Have you dived into the online dating world and had trouble getting a date?
Maybe you have gone on lots of dates and just can’t seem to find someone you click with.
Check to see if you’re making these top five most common online dating profile mistakes:
1. Bad Pictures.
It’s a pretty common mistake to grab your absolute best picture (in any time period) and throw it up there on your profile. Unfortunately this is a recipe for disaster. Just think about how you would feel if you met someone in person and it was obvious that they look 10 years older than their picture or they have gained or lost a significant amount of weight.
Aim for recent, varied and authentic photos, with a good mix of head and full body shots.
Guys, leave out the penis selfies.
Ladies, leave out the photos of you with fluffy.
This is where getting input from whomever you wish to attract really helps. Grab a friend and have them tell you their honest impression of your photos. Think about what your photos convey and whom you are trying to attract. If you’re looking for a long-term, serious relationship, cover up (this means you also, gentlemen).
2. Dry, Long, Boring “About Me” Section.
Online dating is a form of direct-response advertising where you are the product. If your profile reads like a refrigerator manual and doesn’t get anyone to click the “contact” button, it will be an uphill battle to meet the right person. Spice up the language, break up long paragraphs, and don’t write a book on yourself. A simple format works best. This is not the time to launch into a rant about anything or go on and on, starting every sentence with “I”.
Have a friend proofread and edit. Look at the profiles of your competition and think about what they are writing about that seems positive, light and interesting. Don’t copy anyone, just browse the profiles of people like you and take some notes about how you can present yourself better.
3. Long, negative lists about what you don’t want in a partner.
Negative energy attracts negative energy. I’ve read so many profiles that give a short little snippet about the profile’s owner, and then launch into a long rant about what their future beloved should not be like. This is a mistake.
You can select for interpersonal traits you don’t like after you meet people. Putting it all in your profile makes you come across as critical and negative. Rather than aim to avoid people you think you won’t like using your profile, usually it works better to put across a very inviting demeanor and get a ton of emails. Once you get a lot of responses, you can think about whether they are a good fit for you.
4. ALL mentions of exes, including veiled ones.
Being a healthy, well adjusted person will help you meet healthy, well-adjusted people.
If your profile says anything like, “I’ve been hurt BADLY and I’m trying to AVOID jerks that rip your heart out and dance the samba on it” you need to step back and give yourself a little time to heal. Heartbreak has a rotten smell to healthy potential mates.
5. Lying or delicately stretching the truth.
Last but not least, do not invent or fudge details in your profile.
As tempting as it sounds to just increase your gym attendance from zero times a week to four, eventually when you meet someone you like, it will become obvious to them that you weren’t quite telling the truth. It’s important to never make a potential mate feel like they were bait and switched.
While I’m not saying to make a list of your flaws, just don’t make yourself sound like more than you really are.
Have your friend help with this. If what you’re saying in your profile makes them gag, it will more than likely also turn off potential mates (and give your friend the giggles). Also, if you feel like you wouldn’t show the profile to a good friend for fear of what they would think, it’s probably a sign that you definitely need feedback.
If you’ve ever tried online dating with hope in your heart only to have that hope mutilated and squashed by jerks and rejection, then you already know it’s time for a change.