One question I get often from coaching clients is whether they should try to manifest running into a specific person– usually their ex.
That’s why today I want to talk about how to manifest running into a specific person (like your ex) and why that’s not the whole story!
Usually the idea is that running into your ex might spark something and you might have a better chance of getting back together.
In practice, running into your ex when you’re trying to get them back usually has mixed results.
It can be great like in the movies or it can be a disaster where your ex becomes afraid you’re stalking them.
Recently a client asked me if it was actually a real “accident” when people run into an ex they want to get back together with.
The question reminded me of something that happened to me in my early 20’s. This was before I knew anything about how to get your ex back or how to manifest a specific person.
At the time I wanted to repair my relationship with my first serious boyfriend.
After dating him for a few years, I left him because my self worth, beliefs and self concept needed deep work. I was not conscious of this, I simply thought I was “unhappy.”
A few months after the breakup, I thought I had made a mistake and wanted him back.
Back then, I was flying blind, emotional and doing whatever seemed best to get his attention using the same ineffective strategies people try all the time.
Talking to him wasn’t working.
Declaring my love for him was also not effective.
Drunk dialing my ex late at night didn’t work either.
Neither did “casually” showing up at his work.
All I had succeeded at was pushing my ex even further away (he proposed marriage later in case you’re wondering about how this story ends).
Because nothing had worked yet, I felt rejected and defeated. I wanted it way too much, plus I was starting to run out of ideas for how to get him back.
Anyhow, we both loved the punk band, Rancid.
I found out they were touring and bought two tickets for a Friday night show in the vague hope my ex would go with me.
Except I was too chicken to ask him out. I still wanted us to go together, but I couldn’t bring myself to risk more rejection and invite him.
When the night of the concert rolled around, I felt silly for buying the extra ticket but didn’t want it to go to waste.
Instead of reaching out to my ex, I called a fun friend who was likely to want to go on short notice. She said yes, but we would have to meet at the venue because the timing was tight and it was closer to her work.
I made the drive out to The House of Blues and parked several floors up in the garage across the street.
Once I arrived, all I needed to do was take the elevator to the ground floor and cross the street in front of the venue.
On the walk to the elevator, I attempted to shake off the nervous feeling I had been trying and failing to ignore all evening.
When the elevator doors opened, I was appalled to find my ex standing inside with 3 of his friends.
I decided to get into the elevator because I don’t know how to teleport and running away seemed dramatic.
“Speak of the devil,” my exe’s best friend said with a jaded chuckle.
Another friend thrust a large, full Jack-In-The-Box restaurant cup at me and said, “You look like you need a drink.”
I grabbed the cup, took a gulp and discovered the concoction was at least 90% cheap vodka with a hint of orange soda.
I took another long swig and hoped I didn’t look like a terrified, cornered wild animal. When I tried to hand her the cup back, she studied my face and said, “you need it more than me.”
The doors closed and we all started the awkward, silent, seven story ride down to the ground floor. I clutched my new cocktail and tried to avoid making eye contact with anyone.
When the ride was over, I pushed past everyone in a panicky effort to get out of the elevator as quickly as possible.
Thankfully, my friend was already waiting outside the venue so I beelined over to her like a relieved lost child.
“Oh my God, it’s HIM, but don’t look,” I choked out as a greeting. Then I made a jerky, weird head motion to my exe’s group behind me on the sidewalk.
She glanced over and her eyes widened, “Ohhh….. Wow.”
I downed the cocktail because I wasn’t wasting perfectly serviceable free vodka.
Once we were safely outside of my exe’s earshot, I gave her the blow by blow of what had just happened inside the elevator.
As good friends usually do, she found this hilarious and we went about our evening. Soon the vodka took effect. My inhibitions disappeared long enough for me to think talking to the ex was a great idea.
It was not a great idea.
I was in the completely wrong mindset for attracting anyone. I could have said the perfect thing but underneath, I was a complete mess.
He tried to be kind, but stayed emotionally distant.
Eventually I gave up and I shook it all off by going into the crowded, sweaty mosh pit for the rest of the evening.
As chaotic as this story is– it’s a good example of both the power of setting an intention and the effect of surrender.
At the time, I had never heard of manifestation and was completely immersed in the material world. I didn’t know what I was doing, so I saw it all as a huge coincidence.
And, if you happen to think this was a coincidence, I don’t blame you.
Yet, if you want to manifest a meeting with a specific person, you might want to change that opinion.
How to Manifest Running Into A Specific Person (like your ex)
Here are the steps to manifest running into someone.
Step 1– Decide you’ll run into the specific person.
Step 2– Undo any sneaky beliefs that cause you to think this is not possible.
Step 3– Let it go. Do whatever sounds fun.
That’s it.
If that seems too simple, consider whether running into your ex is the only thing you desire here.
Do you actually want the whole relationship?
Does this larger goal seem too “hard” after everything that has already happened?
It’s time to think about what your true desire when you are thinking about manifesting a meeting with your ex.
Get Clear On What You Actually Want To Manifest
Even though running into a specific person IS possible, it usually isn’t what you actually want, deep down.
For example, what I wanted back then was to be in an exclusive relationship again with my ex boyfriend.
Trying to go to a concert with him using the wrong mindset was never, ever going to get us back together. I was in fantasyland. I had no idea what I was doing.
In the beginning I was stuck looking for “methods and techniques” to get bits and pieces of what I wanted.
If this is where you are right now, I don’t blame you. It’s a normal starting place. Especially if you feel a lot of mixed emotions about the person you want to manifest a relationship with.
In my story, I was too afraid and emotional to even dare think I could have what I wanted. This made it impossible for me to be patient and take inspired action when it came up.
I could not think that could even work!
The problem was not my ex boyfriend or any of the circumstances between us or what I did to push him away, it was my mindset!
All I had to do was decide what I actually wanted and give up on all the desperate effort to make it happen.
The difference between desperate effort and inspired action is huge– but it’s a topic for another day.
My Final Thoughts About Manifesting A Meeting With A Specific Person
Whether you should manifest running into your ex or not is up to you.
In my experience, it isn’t very effective as a technique for getting back together. It might feel good because you get to see them in the moment, but your feelings about that depend on you.
In my story, I manifested going to a concert with my ex without even realizing what I had done.
At the time, it did NOT get me any closer to my real goal of getting back together.
If you’re thinking about trying to run into your ex as a way to start getting back together, consider what you actually want and work from there.
Not “what you think is realistic.”
What do you really want?
I’m guessing it’s probably not to just stand near your ex at a Rancid concert.
