When you find yourself dealing with a crisis in your marriage, it may seem as though it appeared from nowhere.
You spouse may have decided to end the marriage or may have admitted to no longer loving you.
Whatever the reason, this is a confusing and painful time. It’s completely understandable if you have no idea what to do because it’s not every day that you go through something as big and heavy as this.
In my work as a relationship coach, I talk to people every day who are wondering what to do about their relationships.That’s why I’ve put together some quick strategies here to help you survive a marriage crisis and come out stronger in the end.
Here are several things to keep in mind in order to get through the crisis without having to end your marriage.
Accept that right now you might be the only one “working” on your marriage.
Many couples will tell you that the key to a successful marriage is in having a 50/50 relationship.
But when your spouse has one foot out the door and things are rocky, you might be the only person trying to save your relationship.
When your spouse is confused about whether they still want to be together or has decided to end the relationship completely, they are not working towards the same goals that you have. If you want to weather the crisis in your marriage and save things, you’ll have to do more than your fair share to keep the marriage alive, whether it’s fair or not.
If your spouse has asked for a divorce, a separation or has simply stated that there is no love left, there is still hope that you can get your marriage back. There is even the possibility that your marriage could be better than ever if you can survive this marriage crisis.
But that has a LOT to do with you.
Relationships are rarely perfect all the time.
They are like the waves of the ocean, peaking and then dropping back down. There is still hope that your relationship could reach that next peak if you stay positive and commit to the process of making changes.
Learn to Identify “Justification.”
Your partner may seem to be extremely angry and complain about everything you have ever said and done throughout the duration of your marriage.
Don’t assume that these complaints are the real reason that your spouse has decided to end the relationship. If your spouse is feeling guilty for the current crisis, they may express anger and give a bunch of reasons to justify their decision.
The more complaints your spouse makes against you, the less likely it is that any of them are the real reason for the separation and you should try not to take them personally.
Make Changes to Other Areas of Your Life.
Although this probably isn’t the best time to switch careers, it is the ideal time to get in touch with hobbies and personal goals you have always been interested in.
Add some activities you enjoy so that everything going on in your life doesn’t revolve around your marriage crisis.
Taking on new challenges will help you feel better about yourself and will help your spouse see you as a more interesting, exciting person.
Give Your Spouse time and Space To think.
If your spouse has decided to end your marriage, the last thing you should do is follow them around, call incessantly, or bother them at work.
They will NOT decide to do meaningful work on your relationship because you’ve been hounding them to change their mind.
Give them the chance to sort out their feelings and have space from you. It will help in the long run. When people cling and act emotional, that makes things SO much worse.
Instead of demanding that your spouse tell you all about their feelings, give them the time and space to think about your marriage.
It’s possible that your spouse doesn’t know what they are basing their decision around but is instead feeling lost and confused.
In that case, some time may be all it takes to change their mind about ending your relationship.
Getting through a Marriage Crisis can take a While.
Often, the spouse that has decided to end the relationship may need to deal with some personal issues before deciding what to do about your marriage. Putting pressure on your spouse to make a decision about you will only drive them further away. What you do right now is crucial.
If you are dedicated to doing everything you can to keep your marriage together, there is always hope of getting through the crisis without it ending in divorce.
