Hi, I’m Elizabeth Stone. Here’s today’s question:
I would like to know if the new girl my ex is dating is his forever person. Will I ever find someone new or be alone forever?
First, I have no way of knowing if your ex’s new girlfriend is his forever person. Your guess is as good as mine.
Playing the “what if” game with your ex is a miserable hobby.
Sitting around wondering about someone’s next lover after you is one of the most fascinating ways people cause their own suffering and self pity.
You’re basically doing emotional cutting by entertaining all this thinking.
Because what if you knew with 100% certainty that the answer to your question is true?
Your ex has met his forever person and it’s definitely NOT you. Does that help? Does it hurt less?
Because if it truly helps to think that, why not just go ahead and think it now if it helps you feel better.
But if it doesn’t make you feel better or that brings up a whole new set of ideas like:
“Is she going to leave him soon?” “What if he dumps her?” “When might they break up so I get another shot at getting him back?”
Then it breaks the imaginary concept that you’ll feel better if you just knew for certain.
The truth is, people are likely to find suffering in either answer, which is why we know this thought process is an excuse to do people’s favorite hobby, self pity.
And, your next question– “Will I ever find someone new or be alone forever?” makes it clear you’re throwing a pity party, because I don’t have any idea about the answer to this question either, but it sounds as though you’ve been thinking being alone forever is a terrible thing.
I don’t happen to think that’s true. I like being alone and I like being coupled up. I like my own company– so spending time with me is paradise either way.
No questions to psychics about that future are required.
Now, holding that mindset makes it MUCH easier for other people to want to spend time with you.
There are no guarantees in life. You can do things that stack the odds in your favor.
If you expect that you will meet someone to have a romance with, you’re more likely to do so.
If you expect (or suspect) you’ll be alone forever, you’ll probably create that reality and feel hopeless and miserable at the same time.
If you want something different from the reality you’re creating right now, then change your mind, get out and do the things to create it. No one will give you permission or hand it to you.
To find out 7 key ways women block themselves from attracting lasting love, sign up for my free masterclass 7 Blocks to Manifesting Love.
