Hey there, this is Clay with RelationshipInnerGame.com. Today, we’re going to be talking about the two lessons that smart women learn when they go through a breakup.
You already know breakups can be really hard for a lot of people and it’s not surprising. You’re in a relationship and then suddenly, it’s gone, right?
A lot of people believe that their relationship is the foundation that they build their life on and then it sort of crumbles and vanishes. It can be very shaking emotionally.
Unfortunately, when a lot of people go through a breakup, they will unfortunately not learn any lessons from that experience to carry on into their life.
Instead, they will harbor resentment toward their ex or towards men in general or if there’s guys reading this, women in general. They’ll move on and think, “oh, men,” “it was just bad luck,” “bad timing,” or whatever.
But, if you are a smart woman, then you will learn these two things from your breakup, if you learn nothing else.
1. How you contributed to the breakup.
The first thing that I would hope that you would learn from your breakup is how you contributed to the split.
Now, I know that your ex is a terrible, awful, horrible jerk and he is the worst person on the face of the earth. But just because your ex was a less-than-ideal partner doesn’t mean that you get off scot-free and it’s all his fault, right?
It doesn’t work that way.
Each one of us is responsible for the breakup in our own way.
Now, you know maybe you didn’t do anything directly that led to the break-up. Maybe you didn’t do the cheating or the betrayal, but still, there is something about how you behaved or acted that maybe contributed to the breakup– like not offering your partner what it was that he wanted out of the relationship.
Maybe he expressed his needs and you did not directly address it.
Or, maybe some part of you welcomed the sort of partner into your life that maybe wasn’t for your own good.
Maybe you were welcoming somebody who is emotionally unavailable into your life or welcoming somebody who is a serial cheater and saying, “Yes, that is the guy that I should be in a relationship with. Let’s get together, I can change him.”
Right? Maybe you were doing something along those lines.
If that is the case, then you are aware of how you contributed to the breakup. You contributed to the ultimate disintegration of your relationship by basically welcoming in somebody who was not the right fit for the kind of relationship that you wanted to have.
Your contribution doesn’t have to be something really dramatic. It could just be something like maybe your values weren’t in alignment with one another. That is definitely worth learning from your breakup.
2. How to have a better relationship in the future.
Now, the second lesson that smart women learn from a breakup is how to have a better relationship. You learn to look at what went wrong in the relationship, and know that maybe there was too much arguing, too much fighting, too much lack of trust or whatever it might have been.
And, you can say, “OK, here is something that I can learn moving forward into my next relationship and try to be a little bit better and work on myself,” whether that thing is— say,
communication or trust.
You should hopefully learn something from every relationship— no matter how long or short— that you can take forward into your next relationship.
I hope this has helped you understand that you can turn your break-up into a powerful learning experience that will help you have better relationships in the long run.
To learn more about how you can have a great wonderful, loving relationship with the kind of man that you want, please head over to my website and take the quick quiz.
Next I will send you tips, advice and strategies to help you meet the guy of your dreams and create a committed relationship.