It’s not always clear whether a new guy you’re seeing really likes you or is actually head over heels IN LOVE with you.
If you happen to have a quiet or shy guy, often his actions are all you really have as far as signs he loves you.
Here are 16 strong signs he loves you or is at least strongly in “like” if your relationship has just started.
1. He will go out of his way not to screw up your relationship
When a guy is falling in love with you, the risk of losing you becomes more important than whatever else he has going on.
He might drop contact with all other women, including his female friends, because he’s trying not to give you the wrong idea.
This does not indicate that he’s become a shut-in, it’s a sign he is falling in love with you.
He will be deeply concerned about how your opinion and you perceive him.
He won’t ghost you or let you wonder if he’s EVER going to call again.
A big sign he loves you is his investment in not hurting you or potentially messing up your relationship.
2. He shares intimate, vulnerable things
Although many men have a difficult time opening up about serious experiences, issues and memories, a man who loves you will feel comfortable and feel safe enough to reach this vulnerable position with you.
If this happens on the first date, clearly this is not love, just weird oversharing.
If this kind of sharing and opening up begins to happen three to six months into the relationship, then it’s definitely a sign he’s falling in love with you.
Examples of intimate things he may share with you will be details of his divorce or other painful breakups in his life, stories about his family and childhood, his life goals and dreams.
If he talks about his mother specifically, and more than once or twice, he it might not be that he has mommy issues, he could be subconsciously letting you know that he wants to marry someone like her, and you might be it.
3. He takes risks with you
Men who love their women are the ones on the dance floor when they would have never agreed to dance in the past (in public?? THE HORROR).
Smitten men will also express sudden excitement over other things like sky diving, cake decorating classes, and trips to the library.
What these activities have in common is that he has never considered them before, but is now 100% bought into doing them with you.
Taking risks is anything he does that is outside his comfort zone.
If he has said yes to going to the ballet on Christmas Eve when he previously swore he hated ballet, he is starting to feel some strong feelings for you.
Enjoy this while it lasts, since after he gets comfortable in the relationship, he’ll probably stop agreeing to do whatever you want at the drop of a hat.
4. He treats you like you walk on water
When a man falls in love, he wants to treat her like a queen.
If it seems like you can do nothing wrong and he is going out of his way with gestures to protect you, keep you safe and free from the mud puddles of the world, he is falling in love with you and using gallant actions to display these tender feelings for you.
…And, if you WANT to make him to fall in love with you– you must LET HIM treat you this way.
Enjoy it, say thank you and encourage his kind, chivalrous behavior toward you.
Don’t grunt at him and say “I can open that door MYSELF.”
Often these chivalrous, protective instincts show up before a man even realizes he has such strong feelings for you.
If you throw water on the spark at this point, you can discourage him from pursuing you without even realizing it.
5. He starts using the “L” word frequently in random conversation
When a man is ready to share his love, he will start using the word.
In most cases he will not say the word TO you directly (yet), the way you may be hoping he will.
But he will start to love everything else. He will start signing emails “Love,” or start slipping it into conversation.
“I would love to see you again.”
“I love chili fries too!” or, if he is feeling more daring…
“I love doing stuff with you!”
If you start hearing this word randomly crop up, the “L” word in exactly the way you want to hear it is on its way to you.
6. He contacts you frequently
Guys fall in love in a woman’s absence.
If he’s thinking about you, he’ll naturally be drawn to contacting you.
On the reverse token, if he’s ghosted you or you feel like you are always the one texting first, it’s time to diversify your options by dating other men.
7. He involves his friends
Ever heard a guy gush about a new woman he’s seeing?
If he’s falling for you, he’ll want his friends to meet you and they’ll know he’s seeing someone. In fact, they might already be sick of hearing about you.
One of the signs he loves you is when he involves you with his friends and family.
The fact that he won’t shut up about you is one of the biggest signs he loves you.
8. He wants you to meet his family
In the long term, how you blend into his family is often an important consideration for a family-minded man.
If he sees you as long term relationship material, he’ll want you to meet his family and will be open to meet yours.
If he considers your relationship casual, he won’t get you anywhere near his family because it won’t be worth it.
9. He willingly spends most of his free time with you
Not only will he want to spend time with you, but it will be his idea for both of you to spend more time together.
You won’t have to come up date ideas or ways to see him more, he will just naturally gravitate toward you.
When a guy is in love with you, will also try and monopolize your Friday and Saturday nights (i.e. date nights).
Not only does he genuinely want to see you, but he knows good and well that if he doesn’t book your time then, another guy could.
10. He shows concern
Do you have a problem?
A man who loves you will try his hardest to help you solve it.
Like the man who tirelessly fixed my hot water heater one weekend, a man who loves you will want to help you with anything he can.
A guy who is falling in love with you will invest his time and energy into your happiness. Getting his help will not feel like you’re pulling teeth or trying to nail Jell-o to a wall.
Good men who love women help them. Maybe even more than you even think you want.
11. He values your opinion
Guys don’t run their problems past people who they don’t respect and trust to help them solve the issue.
If a man asks your opinion about anything at all, he’s likely to respect you. And, to men, love and respect are EXTREMELY related.
Clearly, this is one of the signs he loves you that you’re going to have to weigh with others on this list. Because good guy friends will often ask for your opinion also and this doesn’t automatically mean they’re in love with you.
But if he carefully considers and respects your opinion along with other things on this list, this is a good sign he loves you.
12. That… look of love
Men in who are in love have a certain way that they look at you.
Sometimes it’s hard to see it yourself, but when your friends meet him, they will often be able to see that he has fallen for you.
When a man loves you, he will maintain eye contact longer, and look keep looking at you when you aren’t necessarily speaking to him.
Think: lingering glances in your direction and a general look of contentment and happiness on his face.
13. He only has eyes for you
A guy who is falling for you will announce that he’s not seeing other people in hopes that you will also get off the market.
He will cancel his online dating profile and put out old flames because he both won’t want to jeopardize things AND he will want you to himself.
You won’t get that icky feeling that he is dating other women at the same time as you.
He will try and move your relationship toward exclusivity as well. It is normal for a guy who really likes you to want to take you off the market and ensure that his competition doesn’t do it first.
14. He brings up the future
A guy who is smitten won’t have a problem talking about future plans that include you.
Concert next month? Yes.
His sister’s wedding next summer? You’re automatically his wedding date.
If he’s just not that into you, it will be hard to get him to plan for anything past next Tuesday.
15. He goes out of his way to do things for you
The guy who will move mountains to make you smile is a guy who has fallen for you hard.
True story: one time a guy who I had only been on 3 dates with drove a two hour round trip for the sole purpose of bringing me coconut water.
He couldn’t stay at my house more than 15 minutes since he had to work, but he visited two different stores to find the specific kind I liked and showed up at my doorstep anyway.
Eventually he proposed.
A guy who is falling in love with you will put in a LOT of effort simply to make you smile or help you out.
16. The final sign he loves you — he actually says the L word
At the risk of putting this “yes, DUH” sign he loves you on this list, keep in mind that words are just that, words.
Actions are always one of the biggest signs he likes you.
The majority of men don’t say they love you casually. However, players can be pretty liberal with it.
You might be with a very quiet guy who shies away from flowery language but who deep down, can’t resist you.
On the other side of the coin, you might be dating a player who won’t shut up about how great you are when he actually… makes it to a date with you.
CAUTION: These signs he loves you cannot be forced!
You can’t go in there thinking, “well you’re not doing X and Y so that means he doesn’t love me.”
Avoid putting yourself through this! Don’t fall into this emotional trap!
If things are going really well with your guy, cultivate a carefree attitude of happy enjoyment rather than serious over analysis.
Enjoy the present moment with him.
In most cases, even though we might wonder (and google) “does he love me?” we know in our heart of hearts whether he truly does.
Often we have this tendency to second-guess other people’s feelings and intentions toward us– especially if we have been hurt in the past.
If that’s true for you, go slow and let him prove his love to you over time.
Remember, there is no rush– especially when you’re already having such a good time together.
