I hope divorce doesn’t financial ruin me but its either this or suicide.

    I’m in hell.

  4. Avatar

    Thank you for writing this amazing article, I agree with every word of it. I’m 25 y/o, my husband is 35 y/o man, and I don’t do any of the things listed above. I respect and love my husband deeply, he feels the same way towards me, and our marriage couldn’t be better. 🙂

  5. Avatar

    WOW! I stopped dating almost 20 years ago. Men need to wise up, sex is not worth all that aggravation. I enjoy the peace and solitude and may never get married, all I see are liabilities in the end.

  6. Avatar

    I do agree with a lot of this, but when your partner is lazily not providing financial stability to a family situation after promising that he would, you can’t just “not say something.” Partnerships and relationships need to be open and honest without repressed feelings. Otherwise it just makes it worse. Maybe that’s an pre-understood statement in this article, butnkt everything is so cut and dry with “lists” in cases like these, especially when children are involved.

    1. Avatar

      Maybe you could provide the financial stability instead? If he isn’t able or doesn’t want to, then he needs to look after the children and you can take the financial role. Or you both compromise and split the financial and child rearing responsibilities. It’s not always black and white. Gender expectations are half the problem sometimes. Just adding a different perspective….

  7. Avatar

    I guess I must have done one of these on this list. I am having a hard time figuring out which one would apply because I honestly don’t know.
    My husband told me I was emasculating him. He told me to move near him. I left our family home to move near him. I had to quit my awesome job to do it. Our son and I moved to be with him where he works.
    I immediately started looking for a job. The only job I could land was in corrections. My days are long (12 hours), his job has long hours too (12 hours) and we hardly see each other. My current job has been known to put stress on a family and a marriage, but I really don’t think it is the problem. His boss actually has to make him take a day off. My hours are set.
    He does things without me on my days off and when I try to make solid plans with him he avoids my questions about when he is off, but he wants to know my days off which I freely give.
    I finally told him that if he didn’t want an intimate relationship with me then that is how it can be. No sex (he doesn’t want it anyway), no kisses (which he has no desire for), no dates (since he only wants me to share my days off). I told him I was o.k. with that relationship but he needed to tell me because that is how I was going to move forward. He said it wasn’t what he wanted. How can I tell? It is actually physically and emotionally painful to be touched by him now after so much time. I can’t believe t his is my life.

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