17 Ways Women Emasculate Their Men Without Even Realizing It

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I read this yesterday, and it really made me think. The premise of that powerful piece is that the writer didn’t realize the sheer number of ways that she was disrespecting her husband. The sad part is that it hit me so hard because if I’m honest, on some bad days, it could be me.

The truth is, respect is sorely lacking in many of our relationships with men. Lots of the time, we don’t even realize that we’re disrespecting him, which is why it’s that much more dangerous.

Like the author of that piece mentions, the stereotype of the dumb husband and overbearing wife is about the last joke allowed anymore.

Writing about this is hard, because there is almost always backlash with the basic premise that “well men do this and this and this to us” and, those complaints aren’t incorrect. However, this reasoning is flawed because it’s impossible to get what you want (a loving, stable relationship with a wonderful man) by denying someone else what they need. It’s like saying “I want a million dollars but I don’t have it so you can’t either.”

That’s why today I want to point out some of the most common ways that women disrespect and emasculate their men. Sometimes just shining a spotlight on a problem is enough to make us realize that changes need to be made.

Here are 17 things women do that emasculate their men and drive them away.

1. Withhold respect.respect

2. Talk down to him.

3. Make “jokes” about their guy being an extra kid.

4. Have a problem with his job or his salary.

5. Be mistrusting of his ability to handle things on his own.

6. Ask him for help, then take the problem back and insist whatever it is be done another way.

7. Nag him.

8. Boss him around.

9. Ask another guy to take care of something he could handle.

10. Treat him like he has no feelings.

11. Compare him to Mr. Ex.

12. Offer him advice that he didn’t ask for.

13. Criticize him.

14. Negative body language like eye rolling.

15. Express that he/the way he does something is not good enough.

16. Flirt with other men.

17. Refuse to allow him his own time.

I’ve found personally that when I try my hardest to avoid doing the things on this list, I reap lots of benefits in my relationship. It’s the right thing to do, and it works.

If you see yourself in this list, check out this article that I wrote about how to stop being controlling.

If you’re having trouble with your relationships with men fizzling out, let me help you here.

Tell me your thoughts in the comment section below.

About Elizabeth Stone

Elizabeth Stone is an author and founder of Attract The One.

Her popular program Ex Attraction Formula, has helped hundreds of women reunite with their men. She is thrilled to have helped so many people reignite the spark in their relationships.

Tirelessly focused on helping people improve their love lives, her work has been featured on EHarmony Blog, YourTango, Thought Catalog, Mogul, Fox News Magazine, Ravishly, Femalista, Popsugar, Read Unwritten, Medium and many more.

11 Comments

  1. Kevin

    June 6, 2015 at 6:28 am

    Thank you for posting this…..the vast majority of women do this , but in all fairness to women , women are being subtly programmed to hate & disrespect men by the ” media ” , I think as women think far more emotionally than men then they are more prone to this subterfuge. Those that control the ” media ” do NOT have our best interests at heart ,it’s the classic Divide & Rule game being played. Note that men are nearly always portrayed as stupid sex crazed beasts of the field that are worthless & expendable , & cannot function without a woman running his life. Hence the rise of women constantly labeling ALL men as ” Creepy / creeper / rapey ” & so on….the net result is a very rapidly growing number of men that have totally disconnected from women & will never bother even dating.

    I am also dumping my soon to be ex wife as she is does a lot of the above , but mainly she is a lazy couch potato lump & I’m sick of doing everything without support & appreciation , I am NO doormat & have warned her numerous times ,but she will clearly never change ,so decree nisi is the next step !! Simple APPRECIATION goes a long way.

    • Elizabeth Stone

      June 6, 2015 at 8:30 am

      Thanks for your comment Kevin. It’s tough out there. I’m sorry you’re going through that.

    • Michelle

      August 1, 2015 at 5:59 pm

      I couldn’t agree more when it comes to media and social norms. I get accused of gender essentialism every time I suggest ways to show respect for the man of a relationship. Since when is cooking dinner while he works on the car gender essentialism?

      To this list I would also add:

      – sharing sensitive information about him with others. Emasculating and a sure fire way to make sure he never trusts you with sensitive info again.

      – spending outside your collective means, and worse, complaining you don’t have enough to buy what you want. Disrespectful and it can make him feel like he’s not a good provider.

      G+: GoodKittyGoneBad

      • Elizabeth Stone

        September 22, 2015 at 9:28 am

        Thanks for those great additional points Michelle! So true.

  2. Darlene Polizzi

    September 17, 2015 at 9:00 am

    Thank you for writing this. Any time any human being mistreats another in such a way it is reprehensible! The media does indeed show men to be stupid idiots that can not even parent right. Disney plays this scenario over and over in its seemingly innocent sitcoms everyday. It makes me sad to see any of my children mistreated because the opposite sex deems them as worthless , it breaks my heart. I have seen both sides of this coin. Shame , Shame.

    • Elizabeth Stone

      September 22, 2015 at 9:28 am

      Thanks Darlene. It’s really a bad situation for sure– but I hope in some small way to add to meaningful change. It’s got to be hard to raise sons and watch that.

  3. M&M

    March 23, 2016 at 7:47 pm

    I live in a marriage where my wife subjects me to 80% of the behaviors on this list. I’m miserable and planning my exit. I hope divorce doesn’t financial ruin me but its either this or suicide.

    I’m in hell.

    • Elizabeth Stone

      March 23, 2016 at 8:12 pm

      Hi M&M, thanks for your comment.

      Your sanity is worth more than all the money in the world. I hope that your divorce goes smoothly and wish you the best.

  4. Anna

    April 16, 2016 at 8:11 pm

    Thank you for writing this amazing article, I agree with every word of it. I’m 25 y/o, my husband is 35 y/o man, and I don’t do any of the things listed above. I respect and love my husband deeply, he feels the same way towards me, and our marriage couldn’t be better. 🙂

    • Elizabeth Stone

      April 18, 2016 at 9:08 pm

      Thanks for your kind words Anna! So glad to hear things are going awesome over at your house :). Respect really makes a huge difference.

  5. Warren Tucker

    May 17, 2016 at 12:43 am

    WOW! I stopped dating almost 20 years ago. Men need to wise up, sex is not worth all that aggravation. I enjoy the peace and solitude and may never get married, all I see are liabilities in the end.

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