- 10 Self-Love Infused Things To Do Instead Of Another Crappy Date
- 4 Odd Signs The Person You Just Started Dating Is Seriously Bad News
- Too Damaged To Date: 8 Ways To Avoid Letting The Past Ruin Your Future
- What I Learned From Dating 12 Men in 6 Months
- Is It Possible To Have a Good Relationship With Your Polar Opposite?
- Are You An Introvert? How To Date Without Driving Yourself Crazy
- The Extroverted Woman’s Guide to Dating (and Mating With) An Introvert
- 18 Real Online Dating Lessons I Learned the Hard Way
- Why You Should Hold Out For “The Stomach Flip” Before Deciding If He’s Right For You
- “I met this great guy online, how do I get him to ask me out?”
Been Dumped? How to Get Over It ASAP
So you’ve been dumped. Maybe you’ve gone though the heartache of dealing with a man you desperately want back in your life, but who just doesn’t want to come back. Maybe this is fresh. It’s hard to know what you should do now.
Here’s how to get over being dumped.
1. Delete Everything
The first thing you should do is remove your ex from your life… completely. This means Twitter, Facebook, Google+, IM, LinkedIn, your phone, your friend’s phone, etc. You wouldn’t believe how often I hear people say “well the only place I didn’t delete him was on Twitter and he’s been ACTIVE there.” It’s hard enough to avoid the temptation to try and Google someone who you’ve broken up with. You don’t need his social media profiles staring back at you on the daily.
For those of you who will say “But that’s mean! I don’t want him to think I’m mad at him!” To this I say, nonsense. Being absent is not the same as an attack. That is what you say as well if he notices and calls you out on it. I’ve had that happen, so it’s not a far fetched situation. But that he noticed means he was checking your profile, no? 😉 Just let him stew there without any trace of you. It’s better for you both.
If you keep his number around it will just serve as a temptation. In the middle of the night, when you’re feeling lonely, on a solo Valentine’s Day, when you have to go to a wedding alone, at all of the worst times possible. Also, as far as Facebook is concerned, the absolute last thing you need is to see the pictures of him with someone new or him out with his friends seeming totally unaffected by your breakup. Just save your sanity and delete him!
Now is the time to get rid of every scrap of something that reminds you of him. If you have anything of his, toss it, give it back or donate it to charity. If you absolutely can’t deal with it right now, get a box and give the box to a friend. A definite don’t is spending your evening wearing one of his old shirts, sobbing to “your song” together. No!
Depending on the value of the items, you may want to consider just throwing them out instead of returning them. If you do decide to return them, consider having a friend deliver them, or leave them somewhere he can pick them up without you having to see him face to face.
2. Put Him on Your Do Not Call List
Taking the time to text or call is a terrible, awful plan! You do not need closure! I repeat: You. Do. Not. Need. Closure. You don’t need anything else from him unless you share actual responsibilities like a business or kids. Make it a policy to NEVER CALL anyone who dumps you. Calling him for any reason just makes you look desperate and heartbroken. Even if you only say something like “can I have my pillow case back?” Desperate.
3. Avoid Him
Go out of your way to not run into him. If you both liked the same bar and hung out there together, it’s time to never go there again. I promise you can return someday when you aren’t even thinking about Mr. Ex. Don’t get indignant on me and say “BUT IT WAS MINE FIRST” just find somewhere new.
4. Get Out and Have Fun
Now’s the time to go out and have fun! Get your girlfriends together and catch up with them. Accept invitations to go on dates with new interesting men. Fire up a fresh, new online dating profile and start entertaining the idea of seeing people again.
5. Break In A New Workout Routine
Now is an excellent time to start a fitness routine. As you’re probably aware, exercise is an excellent stress reducer and depression buster. It is also a great way to make yourself look better, tire yourself out and feel better overall about your life.
One caution for this point is to make sure that you aren’t getting fit and sexy so that you can now go “LOOK AT ME MR. EX! LOOK HOW HOT I AM!” Any and all fitness attempts you make should be for yourself, and yourself alone.
6. Don’t Entertain His Apology
If you aren’t careful, the minute you start to feel better and can get through the day without thinking about him, he will pop up and screw up your progress. I’ve long maintained that exes ALWAYS return, and I’ve found this true for my relationships, especially when I didn’t give a shit if they ever returned. Mr. Ex always pops up when you don’t give a shit. Do not take that statement as an invitation to start trying not to care while you still care! It doesn’t work.
Anyway, when he pops up looking all cute and cuddly, I need you to stay strong. Don’t feel obligated to “hear him out.” Don’t accept his invitation for a coffee date. Don’t be friends. Don’t even answer the phone. After doing the work it takes to get over a bad breakup, the last thing you need is to go back to square one, getting your hopes up that Mr. Unavailable will come around. No. Whatever issues you had with him, you STILL HAVE. He hasn’t turned into anyone else, he’s still the same jackass that thought dumping you was a good choice. Stay far away.
I hope this helped. I know how hard it is to get broken up with. Let me know what you have been doing to get over being dumped in the comment section below.
If your guy has pulled away from you, let me help you here.
If you are completely sure that want him back, check out this video. It’ll show you dirty psychological tricks to get you ex back without him having any idea about what you’re up to.