Today, I’m going to continue my series on the topic of texting your ex.
Specifically, I’m going to talk about why your ex ignores your texts or doesn’t respond to you.
Once again, I have to remind you that this is all taking place within the context of your ex’s emotional experience, right?
So you have to understand the five stages of getting back together with your ex.
You have to understand where your ex is going to an emotional level and you have to be able to really bring yourself to these interactions in a way that’s going to make your ex likely to respond to you.
But with all that being said, sometimes there is one important reason why your ex ignores your texts and that is because you simply aren’t asking them very specific and targeted questions. OK?
Oftentimes, people text their exes things like this:
“What’s new?”
“How is it going?”
“Hope everything’s going well.”
“Hope you’re doing great.”
“How are you doing?”
And these questions— although well-meaning don’t really a elicit a great response from your ex and can cause them to start ignoring you.
For example, if you were to ask me, “How are you doing, Clay?” I wouldn’t really know how to answer you.
There are lots of things going on in my life, between my wife and my family. There’s lots of things going in my business, with my hobbies and my friends, right?
And, even if I was going to start to answer that question, I might just forget to include certain aspects of my life.
So even though you don’t know where to start with texting your ex and you’re just like, “Hey, tell me something about you,” it can be kind of overwhelming for them to really know what to talk about.
Instead, it’s helpful to ask your ex very specific and targeted questions.
One of the best things to do is when your ex starts to share something, anything is to just start to ask them to share a little bit more about that, something like:
“What was that like for you?”
“How did that make you feel?”
“Tell me more about that.”
Asking questions along those lines will help to get your ex to talk and share more about their experiences.
This starts to move things away from the intellectual, theoretical level where your conversation with your ex is boring, like:
“How are you?”
“I am good. How are you?”
“I am good too. Thanks!”
When you ask deeper questions, you move the conversation with your ex somewhere more real.
Then you can have a substantial, real conversation about what is really happening with them, for example:
“Oh yeah, well, I was thinking of you know buying this new car.”
“Hey, I was I was planning my vacation. I was wondering if you think I should go to Mexico or do you think I should go to Hawaii.”
And so on.
Once you start to get down to that emotional level of conversation, you can have really meaningful and real interactions that are going to make your ex want to respond to you and stop ignoring you.
You have to engage your ex on an emotional level.
If they are not engaged on an emotional level, your ex will continue to ignore your texts no matter how often you ask them, “What’s new?” “How’s it going?” or anything like that.
You have to take it down to a deeper, more granular type of question that gets them thinking and wanting to talk with you.
To form a deep, meaningful, substantial, real emotional connection with your ex, here’s what I’d like you to do:
Join me inside The New Beginnings Course. Inside you’ll find out exactly how to bring them back to you.
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