Online dating fraud and scams are a huge problem. A catfish is someone who is pretending to be someone they are not.
Someone might pretend to be someone they are not to extort money, explore how they are treated when they interact with others using a different identity or because they have deep-seated psychological issues.
Either way, falling for a catfish is an awful experience that I want to help you avoid.
Here are 11 signs you are being catfished online and ways to find out whether or not someone truly is who they say they are.
1. Look carefully at their profile picture.
Their profile picture could hold valuable clues on whether they are a catfish or just a regular person.
For instance, if the picture is old. You’ll recognize it instantly – it’s easy to spot if it’s just a filter or not.
See if there are any other, newer pictures. If not, that person is probably hiding something important.
Next, if all the pictures look too good to be true, they could be a catfish.
Regular people might have a few great photos of themselves but they’ll also have a few fun ones where they are out and about with friends and so on.
A catfish usually doesn’t.
They have one or two pics max, or sometimes they stole a whole bunch from somewhere. Either way, something is almost always “off” about a catfish’s pictures.
2. Their location.
In dating apps, you’ll usually connect with people who live nearby or in your vicinity. Rarely would you ever connect with someone living half the world away from you.
However, a catfish will generally live very far away from you so it’s hard for you to discover who they really are.
Check their location. If they already started the conversation with you, ask them why they connected with you when they are so far away.
3. Pay attention to the way they write.
For instance, if a person online says that they are a professor and then they make a ton of grammar and spelling mistakes, using too many words like “lol,” “wtf” and so on, this probably means that they are not who they say they are.
Education and employment are some of the most commonly lied about items on the list so pay attention to how they write.
Do their sentences and the tone of voice match their description? If not, move on.
4. Pay attention to their description.
The description they give on the site can say many things about a person.
For instance, if they are too brief or avoiding the words “I” or “me,” they are probably lying about something.
Again, they could sound too good to be true.
Sure, there are many people out there who have a lot of money, gorgeous homes and work for charities but how probable is it that this person found you? Not likely.
Ask them about things from their description and subtly ask for proof. If they avoid it, this is a total giveaway sign you are being catfished.
READ: 5 Unfortunate Online Dating Profile Mistakes You Must Avoid
5. Watch out for hints while chatting.
This person could be telling you many things while lying. You just need to pay attention and avoid being charmed by them.
For instance, they could say that they don’t have a phone or that their phone is broken for a longer amount of time – in today’s world, how probable is that?
They could say that their camera is broken, that they don’t have an email or a real social media profile and so on.
Again, those things are highly improbable nowadays and it should be your instant signal that they are lying to you.
If they avoid talking to you on the phone, over a video call or refuse to meet you in person, with some excuse always in place, this is a strong red flag they might be a catfish.
Also, if a person is telling you they love you after only a few days, if they are complimenting you too much or are in any way strange or evasive in their responses, they are probably a catfish or otherwise mentally unbalanced.
6. Suggest a video call date.
While you might be sick of spending your workday in and out of Zoom meetings, video call is a great way to find out more about someone without having to meet them in person yet.
The details you’ll get from a quick video chat will tell you a lot.
Are they willing to get on camera?
Does what they say when they show up over video call line up with what they have been saying online?
Do they look like their photos?
If someone isn’t who they say they are, you will probably notice some inconsistencies even if they are small. Pay attention to these. See if you can verify any of the details they give you.
This leads me to the next point.
7. Trust your gut.
People are naturally gifted to recognize danger even behind a pretty face and lovely words. However, people often don’t listen to their gut feelings.
For instance, you have just started chatting with a guy from another city who looks great, seems great on paper but there is just something slightly off about him.
Maybe he’s texting you to see where you are a tad too often or he gets jealous if you don’t respond within minutes and so on.
Signs you are being catfished don’t even have to be this obvious – it might be just a slight strangeness about the person.
An excellent book about your gut feeling and danger is The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker.
It’s well worth a read if you have had trouble in the past or want simply more guidance in the area of following your gut feelings.
Something that might seem cute but your gut is telling you it isn’t. Trust your gut. It’s often very right.
8. It sounds too good to be true.
They look like they jumped straight off the pages of a magazine, they have an amazing job and great achievements. “How likely is it that they even exist?
Try to go a bit deeper, always try to get to the bottom of it by asking subtly for some kind of proof,” says Michael Folsom, relationship columnist.
Ask for a photo of them at this moment or something that looks more realistic than their online dating profile pictures. If they refuse and try to avoid answering, you know it’s not for real.
9. Look at their friend’s profiles.
Do they even have any friends?
If yes, who are they?
Is there any friendly banter, posts, tagged pictures and so on?
You know, regular things friends do on each other’s profiles.
If there aren’t any, their friends are likely just as bogus as they are.
Check out their friends out to see if there are any proof that they are, in fact, a real person and not just an empty name.
10. Do an online search.
In this day and age, it would be ridiculous if you didn’t. It’s usually very easy to get plenty of information you need about someone.
For instance, try to find them on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tik Tok or any other social media.
Try to find any other proof of their existence online.
If there is none, this is a likely sign you are being catfished.
You can reverse image search for their pictures as well and see what comes up.
11. If you meet them in person, watch for clues.
If you end up going on the first date with someone, watch for clues of deception or danger.
For instance, they order everything for you without even asking you or they seem strange in any way. There is maybe some evidence of that person being controlling and potentially abusive.
If they ordered your drink before you even came, don’t drink it or switch it before they can notice.
Always be very careful about your drink– anytime, not just on a first date. Never take your eyes off it.
If you feel in danger in any way or just uncomfortable, leave the date or let the staff know that you are in danger.
Online dating can be a confusing world. Some people make it even harder with all of their lies, but hopefully this is helpful.
