Today a reader asks how to get the man who is best for her back into her life.
Hi Elizabeth,
Thanks for all the advice through your newsletters. I don’t know what to do about this. The guy am dating suddenly turned cold. The distance between where we live is very far. I cant get him to tell me why he became cold. I haven’t spoken to him for almost two months now.
I have an ex whom I still love a lot and I’ll like to have him back since my present guy isn’t responding.
What do I do to attract the best one among them and keep him for good?
I just want one who is best for me and forget the rest.
I understand how tempting it is to want to make things happen with men when they aren’t responding in the way you hoped they would.
But darling, you are NOT a ping pong ball. You are worth more than that.
Just because the guy you were seeing dumped you rudely without really explaining why (it’s been 2 months, he’s gone), is not a reason to run back to your ex from before him.
In this situation, trying to attract either of your exes back is not the answer at all.
The reason why I don’t recommend trying to get your first ex back is that you said you would, “like to have him back since (your) present guy isn’t responding.”
What you didn’t say about your ex speaks volumes.
You didn’t say that he was the best thing that ever happened to you and you can’t believe he’s gone.
Basically, you have started thinking about him to fill the void after your current breakup. I don’t blame you, that’s completely human and normal. But it’s not a really good reason to try to get your ex back, even if you still love him.
A good reason to get your ex back is that after time and serious reflection, you can’t imagine your life without him.
The third option, which is much more likely to make you happy— is to get out and meet completely new men!
Then, if either of these exes change their mind and decide they want you back, you can make a decision about that later.
If you truly want what’s best for you like you said, leave your exes alone and start dating other people. You already know what having a relationship with either of these men is like.
Neither of these men seem invested in creating a relationship with you right now.
Circling back to either of these men and trying to get them to chase you will most likely end up with you in this same, frustrating spot next year, wondering what’s going on with these men since neither are committed to pursuing you.
It’s time to honor yourself, meet completely new men and let the cream rise to the top!
When the universe keeps shutting doors on you, listen and try something else.
I have faith that to get what you really want— love that lasts— you can definitely get that. It takes courage to leave your past behind, but it’s worth it. Get out there, meet new men and update me on how it goes.
Best,
