Go back to part 4 here.
“If you have insecurities with the one that you are with, how do you work on yourself? How do you get these pesky thoughts out of your head knowing it most likely is it true?”
Just as an example, if you have trust issues.
My ex, my big ex that I was with for seven years, I did not trust her. When things got hard between us, she would flirt with other guys, she would date other guys while we were still together, all of that.
I don’t think she ever actually like physically cheated on me. Maybe she did. I don’t know. But she definitely emotionally cheated. So I did not trust her to be around other guys.
When I started to date again, I kind of carried a lot of that baggage with me into the dating world.
I was really insecure, anxious and untrusting of other women. Even with Mika (my wife) when I first met her.
It was through constantly reminding myself, “that’s what my ex did in the past. That’s obviously not all women. It’s just one woman out of you know half of seven billion people, three and a half billion people, three and a half billion women. Obviously, not every woman is going to cheat on me. Obviously, not every woman is going to start flirting with somebody as soon as I’m not in the room,” right?
It was through constantly reminding myself of like, OK, this is a different situation.
Do I have any evidence for this?
No, I don’t. OK. Let’s keep going forward.
As you start to do this over and over and over again and the landmine doesn’t blow up when you take another step forward, you’re going to start to get more and more trust.
You’ll get more and more trust in the relationship, the process and in the other person. Eventually, those anxieties will start to ease themselves.
Number one, you have to recognize that the thoughts that you have are not necessarily true.
Stop and examine them and look for evidence one way or the other.
Again, I’m not saying this other person isn’t cheating on you or this other person isn’t going to turn around and flirt with somebody as soon as you walk out the door.
But you have got to give the benefit of the doubt essentially until they actually do something to say they’re just like your ex.
As you do this and continue to challenge these thoughts in your mind, as you do this and as you continue to keep these insecurities and fears and all of those other stuff in check, you’ll start to decrease that insecurity, start to decrease those fears, start to decrease those anxieties, and you’ll start to feel more and more comfortable with your current partner.
Once again, if that’s something that you want to learn more about, you’ll probably love our on-demand training over at modernlove.life/class. It’s called the five love operating system upgrades to automatically bring you in alignment with the perfect relationship or partner that you’ve always wanted.
Go ahead and check that out over at modernlove.life/class.
If you like what you see, I’m going to invite you to join our course called, The Compatibility Code which covers all this stuff in much greater detail.
Once again, thank you so much.