Today we are going to talk about how to respond to your ex, what to say and how to talk to your ex so that they will be more open to interacting with you, sharing their emotional experiences and connecting in general.
One problem a lot of people have when it comes to interacting with their ex is that they are often walking on eggshells, afraid to make a wrong move.
This causes a lot of anxiety.
When people feel anxious, they feel less inclined to say what’s on their mind.
They are less likely to take risks and be open, honest, vulnerable, true, authentic, and transparent about how are really feeling.
Unfortunately, these are all things that will not help you so much when it comes to connecting with your ex and responding to them in the right way.
Oftentimes, when people are in an anxious state of mind, they will tend to stay on a superficial level of communication.
They’ll talk about everyday sorts of things, like sports, the weather, traffic, work, things that happened on the news or other mundane things like this.
There’s nothing wrong with talking about topics like this.
But what happens if say, you wanted to talk to me and you just picked some sort of conversation starter about something like sports, right?
And, what if I told you, “No, I hadn’t seen the game last night,” or “No, I actually don’t care about sports,” or “No, I actually like the team that’s the opposite of yours?
What would you do then?
For a lot of people that are simply relying on the surface level of communication, this is a dead end and will stop many of them in their tracks. I don’t want this to happen to you.
You need to deepen your connection down to the emotional level of communication.
Even though we may not share all the same external things in common when it comes to our job, the school we went to or the TV show we watch, we absolutely share common emotional experiences.
When it comes to how to respond to your ex to get them to open up to you, share more, and give you more of an emotional connection, you want to shift down to the emotional level of communication.
How can you make your ex want to talk to you?
Remember, they might be a little bit anxious and standoffish around you as well.
The best way to connect emotionally with your ex is to take on an empathic state of being, where you empathically communicate with them and feel into how they might be feeling or responding in any given situation.
You can ask them questions that might be a little bit more substantial, such as, “How did that make you feel?” “What was that like for you?” “Tell me more about that” and things of that nature.
That will get them to talk more about their emotional experience, right?
For example, if your ex says,
“Hey, I watched the game last night.”
Ask them:
“Oh, how is that, what was that like for you?”
Suddenly, they can tell you a little bit more detail about what it was like for them to watch the game last night and why watching the game is important.
Maybe it’s not just about the sport, maybe it’s because they used to watch the game with their dad all the time and watching the game now helps them feel connected to their dad who passed away a few years ago, right?
You might not have ever known if you stopped at the surface level of communication by responding, “Yeah, have you seen the team this year? Their score really sucks!” You would have totally missed the deeper reason they enjoy watching that sport.
That’s how you can have a deeper emotional communication and interactions with your ex.
And, that’s how to respond to your ex in order to create these deeper, richer, more rewarding emotional conversations with each other.
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