All right, if you’re scared that your ex won’t reach out to you, let’s go ahead and bring it in. We’ve got to have a little bit of a pep talk here, okay?
This is going to be really important, and I want you to stay through to the end of this one because this is so very important.
This is Clay Andrews with Modern Love.
I know there are a lot of people out there who are hoping that their ex will reach out to them after no contact, and they’re doing all sorts of things to try to make this happen.
Perhaps they’re using no contact, refusing to answer messages, playing hard to get, or something like that, and they are hoping that it causes their ex to reach out.
But maybe… as time grinds on, you’re just not experiencing the results that you’re hoping that you’re going to get from all of this, and so I want to talk this through with you here.
A lot of people reading this are going through what’s called “no contact.”
They’ve decided to stop talking to their ex to see if their ex will reach out to them, whether they’ve set some sort of predetermined time frame like a month– or whether they’re just doing it indefinitely until their ex cracks under the pressure and reaches out.
I imagine probably a good chunk of you are doing no contact that way.
If that’s the case, then I want to make it clear that you’re probably thinking about this whole no contact thing in the wrong way.
Now again, I get it. There are a lot of videos on the internet that say you have to use no contact to get your ex back.
As though going no contact is the one true only way that you’re ever going to be able to get your ex back to you.
But I want to tell you that in my experience and the experience of many people that I’ve worked with, that simply isn’t true.
There are times for doing no contact, like if you need to heal emotionally or get your own emotions under control or stabilize yourself after a very, very shaking sort of emotional experience, then sure– it makes sense.
But… no contact should not be used as a tool to elicit a certain response from your ex.
Otherwise, using no contact is basically just a mind game, right?
And you know again, trust me, I have been there myself.
I have made all the mistakes.
I’ve done this before in the past, and so I get it, but you don’t need to use no contact as your only tool.
Of course, there is a time and place for no contact, but not everyone needs to use no contact despite what you might be hearing from all of these other people on the internet.
If you are emotionally okay to be in contact with your ex, then I see no problem contacting them.
I see no problem reaching out to them. I see no problem doing all of that in a good, responsible sort of way.
You don’t want to call them up and pour your heart out and confess your undying love and all the things that you probably already know you’re not supposed to do.
There’s nothing wrong with being in contact with your ex, absolutely nothing at all.
I’ve worked with so many clients over the years who have gotten back together with their exes without ever once breaking contact with them.
So, it’s definitely possible to do this, and I don’t want you to think that you have to use no contact.
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